Preparation of the trip:
- Set: I had a great day at work (even though quite a bit of urgent stuff to deal with), relaxing evening talking to friends over the phone
- Setting: comfortable bed, two candles, no other light source
- Syrian rue tea: 3.5g syrian rue boiled twice 30min each boil (first boil with lemon juice) and filtered through coffee filter (lost some during the brewing process cause I was clumsy) then boiled down to half a mug and chugged down at 19h
- After drinking the tea, spend 30min meditating, calming myself
- Spice: 40mg freebase on a ceramic disk in a GVG

DMT vaping:
- 30min after drinking the tea, I wasn’t feeling anything different (or maybe I was a little lightheaded), sat on my bed and vaporized the spice with a torchlighter
- Pulled slowly until vapor built up, coughed some vapor out but then took a big toke, kept it in for 15sec
- OEVs got wild but I took a second toke as fast as I could - may have burnt spice a little bit here in the hurry - put the pipe and lighter aside and lied down. I may have taken anything between 25 and 35mg

Breakthrough part:
- At this point, I closed my eyes, I forgot my body, I felt all emotions at once in a very strange sensation like “nothing matters, I am nothing, nothing is bad or good, it just is”
- I was in a space with simple colored geometric shapes moving and changing, very sharp edges (like sharper than anything I've seen in my life)
- At that point I coughed and it disrupted a bit but then I still was in this space
- I saw a kind of street with a ice cream vendor and then I don’t remember more

After the breakthrough:
- Next thing I remember is completely different visuals and a sense of a body which was placed differently of my own body but still lying (so was it mine??)
- Lots of looping through the same scenes again and again
- Very vegetal and organic feel to the visuals
- It replayed all the peaks from my previous three experiences
- It added a message about love and how universe was full of it and was pouring love on everyone of us
- Got some personal insights (spent lots of loops being very small and getting out of a washing machine)
- Some loops were about my doubting that I was still tripping or coming down, then I noticed that I was still flying and the loop would play again
- Spent a few loops looking up at giant men dressed in tuxedos and discussing without me hearing
- Spent a few loops reaching out to something shining up there (I think I was also physically stopping breathing and stretching out) like to reach something divine only to, at the last second, be smacked down and little thingies (unidentified) were mocking me saying “there’s nothing there dude! Nothing!”
- In many loops I thought to myself that it was very similar to a shroom trip. Actually, it was pretty different since there was no voice, no friendly shroomy warm presence
- I felt like it was just helping my brain to think clearly

What comes down must go up (again) :
- Around 21h I came down, opened my eyes. I could’ve went on for at least 30 more minutes but visuals were getting weaker
- My movements were still sketchy, vision was a bit messed up (different colors, sharp edges)
- After a few minutes wondering where the hell I was, I thought it would be a good idea to have another 30mg of vaped freebase (an idea that germinated during the first flight already)
- I loaded the GVG and sit again on my bed ready for another round at about 21h30
- My movements were sketchy so I think I burned the spice in the GVG because the smoke was absolutely terribly harsh, I couldn’t stop coughing

Second flight:
- The visuals were darker, there was no breakthrough
- Still lots of loops
- Living previous trips peaks again
- I don’t remember clearly but I think it was just a darker repeat of the first flight

Another toke?
- At some point I tried to take another toke
- The smoke was so harsh I could not take in much and CEVs went immediately into disgusting organic mess saying “stop here or you will puke like never before” so I stopped

Aftermath:
- I went down at 23h but, again, I could’ve went for another 30min at least
- I was groggy for another 1h, put some food in, talked to wonderful people on the DMT-Nexus chat, relaxed…
- I pulled the ceramic disk out to clean it, torched it with my lighter, it generated quite some white vapor so I think on the 30mg I vaped 10-15mg and missed the rest of it
- My throat hurt (and it still hurts a bit now)
- My head was cloudy for at least 3 days (getting better each day)
- I was easily frustrated and short-tempered the 2 following days, could feel bad vibes from my daily life

I’ll definitely try again, and try not to burn my spice this time !

Any thoughts?

You mentioned reaching out to something divine, being smacked down and mocked by little things... I have no idea how much control you have during an experience like this or what you can remember or bring with you (such as an intention to explore a certain territory if it becomes available) - but if you encounter those little mocking things, try to thank them for their message (or company or what-have-you) but then say goodbye and ask them to leave and be firm but stay cool and calm. Then, if it's your intention to go toward that divine light, summon something warm and loving within yourself - whatever helps you connect to the feeling of love and goodwill. And try to remember a sense of playfulness! And see if that light will meet you halfway, to me it seems like something you shouldn't have to struggle to get to - it should be a gentle, mutual meeting.

Hello BobDobbs,

Thanks for your advice!

In general, I don't want to show any aggressivity towards entities there and I want to be respectful. I don't feel like I was enough in control to thank them, but I'll think about it next time .

I appreciate your insight.

Have safe travels!

I notice you mention being small and insignificant several times (climbing out of the wash, looking up at towering men, mocking entities). Combined with your frustration post-trip I think there is something for you to examine there. I don't know you of course, but it sticks out in my mind.

Interesting read. Cheers!

Mornin, PsyLulu.

I can totally relate to the experience of reliving previous trips. My most recent trip started off with a weird thought loop the split into two different thoughts, then 4, then 8, and so on like a fractal of thought loops and previous experiences. This last trip was also the first one that I remembered quite a bit of it instead forgetting most of it right away. I've also been dabbling with rue lately in preparation for a vape-ahuasca journey like this. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.

Hey bismillah,

Thanks for the insight, you are absolutely right! I think it was also linked to the crap I ate before the trip.

But I will think a bit more about it, for sure!

I linked the washing machine with the idea that I needed to purify myself from something (junk food? Negative thoughts? something else?) but I did not think about the fact that I was small and felt negligeable.

Hey Th3_tRuTh!

Thanks for sharing your view . My loops were linear loops (like in the Matrix) redoing the same thing again and again and sometimes asking myself "wow am I stuck forever here?" and then I would notice a tiny variation and it would reassure me "oh, if there are changes, then there is an end to it".

I think overall this trip was largely influenced by my anxiety not knowing how long the trip would last or anything since it was my first time trying this combination.

Cheers!