PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: 2nd day of Aya ceremony, first time really imbibing aya
(physical condition) Set: i was clean for a month in preparation for the ceremony, no alcohol, no drugs, vegeterian diet
Setting (location): nature reserve, aya ceremony, 20 people around a fire
time of day: (12 or 24 hour system, daylight? starlight? overcast?) 6pm
recent drug use: (list also any kind of medication) morning San Pedro (1st time), 2pm Changa (1st time)
last meal: (Time and type) hardly was eating too busy enjoying my entrance to the the tryptamine palace

PARTICIPANT
Gender: (m / f) m
body weight: (in kg pls) 72
known sensitivities: none
history of use: (experienced, novice, first timer - in general and for this specific substance/form) experienced user of drugs, cannabis, hard drugs, first time doing dmt

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): (list all taken substances) Ayauashca )drinkable)
Dose(s): (in the same order as Substances pls, use metric system i.e. g/ mg/ µg) a shot every hour
Method of administration: (dissolved in water, capsuls, insufflated, vaporized...) drink me

EFFECTS
Administration time: T=0:00 (expand this if you used delayed administration for multiple substances or the same substance with multiple doses. Use indices.) 6H30 7h30 8h30 9h30
Duration: (x hours) 6 hours
First effects: see writeup
Peak: (estimate a time range and note as e.g. T=2:00-4:00 for a range of 2 hours beginning 2 hours after administration) see writeup
Come down: sitting round a fire watching vapor trails from my hands
Baseline: next morning 4am

Intensity (overall): (use HRS-like scale i.e. 0-4: 0 = "Not at all;" 1 = "Slightly;" 2 = "Moderately;" 3 = "Quite a bit;" 4 = "Extremely."Pleased 3
Evaluation / notes: see writeup below

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (0-4) 3
Unplesantness: (0-4) 1
Visual Intensity: (0-4) 2

This day will remain etched in my memory forever and what occurred at the end of this long night is something I still cannot explain no matter how much I try. I have accepted that what happened to me sounds illogical or impossible. It was the first time I drank Ayahuascha and I was not prepared for the revelations, but she was so gentle with me, so patiently trying to release this bound soul

I am still deep in the medicine of san pedro, the clouds are swirling above me. I enter the ceremony circle and take my place amongst my blankets and bucket (for purging). We are spaced two arm lengths apart from each other. The facilitators call the beginning of the ceremony, but my eyes are ever pulled upwards, something cosmically strange is happening to the clouds. They swirl and dance around our campfire. I see dragons twirl in the sky. Others notice this too, so its not only I that can see it. "We are very blessed tonight, the sky is calling us, let the ceremony begin" chimes the facilitator. "Each will come up to the altar and take a full drink and return to their place. No talking amongst each other. No trying to assist each other no matter what happens thats what we are here for." I like this way the cermony is designed. But here I am, tears are already streaming down my face as I remember my mother who passed away 6 years ago, how i miss her and how I call for her amongst the tumultous clouds. I dont even notice its my turn. I am alerted to this fact and walk up to the altar.

I drink the brew, I love the taste and immediately I feel the air wobble sideways. I return to my seat and meditate... Around me they chant and sing and do firedancing. I am being pulled into dmt land and my body starts to shake. The visuals are more a feeling but I do sense a bigger picture. Suddenly the ceremony circle has transformed into a ship and I feel as if I am tossed about on rough waves, I swerve and roll as if on a rocking ship. I grab the edge of the wall as if its the deck of a ship and suddenly I am transported to my girlfriends church. I never thought much of religion, but here I have a vision of her pastor casting out demons and I used to think before that this was all an act designed to make the pastor rich but now under Aya I realise that there are demons in me that needs to be cast out and Aya is casting them out. This is quite a revelation for one who previously mocked religous practices like this. I surrender to the sea and suddenly I have turned into a puma in a jungle. I remove my shirt and start grooming myslef licking my hands and rubbing my body. Two more drinks of Aya goes by. Beautiful songs are being sung and I drift with the music sprawled on the floor, fractals dancing in front of me, twilrling kaliedascopes of magical colours, twisting vines and ferns that bloom my mind is awash in images. Another shot of Aya... "See, See See" I hear and I do see, I see myself reborn.. the ceremony ends at 12pm. I wake up and rub ashes from the fire on my forehead. I am the only one who does this and others look at me. Thinking the ceremony is over and my experience is done. We go into the dining hall together and have a meal of soup and bread, its delicious. But I feel as if I still need to purge. Afterwards sitting around the campfire with other attendees I grab a lute and start strumming. I see vapor trails arise from the strings, every move I make has a vapor trail behind it. I am still in the realm of Aya and father san Pedro. I am amazed.

But its not all vapor trails and light. I have to repeatedly go to the toilet throughout the night, cleaning myself out. Suddenly I develop this cough that wont go away. "Jees bro, you gonna cough out your lungs" I keep on coughing up phlegm, cleaning out my lungs, eventually its get too much and I lock myself in the bathroom and start trying to hack out what is irritating me/ I spit quantities of phlegm until suddenly I spit out four pieces of crack cociane......

...... and the voice says " Look, see, what you have been doing to your lungs to your body. This is what is in you"

But it's not possible!! I have not touched crack cocaine for a month in preparation for this ceremony. Of course I knew it was destroying me and this Aya cermeony was my last desperate attempt to free myself from the clutches of cocaine, that was ruining my work, my money my family relationships. But how is this possible? When you smoke crack everything crackles and vaporises and you pull in smoke, these four big peices of rocks cannot be stuck in my throat in my lungs and yet despite all the logic I am staring at four pieces of crack cocaine in the bathroom sink. I turn on the faucet , wash it away and stumble out of the bathroom into the morning chilled air. Looking up at the stars which are densely packed in the sky, I weep, weep for the boy who ravaged his body, for the man who was caught in a vicous cycle, I weep for the years I lost, and for this wonderful freedom, for the benevelonce of the universe, for the absolute inexplicablity of what happened to me.

I was in shock, and I turned over the events over and over again and still cannot make sense. This was not a vision in my mind. This was a physical reality. What magnificent mystery is this universe, and what an amazing teacher plant. The next morning, I have no cravings no thoughts for my weakness, no thought for the sweet escape of smoked cocaine. My body thrums like a new engine and my viens glisten like a newborn. The Aya Manifesto which I read in preparation for this ceremony said that the first experience is the beginning of revelations but i was never prepared for this. Growth and maturity intertwined with impossible visions and a conundrum that I still dont have an answer for. ..

"Dawn, my savior, my sweet sanctuary
Her greatest gift is her silence
You can hear the somersault of first light.
You can hear the screaming echo of time.

Silence shares secrets if you have the courage to listen.
And he who listens earns the right to be heard.
Dawn, my playmate, my sweet accomplice
She always comes back, whether I want her to or not,

Always rescuing me from darkness,
Always delivering the same gift.
The first day of the rest of your life.
Treasure it.

I do." - poem by Jonathan Goldsmith