Today i got my vape tank and created some 3ml/1g e-juice. I was visiting an apartment to rent beforehand (which wasnt great). When i came home i prepared the vape. Last time i ate was around 12 o' clock, i smoalked at around 7pm. When i felt i ready i took a deep hit, almost coughed but could suppress it, breathed out and took a 2nd one. The first one was really going strong already and when i inhaled the second i set my vape beside me. I was laying on my sleeping couch.
This has been by far the deepest i have gone on deems. It all went WRRRRRRRR like i tuned in. The music there was great. Very gritty spacey feel. I remember i perked myself up with my elbows and felt how my face expressed true awe. My eyes were open but i was completely blind. When i closed them the visuals shifted but had a similar intensity, it was more colourful with my eyes closed. It was highly erotic, it felt like making love to my own pure essence. I saw ineffable visuals. There was some thought happening but it was all chopped up and didnt make much sense. For a short period of time i lost touch with my body and got fully involved in the experience. In hindsight this felt very familiar, it felt like i had alot of experience with this but also dont (difficult to describe).
I felt like parts of me were straightened out. When i came down i was struck with a feeling of WTF. i realized most of the problems i have are just created by overthinking. I also realized that i NEED my own home, again. I felt like it got easier to have access to my emotions and share them. I also thought about my dad and how to approach this situation with him, its also something i realized i stress too much and was very anti about. I then put on some music and danced my arse off.
I noticed the beauty in myself and enjoyed myself. Its great to work myself. I gained great confidence to connect with people, as i felt really right in this moment. This is a thing i struggle with since the age of 8.
This experience helped me in many ways, it sure does feel like dmt gives you the experience you need, not the experience you want. It seems to align ourselves with the pure essence we are, just for a moment but deep enough to have major changes to our day to day life. For now i cant tell how deep this experience was, as i dont have much to compare them. Im looking forward to gain more experience with this substance.
I hope you liked my report. <3