For the longest time I've been under the assumption that taking psychedelics was a kind of surrender of my free will to another force. An "intoxication," if you will.

But, the more I've done psychedelics, the more I've realized the opposite is the case. When I do psychedelics, I feel *more* in control, *more* able to decide how to act in response to things. I am less reactive, more able to set boundaries, which also goes against the common notion that psychedelics make you more "vulnerable" to people and emotions.

Sure, I've cried on Ayahuasca, bawled uncontrollably after iboga, felt the pain of others on Peyote. But does that mean I was burdened with their emotions? No. If anything, I felt empowered, informed, and connected.

Well stated.

While in the throes of an experience, I am vulnerable and I do surrender, but experience more of what you've said after.

I think we become more sensitive to things from psychedelic use, but not in the negative sense. Rather, it seems to be an expanding of the capacity and ability to be able to sense, and that may extend to sensing aside from our senses.

We sacrifice ourselves (or maybe sometimes just parts) for the experience to reap the rewards of inner peace and control of ourselves.

Wonderful observation.

One love

I use psychedelics, especially pharmahuasca to specifically train my will. It's like learning to steer a sailboat. You have to become sensitive to the wind and the waters. You need to learn the amount and direction of force you use. When you learn, you can enjoy the ride and the harmony with the elements pushing your boat forward.

The practice continues in everyday life. If you are not willing to take the lessons with you, proceeding in the psychedelic world will become difficult.

The most important practical exercise and tool I've found is how to learn to calm yourself through exhalation. When you relieve yourself of stress and anxiety you can do better decisions.

I suppose the way you can think of it is, the psychedelic experience is willingly relinquishing the illusion of control. Once you have no expectation of being able to control everything, you live life in a totally different way. When you know the only thing you can really decide is how you react, you tend to take a bit more care.

I think psychedelics have made me a lot more stoic as well... but importantly not numb (numbness tends to be mistaken for stoicism). On the inside I feel a lot more in touch with myself.

This is a good point. Stoicism can be interpreted either as numbness or as acceptance. You can retain your balance by numbing your emotions but true mastery is about letting your emotions flow freely and still keeping your core solid.

I concur with you both. For me, stoicism isn't separate from emotion, but allows my core self to be indifferent to the layers with emotive experience. It feels it, accepts it, and usually finds a productive way to use it. Always a work in progress.

One love

You guys get it.