PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set:Slightly anxious due to seasonal changes, but overall relaxed.
(physical condition) Set:Slightly sore.
Setting (location):At the altar.
time of day: (12 or 24 hour system, daylight? starlight? overcast?)19:30
recent drug use: (list also any kind of medication)5g rue tea, a joint of Divine Kush Breath during meditation
last meal: (Time and type)17:00

PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male in this life
body weight: 62.2kg
known sensitivities: Sensory Processing Sensitivity
history of use: Over a decade

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Cannabis, Rue Tea, Changa
Dose(s): Three hits from a previously packed bowl.
Method of administration: Vaporized in GVG


EFFECTS
Administration time: T=19:30
Duration: 0.5 hours
First effects: Body rush and load.
Peak: T=3 minutes
Come down:T=25-30 minutes
Baseline:T=40 minutes

Intensity (overall): 1.5
Evaluation / notes:Handled well. Was a growth point. A step in the right direction.

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 3
Implesantness: 1
Visual Intensity: 2
.
.
.


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0
Afterglow: 3; Balanced mood, clarity of thought.

REPORT

It was after my role-playing game.

I had initially made the decision to save blasting off for the next day. That changed during my meditation.

I had taken a break from DMT for about a month while assessing the effects of a microdose regimen that I had started.

Drinking my tea, and smoking my joint, I began falling into my meditative process. Breathing slow and deep, I allowed my thoughts to run their course while remaining in a mode of observation. After my tea and joint were finished, thoughts around my generally inexplicable psychedelic apprehension cropped up. I love psychedelics, particularly DMT. It calls me and communicates with me (seemingly at least) outside of the influence of hyperspace. But I struggle to "go" and to go deep.

The spice had been calling me, and waiting patiently. I also wanted to journey. I've learned that when consciously I don't have a laid out reason for journeying, the impetus can be found in my intuition. So, in an effort to do what I love without holding back, and without focusing on the worst case scenerio, I grabbed my GVG that had a bowl packed from about a month ago. Before taking a hit, I recited the following invocation with intent:



I took my first hit. The body load and rush came on quick. I took another hit...

The first space I entered seemed to be primarily composed of human heads, with flat affects and expressions. As I moved through the space, I noticed a large throne like chair, with a titan sitting in it. The titan was massive. It noticed and acknowledged me, but then went about its business. The vibe was dark, but I was still enjoying myself and the space, observing the structures and their range of pastel colors in the hues of purples, reds, pinks, whites, and greys. Thoughts cropped up related to hierarchies, domination, as well as thoughts about my own fear. My fear dominates me. The fear my depression magnifies dominates me.

From there I ended up in a strange carnival like space. The black drop was just space, as if the whole things was just floating. There were alien figures seemingly enjoying the carnival. I even recall being at a booth similar to the one where games are played, such as throwing a ball into a hole or at falling figures to win prizes. However, I was uncertain how "their" games were played, so just observed. Many of the alien figures seemed to be enjoying themselves doing odd things like flattening themselves and moving through a mechanism.

There was a "welcome back" message throughout the journey.

I'm glad I had this journey, because seasonal effects hit me hard today and probably would've been tougher to manage without the afterglow of the journey.

This is also one of those journeys that makes me move away from the term "breakthrough." It sounds like a breakthrough experience, but didn't have the vividness and intensity for me to call it such. Everything I saw was there, and I was clearly somewhere else, but also still in my room, and still in my body, as if I was standing perpendicular inside the hyperspace doorway. Hitting the pipe more would've only made it appear more vivid.

I need to let go of my inhibitions, do more of what I want, not have such high standards, be less rigid, and allow myself freedom. All things that are works in progress. Also, stop judging myself for being unable to journey in ways I used to in the past. It's okay to be where I am in my journey. Psychedelics are part of my path.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed.

One love

Thank you for sharing, a good read.

You seem to be your own harshest critic.

Yes thank you Voidmatrix for this. Well reflected.
When you now lifted off and it went well, didn't you want to continue journeying? Almost always happens to me...

Thank you both



Hahaha that's putting it nicely. However, thank you for calling that out, because while I try to do so internally, the message doesn't always sink in. It helps when the same message comes externally sometimes (which I have received from DMT, but considering its mysterious nature, it's hard to know how much weight to attribute to certain messages).



And thank you for calling this out as well.

Do I want to? Hell yeah. Do I allow myself? Very rarely. There's almost a categorical denial of myself from that which I would like and want. A voice telling me I shouldn't. That's the voice of depression and I need to heed my own voice better.

Thank you both again. This is a rocky time of year for me, so the encouragement is very much appreciated.

I'm also glad you both enjoyed the report.

One love

Well, if it makes you feel any better.... I just got brutally hyperslapped with changa. The last 3 experiences. One was incredible, one was underwhelming, one was hopefully amnesic.

I'm thinking now that I'll wait a while and try freebase when the time is right. I need some rapid flash colour and vibrancy to offset the murky, far too drawn out places I've been recently.

Damn, I'm sorry. Sometimes breaks are good. I make sure to take them from time to time and moderate the distance I travel when frequency of use is higher. There are instances for exceptions and branching out though.

Was the amnesic one because it was so weird, or did you smoalk a whole lot in a very short window of time? Just curious.

Yeah... I've found that it tends to only get weirder with time, which can make it a little bit more daunting potentially. Switching it up to freebase from changa or visa versa does change things up noticeably.

One love

Oh it wasnt that bad. Just complete confusion, no solid visual or emotional content. That kind of space where you need to try really hard to remember you just smoked some DMT and that it will be over soon. Writhing organic feelings without any clarity, almost faint worm like pseudo visuals that are not really there. Too fast and too confused to grasp anything. Devoid of company, just a mess. Amnesic because there was no message other than I did it wrong. Potentially too high a dose. A single bowl that took a good 30 mins to get back to baseline. Too much dose to be smooth but too much maoi to be useful I'm guessing.

I'm learning that my changa with maoi skills are hit an miss to say the least. I have a feeling that the distribution of DMT and passion flower are not even or consistent through the stash of changa.

Once in the past it might have been traumatic. But by now my only reaction on coming down was a wry, self degrading laugh at my lack of experience.

Ha! That all sounds familiar!

As for the even distribution of DMT and harmalas, it's helpful to use extracted harmalas to more evenly distribute it throughout the blend. I notice this even more when I use passionflower. As you continue to experiment with making changa you'll dial in the balance of preferred herbs per batch to help mitigate the distribution issue.

Have a great day my friend

One love

Hi, friend! Many hugs!

I really missed you. Haven't talked in a long time.

I have been on a break, in experiments with DMT, for 9 months now.

You know, somehow unexpectedly for me, it became clear to me that I needed a break.

I need to assimilate the material that I received from past travels.

It's been 9 months. Apparently I learned the experience from my travels. This I saw, after carefully observing myself, for a long time. Only I was looking for thoughts with words that would give me answers. But I didn't see anything. And today I realized that there will be no words, no images. Yes, and that's not the point. I saw and recognized it. I have changed myself. I choose my mood. Whatever happens, I choose to be sad or happy. This is the best skill in my life. I'm happy!

Friend, it has already been said above that you are too strict with yourself. I wanted to express my opinion too. I want to add. I see you as a good, kind person who sincerely loves people.

If you love me, believe me, the one you forbid yourself to love is worthy of your love no less than I am.



Tomorrow is my next trip.



Thank you for having me.



Thank you all, I love you all.

My friend! It's wonderful to hear from you. Love hearing about your learning through your integration break And I look forward to hearing how your trip tomorrow goes.

There's some synchronicity with the timing of your response and the content as I have been talking myself up for a journey after work. Thank you for the kind and honest words of encouragement and love. I am doing my best to make changes with myself and one of those is being less strict and rigid and more free and fluid. You're helping me to be excited and look forward to this journey instead of feeling anxious and having to reverse convince myself to go for it.

Hugs! Don't be a stranger :love"

One love

A wonderful read. Also my first time reading a report on the Nexus. Happy to be able to respond as a full member now.

I know exactly what you mean by wanting to move away from the term breakthrough. Your analogy of standing perpendicular in the doorway is spot on. I have had many similar experiences in terms of intensity. It's ok if it seems less vivid, as I don't want to use the term bland or desaturated. I was reading up on entity classification and hyperspace terminology the other day and the term "local entities" comes to mind in reference to your throne titan and carnival aliens. As if it was some kind of state fair instead of a universe fair you were attending.

I'd also like to point out that I absolutely love your invocation and with your permission would like to surf on that invocation on my next experience. I often do my own praying/sending intentions into the universe before embarking on a journey but I find that yours hits every mark and it really moved me. I can tell you have the utmost respect for not just your journey, but for your mind and your wellbeing.

I think with that kind of attitude, it's only a matter of time before you uplift your spirits.

I too start to get a little down as the weather turns gray and gloomy as it is on the NE coast every single year. I miss the vibrant blue and greens that summer brings.

Anyways, great read, thank you for sharing.

Thank you for reading. I'm very glad that you enjoyed it. It's one I think of often.



Ha! Someone beat me to it Well, now, you can also post your tek for peer review by other Nexians other than myself.



It's a peculiar phenomenon that overall I am thankful for. It's nice to get certain benefits without having to completely lose control, though those times can be of huge benefit as well. And I think you're accurate in your statement about it not really being bland or desaturated, because it's really not that. It's all very present. Even color is present in less vivid experiences, even when "barely" perceptible.

As for the fair, I have no idea. It was definitely in the middle of nowhere



You are more than welcome to, my friend anyone who vibes with it is free and clear to adopt it.

And thank you. I must say that the respect, adoration, and reverence are also very much directed at DMT and hyperspace. And not only that, it seems to "want" me there, which I have yet to figure out why. But fortunately, it feels like a reciprocal relationship.



Thank you for the kind sentiments. I am always striving. I wrote this a while back as a general resource that details a little more of my situation, if you're curious. And it's interesting because my seasonal impacted depression actually happens in the Spring and Summer months.

One love

Hi Voidmatrix..

Sounds like an amazing experiance!

Can i ask..what your Changa was made of? [did you use cappi leaf?

Also how strong did you make your rue tea? [how many grams of seed? did you drink all the tea?

Hey my friend!

I unfortunately can't remember exactly what blend I used, however I did not use any caapi leaf, but that'll change in the near future.

And that batch of rue tea was five grams, roasted then steeped in slightly acidic water. I drank it all

One love

Thats a lot of rue!

In my experiance ... [cappi leaf infused with spice]....alone. . works great..

I had a visionary experiance using only ..[jungle spice/infused into cappi leaf! ] [no rue]

I had native american spiritual music playing..after smoking the changa... i observed a buffalo skull that opened up into a sunny pasture with mountains green fields animal life..it was very positive experiance...

i need to find some more fresh black cappi leaf!

VoidMatrix,

Thank you so much for sharing this experience. I really loved this;



and this:



I have been thinking about hyperspace a lot recently and it sounds like the flora and fauna are similar to my memories.


Now that close to a year has passed how are you doing? Are you still being affected by seasonal depression?

Wishing you the best in your search for healing and feeling grateful to have read this.

-Pandora

Thank you very much, Pandora, I'm glad that you enjoyed it



My depression has been an ongoing phenomenon for the better part of my life unfortunately. Potentially part of the genetic hand that I was dealt, among other features and experiences. However, and fortuitously, I think I am turning a page in managing it better. We'll see. Been dealing with it so long that while I feel rather well at the moment, part of me is anticipating the other shoe dropping. Trying to focus on what's been making things better instead. All works in progress.

Thank you for asking.

One love