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Why have I done this? Recurrent question after smoking spice Options
 
Themamundi
#1 Posted : 8/1/2023 11:21:26 AM

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Does it happen to you?
Mostly every time I smoke the spice, a question arise in me, why am I doing this? Just after the effect come to arise.
It is a kind of scaring question, like that am doing something wrong to me at to my dear ones. After the experience the question disappears, but I'm kind of annoed by this fear arise in me.
Do you have similar experience?
If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.
Leonard Cohen
 

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Voidmatrix
#2 Posted : 8/1/2023 11:46:36 AM

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This has happened to me in the form of not feeling I have good enough reasons for working with the spice. Makes it much harder to move passed the preflight jitters into hyperspace. It's a trap in some sense, but it's also a symbol of necessary reflection and introspection of ourselves and our actions (including smoalking DMT). Due to the transcendent and alien nature of these experiences, such a question is apt, but it need not deter you from your forays. You may not have an answer that you can put into words.

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

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Pandora
#3 Posted : 8/1/2023 2:14:35 PM

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Hi Themamundi,

I'd say about 35% of the time, after I take that 3rd hit and put the pipe down and blindfold on then lay back and see things beginning to start and feel that body load I get these quick thoughts, "Did I really want to do this? Why am I doing this? Maybe I shouldn't do this again . . . "

I'm convinced it is the beginning of that dreaded flight or flight reaction. Usually it passes quickly. I realize there is no going back and just tell myself to try to let go. Everything starts to look better at that point.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


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Quetzal7
#4 Posted : 8/2/2023 5:23:42 PM

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Themamundi wrote:
Does it happen to you?
Mostly every time I smoke the spice, a question arise in me, why am I doing this? Just after the effect come to arise.
It is a kind of scaring question, like that am doing something wrong to me at to my dear ones. After the experience the question disappears, but I'm kind of annoed by this fear arise in me.
Do you have similar experience?


I had the same, several time
Sometimes the mind is also convinced that's the last time i'm going there xD

On the moment, this space can be relatively absurd and unintelligible , so the mind can't make any sense of why we are CHOOSING to go there...
but like you, i never regret, afterward xD
 
Themamundi
#5 Posted : 8/7/2023 10:50:37 AM

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Posts: 6
Joined: 19-Jul-2023
Last visit: 12-Aug-2023
Thank you,
It is very comforting the idea that I'm not the only one feeling this.
If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash.
Leonard Cohen
 
 
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