Thank you very much for your reply, it's great knowing there are like minded individuals here, although I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, I hope you're doing well
As for the experience that led me to posting here, I'm sure it wasn't much to write home about compared to a proper breakthrough, but it still astounded me
After having that familiar feeling of being pulled out of my body, I completely let myself go and allowed the DMT to take control. I was sitting in front of my TV listening to mediation frequencies, and the pretty equaliser in the video popped right out of the screen into the room with me and the patterns separated into many different layers and surrounded me on all sides. It was of course incredible bright and colourful, perhaps the most visually stunning thing I've ever seen, infinitely detailed and all around me
The room was filled with a thick viscous liquid substance which glistened with faint fractal patterns, this is something I've experienced before on DMT but it was much more pronounced, it felt like I was in a giant vat of liquid, my body was slowed and the substance reacted to my movement
The most incredible part of this experience however, and what I find so unbelievable, was that it felt as though there was a presence behind me, and it had grabbed hold of my head and was gently rotating it around, almost as if it was examining my brain from behind. My head moved with definite intent, but completely separate from my own will. I've had this feeling of a presence being with me on DMT before but this is the first time something physically interacted with me
I honestly find it hard to believe that this interaction was just a hallucination, the most rational thing I can think of is that my subconscious mind gained control of my physical body, but it sure did feel like something other than myself was there with me, and it felt infinitely powerful and divine
What I took away from this experience was that the DMT was first showing me the infinite beauty and love of the universe, in order to instil within me a will to carry on living, as well as examining my brain to perhaps see if I was worthy to fully enter hyperspace, or maybe fiddling around with my brain chemistry to help me in my physical life
Either way I seriously want to explore deeper, I can't even imagine what a breakthrough must be like. This experience gave me so much motivation to work on myself and prove to the DMT that I'm worthy