Hello everyone, I'm new here, but about 1yrs old with DMT experience.
I'm writing this after searching the forum about "extreme" doses, which based on research, seem to be anything above 120 mg. So obviously the first thread i came across was this older one.
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=30134 Now, while im no one to call bullshit on any of what Ive read so far, a lot of the stories i read in there, seemed a bit far fetched and that's only based on what ive learned in the few times Ive broken through so far. I guess honestly i was looking to see if anyone experienced anything similar to my first time and at such a huge dose(my following breaks were only at aroud 50-70mg, and while all of them have been unique, none quite like this, especially the waiting room space, or lack thereof) Hear me out...
My first time felt like not an NDE, but more of an MDE(-modeled- death experience)
So i was casually looking for it for about 10 years, and the person i got it from has ALOT of experience with psychedelics and being able to obtain them. We lost touch for a while, but when we reconnected he informed me that being able to get it, wasn't going to be an issue. he lives some distance away, so communicating about it was done over the phone after i received it.
Anyway, on with it.
So upon getting it, i had only done so much research into it, and i just thought i was getting "a strong psychedelic". i was foolish, as i should've done ALOT more homework before breaking my cherry. The person who spotted me on my first time out, was only going off a small amount of knowledge too, and they were more or less just there because i needed someone to hold the tools while i took 3 hits. Now prior to this, I asked my friend who sent me some how i needed to load the bulb. He told me just to "pour the whole thing in the pipe." Later id find out that he said this, because in his experience, with people wanting to try it for the first time, they would often "dip their toe" but then get scared and waste it.Based on my carelessly loose knowledge at the time, i thought you couldn't do more then 3 hits regardless of what was in the pipe. i had no idea how dose dependent DMT was until later on, or of the amount i actually had the first time.
So he said he figured with the amount he gave me, even if i only took one solid hit, i would still have an experience. He said he honestly wasn't expecting me to go through with the whole 3 hit protocol.
Well i did.
So im writing this because im curious if anyone else experienced something similar.
200mgs ...
Hit 1- I didn't notice much, maybe a slight shift in color in the room.
Hit 2- Everything vibrated violently for just a moment right before everything seemed to "pop out" like an exploding ikea diagram.
Hit 3- Was merely a slight drag, before everything exploded into bright yellow light, but what followed immediately after was the only time Ive had this happen. (But Ive not done a dose that high since)
After the explosion of light, the room came immediately back into view as i felt hard back onto my bed. i remember thinking that this wasn't right, and that I had officially fucked up. Like all the way up. Somehow i just knew i was dead, and that i had just made a terrible mistake. I remember having a brief thought that "i guess this is where and how it ends for me". I don't exactly know how long this was but if i had to guess it couldn't have been more than 5 or 10 seconds. But that was all i would come to experience as a "waiting room". The room started to fade into this reddish black, and every thought i fought to have to try and make sense of this seemed to vibrate right off and away from what was happening, if that makes any sense at all.
I then shot out into what i could only describe as the deepest regions of space. In every direction that i "looked", there just seemed to be more and more detailed regions of the cosmos. There was no crackling or high pitched ringing. Only what started as a sound similar to the YipYips on Sesame Street, and turned into this indescribable modulating roar. There was no "Me" anymore, only raw energy, guided not by entities, but something much much larger and more powerful, something that i couldn't direct see, only feel as it had control over the whole ride. Ive learned that setting your intentions is very important with DMT, and the day i did it, i only knew i was "getting on this ride", so a ride is what i got. I would guess my trip through the cosmos was set around my ever present curiosities surrounding the universe.
As i was coming out, that's when i sensed more of an obvious presence, but only there long enough to sort of reassure me that i was totally ok. It did so by sort of giving me this "fly-by" just outside of this reality, where i could see thought to it from outside this sort of pink, hexagon veil, at which time i was swinging around to see my spotter sitting on the bed looking down at my body a bit concerned. I could only see my feet, but not my upper half. im guessing this because by the time i noticed that i was already halfway past her and, and eh, reality again. Despite the look on her face, i still felt a sense of reassurance. but it was also by now that i was getting back to an actual, "I"/Me. It wasnt long after this that i remember it felt like it was starting to set me back down. I said "holy shit how long was that??!?!" She said, " i dunno about 15mins i guess?" "Are you back??" The strange thing was how it felt and very much sounded like she was talking to me from the bottom of a ladder, despite being right next to me on the bed. i then remember having what felt like another really short but darkly colored journey where i blacked out in laughter for what wasn't more then 2 mins, before coming back to, laughing still. Then as it wore off, it would "pulse" with each giggle i let out, as it set me gently back down, and the room seemed to put itself back together. Later on in the evening i woke up to my own laughter at about 1am, only to fall right back to sleep. In the most amazing ways nothing has been the same since, and Ive devoted nearly everyday to learning more about this precious molecule. I haven't been this involved or enamored by something since i first started producing music when i was a kid, and Ive been doing that now for over 25 years.
Anyway, that's the story of my first breakthrough and cosmic baptism. The "not waiting room/dead screen" about that first journey is what really intrigued me the most. my thoughts are maybe at such a high dose, your brain becomes ultra saturated in it, so your head sort of does a control-alt-delete for a second, hence giving this VERY realistic impression that you've just died(?)
Any thoughts?