PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Happy and calm but a bit annoyed over the not so smoothie business
(physical condition) Set: 24h diet and 18h fast; relaxed and a bit tired
Setting (location): At home in the office.
time of day: Around 18:20 (logged in chat) - windy and cloudy, moon and sun both out
recent drug use: Another aya experience some weeks ago.
last meal: Before aya, wheat and yoghurt 10:00. After aya 23:35 yoghurt and bread.

PARTICIPANT
Gender: Male
body weight: 70
known sensitivities: -
history of use: Experienced and in high doses. Though this set the record for aya.

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Mimosa Hostilis root bark & Syrian Rue
Dose(s): 13g - 5g
Method of administration: Brewed in 0.5L water, 15ml apple-cider vinegar 30m x 3, filtered with two egg whites and reduced to 4 cl of syrupy liquid - Was ingested as a strawberry smoothie mixed with milk and thawed fruit.


EFFECTS
Administration time: 18:20 Rue | 18:35 MHRB
Duration: 6 hours
First effects: Euphoria, body load, slightly nauseated, trails.
Peak: T=1:00-4:00
Come down: Around 22:20 - 4 hours after ingestion
Baseline: 00:35 - 6 hours after ingestion

Intensity (overall): 4 - Extreme
Evaluation / notes: This is the second time I experience a migraine after ingesting a high dose aya with rue - I've concluded that it's the result the intensity of the experience as well as food. My first high aya dose later gave me a severe 28h migraine. I ate chili con carne after the experience.

After this second, higher dosed experience I also experience(d) a migraine but of a much smaller magnitude; I ate wheat bread and yoghurt after the experience and I suspect the bread (yeast) being the culprit. I have no doubt in my body that I'd still be exhausted the day after but I do believe that fasting or doing careful dieting of e.g. rice and fresh fish would greatly lessen the discomfort the day after the experience.

The experience itself was extremely taxing at times; so much so I almost passed out.

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (0-4) 4
Unplesantness: (0-4) 2
Visual Intensity: (0-4) 4
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AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 2 - Migraine and tiredness
Afterglow: 4 - Insight


REPORT
I took my rue and waited. I was upset that I took the advice to smoothie my aya because the taste was horrendous and as I initially suspected harder to consume because of the increased volume of liquid.

As the rue was felt I began drinking my mhrb while also cursing the smoothie; every chug made me dry heave and shiver in disgust. I held my nose and downed it. I almost puked right away but managed to keep it down.

I was now cold from the thawed strawberries and really nauseated from the taste and sheer amount of liquid, a total of roughly 60cl.

I went to my comfy space and chatted a bit in the nexus chat. Then the rue kicked in full force with trails and a heavy body load. I felt euphoric and could no longer chat or read well so I got into an incline resting position on my back. It felt nice as I pulled up my sheets to warm me. My wife passed by the room to tell me she was going to rest in the bedroom.

Lying down and I felt a surge rising inside me. It was a burp with a hideous after taste. Another surge began but this time of pure energy jumping through my body. It was as if I could feel my blood coursing through my veins. I was made acutely aware my body.

I leaned toward my PC and turned on Jaime Flores Diaz' Ikaros Etnikas on repeat; it's around 5m long and fantastic. As the shaman started chanting my body became jittery yet stoned. I did a last effort and shut off the lights.

When the lights went out the room suddenly expanded in all directions and I gasped for air. I got the feeling of falling. Like when you slip but everything happens so fast that you never get to react; instead you just bump down on your bum with a surprise or terrified look on your face. My face was most certainly a surprised one.

My entire field of vision was covered in geometric patterns, shapes, fractals, everything.
These OEVS pulsed and vibrated with immense force and from the little darkness that was left in the room shapes began to take form. These shapes emerged from the darkness. From one contrast to another they slowly built in clarity until the room was covered in snakes. Slithering snakes were everywhere. I began slipping, like in a slippery bathtub where you slide down a bit from leaning to heavily on the backside. Another huge gasp.

My body slithered out from beneath the sheets and joined the mass of snakes; in a vision I suddenly saw my own body half resting half gripping the sheets with a face filled with crazy ecstasy. As I watched myself, I kept floating upwards which revealed huge fangs. I was now behind/above the snake watching my body. I felt really broken at this point. I was at so many places at the same time and I felt scales, warmth, pressure and the manic feeling of being torn apart from the inside of my mind.

An alarming feeling of dread struck me deeply as "I" floated higher. Was my body breathing? How could I even breathe being outside of it? Oh my god I'm still under the sheets in full clothing what if I have a heat stroke? The feelings ran amok for some time while I slowly got a grip on myself and let go of everything.

In the time-frame of a lightning striking out from the clouds as did my mind and I was jolted back into my body; It was so forceful that I actually came to while sitting half up-right arms in the air as if I had tried to shield me from something. My pulse was hitting me like a jackhammer and I had trouble breathing. I tried to actively relax my body and sunk back into the comfy area I'd made for myself. Then I remembered the heatstroke and a feeling of panic arose as I threw away the sheets in a swift motion. It was exhausting to do so for my body had the weight of stone. I sighed loudly while making the futile attempt at gathering my senses. It was impossible.

The room danced, the door was immaterial and the walls alive and singing in chorus. That's when I remembered the music, good lord was I relieved when I recognized the shamans voice coming through to me. Tears streamed down my face as I listened but the voice intensified and began echoing throughout the vibrating room. There was already another wave coming on and I felt happy but then immediately tired when I realized that the song had just come to its whispering end. When the chanting stopped the silence was quickly replaced by the sounds of crashing waves but in a really bad quality, like in 8bit audio.

Everything in the room was lit up with sharp neon purple, turquoise, green and gold colors. I remember getting very tired at which point I slouched to the side of my pillows but the visuals wouldn't stop coming. After all, this was all probably within the first hour. I tried getting water once but I couldn't grab the bottle. My hands would disappear into the darkness and with them my entire body. The room would fold itself and I'd suddenly be thrown into "rooms" and spaces far beyond my comprehension. At best I can describe them as massive, endless and complex architectures with impossible intricacies. These would then fold into a new space every time. I would fold with them, or fade out and just be there.

At this point I started bouncing, in and out of spaces and the impressions and visuals began to overwhelm me. I got the g-force feeling and felt like I was about to pass out. When I got "in" there was just everything and when I bounced out, I was gasping for air. When I did get "out" I was always welcomed with a vibrating kaleidoscopic room but after a few bounces I felt like I was falling asleep from exhaustion. I could not keep up with the pace in which things were happening.

I called out to my wife to get in here asap; I needed to see something I KNEW was real to just momentarily stop my mind from slipping further away. She opened the door and the light was fantastic and blinding. Like staring into the sun, I felt the heat of each light hitting my face. Her face was severely distorted and unrecognizable. It moved and morphed and I realized that looking at reality this way was even more taxing. Nothing was as it once was. She did comfort me and her hugging me made a world of difference. I felt her heartbeat and it was sooo relaxing. I thanked her, told her that I loved her and asked her kindly to leave me once more for this was my journey, my undertaking and I sought to see it through that way. She closed the door and left me to my sanity.

Then a massive change happened; I got a surge of energy and the OEVS in the room shrunk immensely and the room sparkled in psychedelia. All of a sudden it was bliss and with great effort, I managed to raise one of my hands, pointing my fingers outward and the light from the sparkles refracted upon it. It was glorious. Tears streamed down my face as I fought to keep my hand up. I heard this thumping, wet and playful bas, zuuumpf...zuuumpf and I went FK YEAH DMT wooooooo. I swung around as much as I could (slight head nods) and had a blast. Everything was awesome and man do I love psychedelia, DMT is the best

This newly found energy quickly ran out however and as my hand started to drop, I smiled and almost felt at peace. Almost. The room became watery in texture and through the sparkling roof an enormous, grim looking face began pushing through. It reminded me a lot of Dormammu from the Dr. Strange movie. Albeit the face in my room was much more sinister and with a sub-bas as its voice it launched at me: DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE ALIVE, YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE THIS MADNESS. YOU'LL ROT INSIDE YOUR MIND FOREVER. The bas was deafening and a tinnitus sound began zapping through my ears and head. At a point I felt like my ear drums were about to pop. I began swinging in and out of realities and I once more felt close to passing out from the intensity of it all. I could feel my eyes rolling around inside my head like pin-balls at the arcade. I saw all sorts of things, felt everything. I was exhausted and at times I thought I was sleeping but then I would jolt out of the trance-like state I was in.

This entity went on and on. It hammered me with insults, warnings and threats. I felt my body starting to strain more and more the longer this went on. I tried blinking, shutting my eyes, hiding under the sheets but there was no escape. I saw through the sheets and it was as if my eyelids were not there at all but rather the same reality I was experiencing lurked as a copy behind them; it was a sickening feeling of overlap whenever I tried closing my eyes.

The entity had started to make hostile waves that rolled toward me and when I tried to evade them a feeling of pressure built on-top of me. Not before long I realized that I had to give in to this thing so I faced it and completely relaxed my mind and body. His waves forced their way down my throat and bloated my body in mere seconds. I panicked for a split-second and pulled up my shirt to see what had happened to me. The feeling was too tangible, something had to be wrong. I looked at my stomach and there was nothing. An empty void, I stared into its abyss and was terrified and hypnotized by the lack of tummy. I reached down to touch the space were my tummy used to be and it suddenly morphed into a bloody, gory and hollow chest cavity. I freaked and immediately pulled back down the shirt. I decided against looking at my own body from that point on.

Thank the all-things for shamans. As the suffocation became a physical feeling. Like I was actually choking on these waves of dark psychedelia being pressed into me the sound of his voice pierced through the torment like the sun cutting through a dark cloud: "Mantaiiiii kunaaaiiii kayadididi... kayadididi" The shaman was back! His voice cleared everything and I could feel how it protected me against these grim entities fighting my entry into their domains. I felt the pressure dissipating and my breathing returning to normal. The room vibrated to his icaro:"mai.. mantanini...Curanderoooos... shamudididi...shamudididi".

I remember thinking: I'm not a religious or a very spiritual person but this is it. The world needs to feel and stop for a moment; the people from which I gain this experience knows what's truly important and we all need to listen and stop fooling ourselves. We're racing to equip our off-spring with the very best so that they can become competitive in the society and we never stop to ask ourselves why? Why not just love our close ones. Share our meals and labors and just live. We need not to chase this dream of endless progression that's ultimately meaningless and even harmful to ourselves.

As the shamans’ voice filled the room once more, I began having visions of great forests, plains and waters. They were breathtaking and turned my eyes into water-canals; the tears flowed freely as one vision after the other took over. I heard my child in the distance, laughing and the voice of innocence resonated to my very core. It was angelic.

Out of nowhere I once more jolted back into my body and the immediate surrounding, the office. I felt this INTENSE pressure building and my mind basically fought its way through the bodily-functions check-list. I need to pee. The urge was unlike something I can ever remember feeling; I was about to piss myself. I remembered the horror of seeing my own body the last time so I did my best to avoid seeing anything. I couldn't bear the thought of what my thing would look like at this point. Damn, my thinking is too slow I will completely wet myself and my wife will walk in and I'll for sure die from embarrassment and shame. I started giggling from the stress of being caught lying on my side wetting myself while drooling and being incoherent. Where would I go? I made a short-lived attempt at getting up, impossible. The body load had me strung out completely. Could I piss in the puke bucket? No way, I'll spill urine all over the office. Then I realized, the water bottle is here somewhere. I reached around in the darkness and found it and was the happiest man alive. I emptied the water into the unused puke bucket and made a glorious rainbow of pee-pee into my late water-bottle. The shaman started singing again and I laughed but tried keeping it down to avoid getting caught in this horrendous situation of nature. It was my best pee ever.

During this infinitely long pee I had to stop peeing to shake the bottle because I had no idea of how full it was and I finally managed to get all of the pee into the bottle and stuff it away. Then a warmth spread along my legs and I was like, no way. I called in my wife and she confirmed, you're tripping balls, there's no pee but here is a water-bottle with no cap should I refill it? I bursted out: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. It's ok, really, just thank you and see you in a bit Hun.

I'm sure I'm forgetting 90% of the trip because of how much I experienced and I remember thinking MANY MANY times that THIS, I will remember, no THIS is even more glorious and then I'd give up and just go with the experience. I couldn't possible remember a trip of this magnitude with a peak for several hours; it was ludicrous and I accepted that around 15 minutes into the trip

So, with a jump I storytelling I ended up in another phase of the experience where I got bombarded with feelings, guilt, shame, joy and love. It is from this part that I retained most because its insight was timeless; don't be selfish, live life before it's over and do everything for your family and children. I cried and laughed and cried and laughed. I swore to never forget the importance of doing, the importance of action and to not just say things that I won't do or don't want to do. If the wife is sitting by herself and asks for company don't answer, just go and be with her for nothing is more important to me than my beloved and our strong companionship.

When I started coming down, I was so used to the OEVS that I got up in one go, went straight to the bathroom and did another glorious pee of purple fractals. I looked into the mirror and they were 99% blackness. I couldn't orient myself in a lit environment because of the trails and OEV’s; it was blinding.

13g mhrb and 5g rue is insane; hence the subject title "The benchmark". I died a few times and a few times I was deathly afraid of having an actual stroke of some kind.

I do not recommend it to anyone; if you ever do a dose this high be sure to have someone close to you that you trust 100% to avoid hurting yourself. It's a bliss having someone check up on you and it makes all the difference.

Did I enjoy this? Yes, but then again, I'm quite the masochist that enjoys taking things to the tipping point. Ayahuasca is the most potent psychedelic, spiritual and life-transcending piece of magic I've ever experienced and it has the potential to be anything and everything. Treat it with utmost respect and do your research.

I've used aya/dmt and other substances for roughly 10 years now but this was the record-holder in all aspects considered.

This experience was however unique in many aspects. For one I've never had it "teach me" things the way it did and prior to this experience it's mainly been a psychedelic show.

DMT is however a powerful substance and its potential cannot and should not ever be understated. The ways in which it can affect your mind is impossible to anticipate and it can be extremely difficult to experience as this experience was in several instances.

With this report I conclude my session and I shall take these teachings I was given to heart. I will therefore no longer partake in adventures such as this. When my children entered this world, I got so much more to live for beyond my own self and I will hence not partake in any more adventures until my children are all adults and can care for themselves. So don't hold your breaths because next report will be in 18 years or more

I will however continue to follow, learn from and help others in this marvelous community.

Safe travels, friends.

That is quite an amount of mimosa you took there, and of rue as well. Amazing.

It was and on and off during the experience I kept hearing "Endlessness was right"


Whenever I might get back this adventure stuff I'll make sure to start over on everything, dosages, mindset etc. Especially a more firm "goal". I'm thinking of going to church and try out different paths and connections in life to see what more meaning I can find for myself.

Sounds like one hell of a ride. I can relate with having my wife ground me with something as simple as a touch on the hand or hug. Glad you made it through!

Definitely a one and done; after this I believe that aya has it purposes but to me, not in these dosages.

Wifes are the best

Very, very glad to be back

Must have been truly something

Something and everything

Incredible write up friend.

Thank you for sharing.

Sad to hear the smoothie recommendation didn't hold true for your experience! Although it sounds like you got what you needed

13g MHRB? You are an absolute weapon

Hehe, to each his own I guess

I got a lot that's for sure