Hey everyone,
I have yet to BT (I've had my fair share of sub-BT, it's getting a tiny bit frustrating but I learnt patience, so I'm alright) and initially didn't want to ask too many questions, so I could make my journey without too much expectations, but as the BT keeps avoiding me, I want to ask you guys a couple of things:
at each of my last tries, I got sucked in a spiral of geometrical patterns, veils and doors openings, and it was like things are being asked of me, entities are telling me things but I can't do anything, can't answer anything, can't think anything. It's like "I'm there" but as a pure observer who lost the ability to reflect. Is this common? Every time I read someone telling their BT story, they were conscious in the traditional sense (capable of self-reflection). When in the "spiral", I really feel like I lost that ability.
The last two attempts contained a new feeling: during the whole peak-spiral thing, I felt like I had a sitter. I felt like someone was in the room, a friend (not a specific friend). I've never read anyone saying that, so I figured I'd ask.
I think tonight was my most intense experience: during the peak, I felt like "entities" were leaning over me and actually operating on me, touching my body... at some point they were trying to open my mouth, and when I did open it, it felt like air was finally going in, like I was doing apnea before. That happened 3 times during the trip. When I breathed, I heard the air resonating in my throat. Does that ring a bell?
thank you : )
"How Small A Thought It Takes To Fill A Whole Life"
Wittgenstein