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Two little panic attacks and very gentle entities Options
 
Teamleary
#1 Posted : 6/5/2021 2:03:59 PM

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Hey everyone : )

Long time no see!

It's been a while since I "worked" with DMT. At least a couple of months. What a crazy year it's been, man! And lately, work was a bit overwhelming.

Anyway, I had planned to drop some lucy this afternoon. But ultimately, I realized that I was very tired, a little too tired for a 10 hour long trip. Even at a low 100ug. I was a bit disappointed but I didn't wanna force anything. We all know it's the worst thing to do.

But I figured: hey, too tired for a 10 hours ride don't mean you're too tired for a quick trip into the hyperspace!

I think I underestimated the level of tiredness and my subconcious stress. I loaded 90mg of changa in my bonga.
I was really focused on getting everything at once and for so dumb reason, I started to be overly concerned by the fact that I wasn't succeeding! And my toke was soooo long (since I wanted to get everything) that 1) I couldn't hold my breath, so I exhaled a bit too quickly and 2) I ended up out of breath. And so: heart racing, and very unpleasant breathing led to a scare. I think it was the dullest breakthrough I have ever experienced color-wise. But it was much calmer than usual also. Less movement. And more importantly, I could "hear" them saying "everything is gonna be alright, you're alright", and it calmed me down... I reopened my eyes pretty quickly and was then overwhelmed by a superb body high. Almost orgasmic.

So... I was reinvigorated! I decided to load 25mg of FB. I took it all in one toke and managed to keep it inside long enough. I pulled my eye mask down. Felt something like "oh, but you've been here a minute ago, friend" as I was sucked in the vortex. But here, a burp, a feeling of being nauseous! PANICK! I'm gonna puke! What? No! Nobody pukes vaping FB DMT! I don't know what's going on! I stand up, pull my mask up, feel very dizzy, see shapes on the ground, decided that I was okay, sat on the floor, still scared at the idea of puking/choking on my own vomit; thinking "you should always have a bowl next to you in case", got into recovery position on my meditation mat and immediately entered the "super high definition corridor-moving palace made of language" that we all enjoy!

And once again: I could feel them reassuring me, telling me everything was gonna be alright, that I wasn't in any danger, and I think I kept thanking them for being so nice to me, for taking care of me so well. It was very very sweet. A very sweet moment, yes.

It's funny, when I used to sub-BT every time, I had a tendency to moan at each breath. I think it might have been a ruse of my ego to not let go. This time, I heard myself moan and was like "who's moaning?". Totally forgot who I was.

Also, other thing: generally, when I come down after a breakthrough I go through these phases:

1 - speechless โ€“ woaw! what was that?
2 โ€“ intense gratefulness
3 โ€“ this is the truth, I should dedicate my life to that experience
4 - yeap... but I'm gonna need a break, this was too intense to be repeated shortly
5 - questioning, trying to grasp on my memories
6 - a bit of frustration appears: I feel like I didn't "take away" anything I can properly identify.
7 - wonder how it compares to others' experiences.

(I guess you can see the ego building itself back up in that pattern!)

Yet, this time, I came back down gently, wasn't too "impressed" (ahaha) and was mostly wrapped (still am to be honest) in the entities' kindness. Wrapped in that "everything is gonna be alright" feeling. In that "I'm being taking care of" feeling.

I think it says a lot about fear. We bring it in the experience. The fear is our own. At least that was true of my experience. I was scared but the hyperspace itself was reassuring.

Real nice, thought I should share!
"How Small A Thought It Takes To Fill A Whole Life"
Wittgenstein
 

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potnoble
#2 Posted : 6/5/2021 5:45:25 PM

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Thanks for sharing

Nothing is worse than running out of breath right when the Trip starts.
I think you did a pretty good job at staying calm.
When this happened to me i panicked.
I probably was never that scared in my life.
Funny thing is the trip stopped immediately like nothing ever happened.
DMT is a hell of a drug Shocked

Have a gud one and breeeeaaaaath
Psychedelic drugs don´t change you, they don´t change your character,
unless you want to be changed. They enable change. They can´t impose it.
Alexander Shulgin
 
Voidmatrix
#3 Posted : 6/5/2021 11:24:02 PM

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Very beautiful Teamleary and good to see you again Smile.

I vibe a lot with your experience. I have been purging (specifically vomiting) almost everytime lately, whether it's changa or freebase, so tend to keep the trashcan close.

I find I enjoy when entities challenge me, tease me, but also baby me. It's a wonder experience. Recently an experience was flowing in and out of me and I could feel a presence ask, "is this okay?" which made cry tears of joy a little.

What's the ratio of your changa blend?

I'm glad everything worked out well and it was still a great experience for you. I love reading reports so thank you for sharing.

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

DMT always has something new to show you Twisted Evil

Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea...
All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
 
Teamleary
#4 Posted : 6/6/2021 3:58:06 PM

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potnoble wrote:
Thanks for sharing

Nothing is worse than running out of breath right when the Trip starts.
I think you did a pretty good job at staying calm.
When this happened to me i panicked.
I probably was never that scared in my life.
Funny thing is the trip stopped immediately like nothing ever happened.
DMT is a hell of a drug Shocked

Have a gud one and breeeeaaaaath



Hey Potnoble!

Thank you for your kind words but I think I didn't do "any job", the DMT realm did it all!

but yeah, being out of breath is super scary. And the heart racing is too.

The thing is, since I'm already a bit stressed out before I take it in, I'm already a bit short breathed and my heart is already pounding. So it makes the beginning a bit rough.

also, it's the second time I have this nausea/fear of vomiting, and it happened in the past 3 sessions... I hope it's not gonna happen regularly
"How Small A Thought It Takes To Fill A Whole Life"
Wittgenstein
 
Teamleary
#5 Posted : 6/6/2021 4:00:33 PM

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Voidmatrix wrote:
Very beautiful Teamleary and good to see you again Smile.

I vibe a lot with your experience. I have been purging (specifically vomiting) almost everytime lately, whether it's changa or freebase, so tend to keep the trashcan close.

I find I enjoy when entities challenge me, tease me, but also baby me. It's a wonder experience. Recently an experience was flowing in and out of me and I could feel a presence ask, "is this okay?" which made cry tears of joy a little.

What's the ratio of your changa blend?

I'm glad everything worked out well and it was still a great experience for you. I love reading reports so thank you for sharing.

One love


Hey Voidmatrix!
Thank you very much for your answer!

Oh, I didn't know about the purging when DMT is smoked. First time I hear about it. I'll have a bowl ready next time, even tho, I really hope it won't happen!

"is this okay?" woaw! that's so beautiful! I love when DMT makes me cry. It's such a beautiful joy, filled with "understanding".

I think the changa was 40%!

thank you again
"How Small A Thought It Takes To Fill A Whole Life"
Wittgenstein
 
Voidmatrix
#6 Posted : 6/6/2021 5:08:39 PM

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When I first began consistently purging it made my preflight jitters worse. I have a few times, purged before I've even disembarked. This may sound counterintuitive, but if becomes a regular thing for you, just embrace it. I now just hold is as a potential part of the experience and it feels amazing after you've gotten everything up and out.

I agree about said beauty. My relationship with DMT has appeared more and more reciprocal over time which I couldn't ask for more.

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

DMT always has something new to show you Twisted Evil

Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea...
All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
 
Teamleary
#7 Posted : 6/7/2021 11:06:10 AM

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Last visit: 20-Dec-2022
Voidmatrix wrote:
When I first began consistently purging it made my preflight jitters worse. I have a few times, purged before I've even disembarked. This may sound counterintuitive, but if becomes a regular thing for you, just embrace it. I now just hold is as a potential part of the experience and it feels amazing after you've gotten everything up and out.

I agree about said beauty. My relationship with DMT has appeared more and more reciprocal over time which I couldn't ask for more.

One love


yeah, you're absolutely right!

if I self-diagnosis, here's what I say, knowing what I know about SWIM: stress, anxiety and fear that comes right before smoking alters the way I breathe, and so air gets in my stomach. Which leads to the need to burp. But that need to burp can feel exactly like the need to vomit. Many times in my life have I had nausea-feelings because of stuck burp!

How easier would be the take off if we weren't afraid at all! but however confident I am that I'm gonna have a great experience, I'm always scared. I guess it's just the ego reacting to its coming dissolution. Giving up on that reality is scary no matter what comes in place!
"How Small A Thought It Takes To Fill A Whole Life"
Wittgenstein
 
Voidmatrix
#8 Posted : 6/7/2021 8:13:33 PM

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Teamleary wrote:
Voidmatrix wrote:
When I first began consistently purging it made my preflight jitters worse. I have a few times, purged before I've even disembarked. This may sound counterintuitive, but if becomes a regular thing for you, just embrace it. I now just hold is as a potential part of the experience and it feels amazing after you've gotten everything up and out.

I agree about said beauty. My relationship with DMT has appeared more and more reciprocal over time which I couldn't ask for more.

One love


yeah, you're absolutely right!

if I self-diagnosis, here's what I say, knowing what I know about SWIM: stress, anxiety and fear that comes right before smoking alters the way I breathe, and so air gets in my stomach. Which leads to the need to burp. But that need to burp can feel exactly like the need to vomit. Many times in my life have I had nausea-feelings because of stuck burp!

How easier would be the take off if we weren't afraid at all! but however confident I am that I'm gonna have a great experience, I'm always scared. I guess it's just the ego reacting to its coming dissolution. Giving up on that reality is scary no matter what comes in place!


My preflight jitter burps are incessant! Good to know there's other nervous burpers out there lol.

And definitely! Fear comes with the territory. And to me, that's okay! Smile

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

DMT always has something new to show you Twisted Evil

Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea...
All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
 
Exitwound
#9 Posted : 6/8/2021 8:39:33 AM

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Guys who have burps/nausea from smoalking - are you a regular cannabis smokers? I'm trying to find a trend here.
 
Voidmatrix
#10 Posted : 6/8/2021 1:08:20 PM

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Exitwound wrote:
Guys who have burps/nausea from smoalking - are you a regular cannabis smokers? I'm trying to find a trend here.


I am. I have been for a while. I was when this started happening. I've cut back quite a bit, only using anything cannabis related at the end of the day. I don't smoke before DMT use. I also vape, just to add more information for you.

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

DMT always has something new to show you Twisted Evil

Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea...
All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
 
 
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