Well, just had a real misfire. First one since the initial start of this journey two years or so ago. Set and setting were good. Mindset seemed ok although perhaps not fully committed and decided to have a smoke on an impulse before bed. Dose was a good bowl of the same changa I smoked a few days ago with monumental experiences.

This time I came up initially and felt the family welcoming, grasping hands reaching out and touching me. But the trip went flat quite quickly. The last major sensation I felt was of a beckoning and calling host trying to coax me towards them but I could not go.

What followed was then a huge body load, quite uncomfortable, strong underwater visuals but no closed eye journey or open eye journey. A sudden lack of any feeling of presence or company. A long and again slightly uncomfortable come down of maybe 15 mins. Now I feel depleted.

My feeling is that the dose should have been good enough. However on inspection the screen on my pipe has become quite gunky and in hindsight the draw was quite tough. Even the first draw felt like an effort and didn't really fill my lungs. Took too long to finish. Need to buy some more screens. So my guess is that I received the dose too slowly?

The mix was mull, passiflora and peppermint. Is it possible I got a really maoi heavy part of the mix or something?

I feel depleted, slightly disappointed and still quite heavy on the body load. There was no darkness or sadness to the trip, just underwhelming all around. Apart from the first minute or two, pretty uncomfortable physically the whole way.


Am I on the right track with my thinking? Can anyone help share some experience please?

First, reassurance, what you went through is normal.

Second, sounds like a sub-breakthrough, which many find to be an uncomfortable experience. Personally, I love sub-breakthroughs, granted that's probably because I've been working through this irrational neurotic apprehension the past few years.

It is possible that that particular journey did have more effect from the MAOI but that's hard to tell with you performing some experimentation on yourself.

Body load is normal too. I've had intense experiences with almost no visuals with the majority of the experience being somatic and relegated yo my body.

DMT always has something new to show you.

One love

Thank you Void. I have a feeling you've been looking out for me a bit recently and I appreciate it.

I've had very enjoyable mild experiences before but never such a heavy body load. During the protracted comedown I was convinced I was being told that smoking tonight was a mistake. But afterwards I was conflicted by the feeling that I had not actually committed enough. Then the realisation of poor delivery through the blocked up screen.

Is it possible also that after recently having my brain stretched out in front of me by alien feeling limbs and then meeting a grieving goddess that made me cry in sympathy that my expectations had been unrealistic this time? Almost like I assumed I deserved another profound journey when that gift was special enough already to last a lifetime.

I'm confused about the message. There was definitely a feeling like the failure was on my end rather than a denial to travel. I'd really like to believe that I just messed up the dose.

Both of those feelings could be "true." It could be a connected series if things that lead to such an experience. For example, your forgetting about the screens being able to become clogged could've been represented in your subconscious bringing forth the idea, in retrospect, that you shouldn't have done it as well as impacting how the dose was delivered and generating the overall vibe of the experience.

Your expectation may of may not have been lofty. It's hard to know. However, from my experience, the more you go the weirder it gets. I mean it when I say DMT always has something new to show you. I find it best to have withhold expectation and be as receptive as you can. You never know what you're gonna get.

DMT experiences can often deliver relevant information symbolically. Sometimes there's also more than one message in the delivered message

If the feeling, thinking, and intuition says it was just a slip up on your part, it probably was

Better luck next time!

One love