WOW , amazing TR Fran. I quoted the above because each statement represents the exact same pattern of thoughts I had myself while dealing with a particularly difficult and challenging state of existence.

I reached a similar state of depression/anxiety/hppd after accientally consuming ~25 hits of lsd, followed by a 2 day long N2O binge.

It left me BROOOOKEN. I was still hallucinating days/weeks later, and I'd be lucky to achieve 3-4 hrs of sleep per night. Voices in my head, psychic links to other dimensions, interdimensional being interactions(even when not dosing), the whole 9. I was convinced that I have actually been dead for quite some time and this simulation of "life" was a poor attempt at convincing me otherwise.

This lasted 3 months. At a certain point, I lost all hope and began dosing very irresponsibly (any psychedelic I could get my hands on, which was A LOT).
My idea was "fuck it, I'm already constantly tripping, might as well experiment while I'm in this state of feeling lost/stuck"

So I would wake up and eat 10 hits of acid for breakfast, and then chill with a n2o tank for lunch. Then It'd be MXE for dinner, sometimes dmt.

So after 3 months of being spun as spun can get, I met CHANGA.

At first, each changa trip left me very paranoid, like i was being watched by the galactic equivalent of men in black suits. But somewhere around the 4th trip, I could begin to feel my permament/hppd visuals beginning to fade. When I landed back to earth on the 7th changa trip, I literally saw the (permatrip/hppd) visuals turn themselves off. It was indescribable.

I was finally back to earth, thanks to CHANGA.... and I will forever be infinitely grateful for that.

I jus wanted to be "OK" again so bad, and mother changa helped me get there.



Light and Love and Travel Well.

Wow Kuzemaf

Yeah holly balls dude oh my god. Glad you are okay now.

WAT KuzeMaf. That's some next-level craziness, oh my gosh. Good to hear that you're back. I assume you're like a psychedelic Obelix now?

FranLover: I wonder - what comes to mind if you look back at before the trip now? Did it change you? Do you think you learned something or got a "task" out of it? Or maybe I'm asking the wrong questions. Nevermind, then!

Yeah man...I need to get my act straight--that was very clearly the lesson from the trip.

If not for this trip I would have kept the speed pills and would have eaten the rest of them by now.

Also this great feeling that reaching out towards hyperspace is not really smart or good per se, and that waking sober life is where one should focus at and find oneself at home in.

The trip had this idea that an organism should not play with its biology or chemical balance cause there are dangers in that.

Did you get anything similar from your last bad trip too?

Great to hear you got rid of the pills!

Hmm.. I'd say, what I got was similar in some respects, different in others. I mean, yes, I also got the message that I need to straighten out some things. It was recklessness that made me not check the tea beforehand and thus landed me this very strong trip when I wanted a weaker one. It also made me question my motivations for drinking the tea, which were in part the wrong ones.

But I would not say that it was a bad trip for me, and that's all thanks to the sitter. Working with them saved me from a bad trip and landed me a difficult one - I'd have been lost on my own, but with the support, I could do good work.

But I totally agree with that altered states aren't the goal per se for me, too. I still am convinced in that they can be very helpful, but only if the psychedelic compound is taken in a constructive way. And yes, there are dangers - things can go wrong. But if one does their homework, the risk should not be too big.

I think I'll stay clear for probably a year or so - then we'll see if I see that I'm ready to go back. Yet, the experience showed me many painful but important lessons. I hope that you will find this as well.

Hi Brewster. A month has passed since you wrote this last reply. I was wondering where you are at now n_n It seems to me like one month ago something changed in us, and its interesting to see where it will lead us. A flower for you, Buddha to be.

Sometimes the most difficult experiences are the most enriching.

Thank you very much for your interest. I responded in detail here in the original thread.