Dear Nexus,

This is an apology post.

Not all of you who read this will know what it is referring to. Nonetheless, i do hope you will all accept my apology as offered.

i did something stupid on another website that referenced this website. i endangered this place and my friends here. i wish i could begin to explain how sorry i am. i like to say i am not a stupid person but i do stupid things. this incident has made me begin to re-evaluate that statement. clearly, there are problems with rationality and judgement issues.

i have corrected my error, but there has been a ripple effect, mainly due to my behavior. this ripple effect has caused some minor disruptions here at the Nexus and in chat. we live in difficult, stressful times. no one needs extra melodrama and disruption. i am so very, very sorry.

i have treated acolon_5, endlessness and even briefly fractal enchantment while tripping (could someone please just slap me across the face? )poorly if not abusively. yet, all of these gentlemen have taken the enlightened high road and treated me well. i have given The Traveler more stress and exhaustion than anyone needs, especially someone so busy and dedicated to maintaining the pure magic of this place.

i am slowly deleting posts and am thinking that my main participation will probably be in the chat area from here on out. Hopefully, i will stay on good behavior and not create too many melodramatic disruptions there. if i fail, i hope friends that you will PM me rather than post something publicly. But, if you must post publicly, do what you must. also, if any of you feel my presence is untennable, i am happy to withdraw for any reason.

well, enough rambling. again, my deep apologies. funny how when we make a decision that we know might affect us we seldom consider how it can have a huge effect on those around us whom we love. i keep trying to learn this lesson and it is slow going. i am very, very sorry.

Peace & Love,
Pandora

Hello Pandora,

Thank you for the apology, it is good to see that you recognize that some parts of your actions is not favorable. Everyone does mistake, but it takes a good person to realize they have made mistakes. What crossed my mind though, was why on earth you are deleting your posts? Will that accomplish anything? As I see it, the only thing that accomplish is ruining the flow of discussion in countless threads. It is a harsh strike to the community to delete so many posts, you do see that fact?

Take care,
Evening Glory

Hello Pandora,

Peace to you.

I behaved poorly myself, thank you for not calling me out on it.

I too my apologize to you. I let other things in my life affect the way I was handling myself as a moderator of The Nexus.

Please reconsider deleting your posts. You are a wonderful writter and I would hate for people to miss your posts. They are all welcome here at the Nexus.

I would also hope that you decide to stay around. You are needed here.

Evening Glory,

If you wish, we can discuss this via PM. i do not want to create any more disruption.

Peace & Love,
Pandora

Disruption? Deleting posts? Whenever I see your name next to a post I look at it; you've struck me as one of the more experienced and therefore valuable contributors to this forum. I too hope you'll reconsider...I feel whatever damage you've done is very little next to your contributions.

Peace.

I would appreciate it if you could call me Evening Glory (or EG if you'd like), just as you don't call the other moderators Moderator. Sure we can discuss it via PM, but I feel the forum is a more appropriate place for that discussion. You brought up the fact to the public that you are deleting your posts, therefore I feel the public also should see the reasoning behind this choice. I agree wholeheartedly with lysergify, your posts is very good contributions to this forum, something I am not too happy about letting go away.

I wish you all the best,
Evening Glory

By all means delete posts you deem as personally disruptive, but I implore you to refrain from deleting your vivid reports - I'm not sure if that was your intent.

Hi Pandora - I'm a little alarmed by this post. What exactly do you mean when you say "endangered this place and my friends here" ... ? obviously you've avoided details, but when you say this place has been endangered, that has my brain twirling a bit...

It doesnt matter what happened, she is apologizing and it has been rectified.

You never have to apologize to me Momma Nexus. I don't think youve ever showed me that you even think stupidly. I believe you are an awesome person, whether through a keyboard typing, or in person. I hope to god you have reconsidered and not deleted all the posts my and my wife read often, and I am actually praying (yes seriously) that you and your kats and nemo, stay close and on top of events and discussions in this forum.

Apologies lose their meaning after some time especially if you use them too much.

I am not going to really go into the details of the situation here, but Pandora got into serious perpetrations and to be fair she got it pretty easy this time. Pandora on the other hand should give details if she really feels like apologising so that people can see for themselves. A true apology should include the perpetration, right? It is not like I kill my friend's brother then I go and tell my friend "sorry, I harmed your family, now let's go live as it was before". The friend will enquire further...

Well pandora didnt kill anybody, so I think that example is off.

Can we guys just stop beating on a dead horse and move on? This seems to me to be just stiring more drama unnecessarily, instead of continuing making the contributive posts that make the existence of this community so unique and special.

Infundibulum

Excellent point. It does not hurt me to tell everyone what happened. i will keep the ugly details to myself.

i had a myspace page that i composed while intoxicated. i did not change it over time and continued to add onto it, so this is no excuse. This page included a note that i was willing to share or trade DMT. Share or trade only. Unfortunately in other sections it had references to the Nexus. This act of supreme idiocy has been precisely corrected and i continue to feel like a complete fool. But, for what it is worth, i have learned my lesson.

Incredibly stupid, i'd be the very first to admit, but i do not sell DMT. i have gifted quite a bit in the past. As with ALL other entheogens in my life/possession other than ganga, i routinely give away more than i personally consume. Am i the only one who has gotten the message that these things are meant to be shared and/or bartered? Does everyone else just sit home greedily looking at their supplies like King Midas? i used this analogy because its the way i feel when i harvest some ganja. i have also offered to initiate people in the past but i no longer do that - when i did that i gave them a gift afterwards (for free) in the 250-1000 mg range.

Hope this helps.

Peace & Love,
Pandora

And with this last mature post form Pandora I think all what could be said has been said. Let's leave it behind us and build towards the future.


Kind regards,

The Traveler