Experience from Friday, May 13th, 2022

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Well-balanced
(physical condition) Set: Fatigued/Tired
Setting (location): My altar
time of day: Late evening
recent drug use: Cannabis
last meal: 1800- Chicken Piccata with buttered noodles and French bread

PARTICIPANT
Gender: M
body weight: 61kg
known sensitivities: I'm hyper-sensitive (sensory processing sensitivity)
history of use: Seasoned

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Rue, Lemon Balm, Cannabis, DMT
Dose(s): Rue=5g, Lemon Balm=1Tbsp, Cannabis=1 joint, DMT=8-12mg
Method of administration: Rue+Lemon Balm; drank in tea, Cannabis; smoked, DMT; vaporized.


EFFECTS
Administration time: T=2200
Duration: .25 hours + .75 hours
First effects: 10sec
Peak: T=0:01
Come down:T=0:12
Baseline: T=1:00

Intensity (overall): 2.5
Evaluation / notes:
OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 4
Implesantness: 2
Visual Intensity: 2.5
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AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0
Afterglow: 3; emotional and psychological resilience, increase sense of balance and groundedness, improved sense of well-being, motivation.


REPORT

It was a good day; went to work, ran some errands, and then had dinner with my aunt and cousin.

On the drive home I reflected on how it had been about a week since my last journey, but in that moment had decided to postpone due to how tired I was feeling. I still had every intention to meditate though, and meditation is where things get interesting...

I roasted and brewed 5g of rue with a tablespoon of lemon balm, which, along with a joint or bowl, has been part of my nightly meditations lately. It's nice...

During the time in which my tea was being imbibed and my joint smoked, with my eyes closed and allowing my mind to wander, not controlling anything, I began thinking about DMT. Not doing it. But about it and many things connected to it. I remember thinking while having these thoughts "I'm not going for a journey tonight."

That all changed when the impulse hit. In an effort to work on myself and move forward in life, I have been using DMT to help me act on certain impulses. The weight of the impulse in this instance made it as though the thoughts of not journeying never happened.

I keep my crucible loaded with about 10mg on my altar. When the choice is made, it's already prepared. Now this time, I recall the dose being 8mg, but my intuition keeps scratching at the back of my mind telling me that it was 12mg...

Putting my joint out, and having only drank half of my tea, I stated my invocation and preheated the device. I took my first pull. Oddly, I didn't get much. So I took a second one. After removing the mouthpiece from my lips, I saw some vapor emanating from the the crucible. I almost took a third, but the effects and rapidity of the come-up let me know that I was already going to get more than I expected.

I closed my eyes, and the space opened up. Through the changing phases that signify the come-up, a face in the space suddenly appeared. A very round face, with very round eyes, and ears, and nose, and mouth. And it spiraled into the space disappearing, being consumed. As it did so the space changed again. And the journey commenced.

The first thing I remember noticing was the coloring being pastel hues of pinks, purples, greys, and blues with flourishes of green. In the beginning, pink dominated the color pallet. There were these structures; simply stated, visually comparable to spinning dishes on sticks, but insanely complex. There were fibrous lengths throughout the "stick" base. Because these structures were massive and the way objects topologically functioned in the space was different, the base was visibly large. There were lever arms and piston like objects articulating and pumping throughout the pillar's length. The spinning dish looked like it occupied more than one dimension in space in it's highly complex layering of moving and spinning parts, being nested from the inside out and from top to bottom and top to center/bottom to center. I moved through what felt like a forest of such structures.

Soon, the structures transformed and I noticed strange adorable little entities making the new structures in the transformation, signaling, "pretty cool, right?" The dominant hue with this change was now of the blue range. I remember a communication to the effect of, "You've been in some darker planes for a while. It's wonderful to have you here." New entities, kept coming up showing me things, telling me to watch. "Really watch." One I remember well was the creation of new polytopes in higher dimensions from a previous one, the most peculiar thing about it was it seemed as though they pushed the starting polytope from whatever dimensional space it was in into 2 dimensional space, and then forced it back up one dimension higher than the original. What fascinated me the most about it is that they were creating polytopes in higher dimensions that theoretically couldn't exist under certain sub-branches of geometry. All the while, still moving through a forest complex of structures.

Throughout the journey, the background would change. When it did, there would be a split in my purview and the two sides would spin inward like double-doors, but all the way around, and after turning a full 360 degrees, be a very different picture.

As the structures continued to transform, there was some imagery that my mind filled in in a manner that triggered some trauma that has been taking some time to recover from. This is when the work began. I saw it as an opportunity to work on growth and healing. In doing this inner work, I was reflecting deeply, and noticed, while the work is a struggle, and what was being dealt with was very hard, a large part of me was still very joyful in the moment. In the state of being I was in, I was able to occupy multiple states of intense emotion and just "be." While there was still interactive visual content, I cannot at this time recall it; the inner work took precedence and I never shy away.

This was, at most, an experience from a 12mg max dosage. I always double-check my weights and am sure to make sure that the scale is reading correctly before weighing. The rue is certainly a contributor, even if I only drank about half of my tea. And there was again a multiplicity of depths experienced at once. I could reconnect with my body whenever I wanted, but was not fully in my body. And it was vivid, very vivid. It's kind of a blessing and a curse to have sensitivity increase the way it has been for me. But more a blessing. This acting on impulse has been paying off in connecting with myself in ways that I have long neglected. A lot of confidence has been built.

At the end, as I closed the space and the experience, sharing my gratitude, I told the spice that I feel we had just grown closer, to which there was telepathic reciprocation.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed.

One love

That was incredibly well detailed. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you kindly brother Practice makes progress in trying to describe these wildly enigmatic and ineffable and ephemeral experiences.

One love

Thank you for this writing. I'm going to think about your impulse philosophy as I build up to a long awaited next journey.

Beautifully presented Void.

Thank you very much my friend.

In the spirit of risk management I will say that my approach I wouldn't recommend necessarily (as is the case with how I work with entheogens in general; I'm also one who will journey while balling my eyes out which I also wouldn't recommend), but I share my approach for consideration of others if they find it fitting for them. All that to say, I hope in your ponderings you're able to assess if such an approach is right for you.

One love

Impulse, eh?


On a more relevant and less frivolous note, I got the impulse this morning and vaped a couple of sub-threshold doses which really helped with inspiring a little and much-needed yoga workout.

You tend to crack me up to no end! I watched that three times. Perhaps I need to get myself some of that product

On the yoga note, I find it enjoyable to do a yoga flow/stretch routine while in a somatic experience with DMT, so either low low dose or on the return/comedown. Pretty damn refreshing. Maybe I'll get one in tonight

One love

Thanks for posting this Void!

In time, hopefully I can present my experiences in a detailed, articulate and easy to understand manner as you.

I always enjoy reading your posts, they never fail to inspire me in some shape or form,
cheers buddy

Oh man, thank you so much again, PR. You are always so touching and I am always humbled by it. Really appreciate your presence, outlook, and wonderful attitude on the forums.

I'm also thankful because I tend to not know what to think about my own writing Can we say "negativity bias?" Bahaha

One love

Feeling is mutual my psychedelic friend

In my own experience, the most humblest of minds are by their very nature, the biggest self critics.

Therefore, I think it is only fair to make you aware of these attributes you have and the positive
effect your words have on myself and the community in large

Very nice, made for an interesting read. I have yet to see entities like the ones you have described, though I am not convinced I have fully broken through yet.

What's interesting for me is that, now, the only difference between a "sub-breakthrough" and a "breakthrough" is the degree of vividness and intensity. Regardless, I tend to be "somewhere else" and entities abound, though not always

One love

This is the conclusion I have reached 3 trips after returning from a 7-8 year hiatus. And for me it seems like earlier on, there was a definite veil that had to be torn back, but since that has happened, now it feels more like a matter of scale than some massive transition between sub-threshold and breakthrough. The difference now has become one of intensity and clarity, but the substance of it is the same.