Below I share a sample from my book of the first time I smoked DMT. This occurred when I was 18 in the upstairs attic of my buddy Slater's House, along with my friend Louis who was celebrating his birthday smoking DMT. There were multiple strangers in this group setting of 7. I was also on a light dose of DXM at the time (180mg). If you would like a full copy of the story, let me know and I'll happily offer a PDF-
Anyway, here's a sample from Chapter 11 of "The Patterns of Existence"
I could not wait to ask Louis what it was like because
he appeared to be on another planet. Then the DMT
man turned to where I was on the floor, and after repacking
the pipe, handed it my direction. I thought it was to
be longer before my turn but the time seemed to be now.
Louis was still tripping; I had not shared a word with him.
My chest began to feel like my legs after a long run, as if a
growing pool of lactic acid was surging through it.
“You seem weary,” he said, perfectly observing my
emotional state. “Do you not want to do it?”
I thought for a second, figuring the nerves were
normal, and at that moment I decided I was smoking
DMT tonight. When else would I ever get an opportunity?
Everything before had just been an idea. This was where the
choice was made.
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“No, I’m ready.” I paused. “When should I take
the hit?”
“When you see a little trickle of vapor in the pipe,
take it and hold it in.” I held the glass tube in my hand and
moved it back and forth over the flame he was holding. The
room was quiet and I felt people’s eyes on me. The feeling
in my chest grew exponentially by the second, and my heart
pounded. Then the vapor appeared and it was time. I brought
my lips to the pipe and took one big inhale. The entire room
was still, and I handed him the pipe before lying down on my
back and staring up at a sublime blacklight poster.
The intensity of the drug came on immediately. The
world around me seemed to vibrate, and the ceiling and
poster had pronounced clear edges and visual acuity. The
only thing I could compare it to was the come-up stage of
an LSD trip. The poster grew more vibrant and colorful
while the sublime sun throbbed towards me, and then I
noticed some special words on the poster: “Just let the lovin’
take hold.” I smiled, and it felt like my entire body was on
the brink of falling asleep, almost like I was floating. A purple
and reddish hue began to develop around my peripherals,
and I could not help but drawl out, “I can’t believe this
is DMT! I can’t believe this is DMT! It feels so familiar.”
The DMT man expressed gladness in the positivity
of my moment, but then a cackling laughter assaulted my
ears. It was Louis experiencing some stage of the trip, and I
caught a glimpse of him. His face was red and scrunched and
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his expression was sinister. Frightened, I quickly sat up from
the floor and looked at the man who had given me the hit.
“How long does this last?!” I asked frantically.
“Just five minutes man, just five minutes.” I looked
around the room in a panic until I made eye contact with
Jayce who said: “It’s alright man, it’s okay.” Something
about his demeanor calmed me and I looked at him for
another few seconds unnervingly and said “Yeah?”
“Yeah, just relax man. Just relax.” I had only known
this guy for a little over an hour, but his vibe was peaceful
and reassuring. He reminded me of my long-time friend
Dakota, and though I was still a bit anxious, I lay back
down to look at the poster. With Louis’s disheartening
laughter over and a reassurance that the trip would not
last long, I let myself slide back in. In an instant, all of the
tightness and sensation of lactic acid in my chest disappeared
and was replaced by a profound sense of peace. Then,
it dawned on me. Love is the key.
I sat up once again and began quickly texting my
girlfriend how much I loved her, and how happy I was to be
loved. My heart fluttered and my soul rested easy in acceptance
of being in love. Finally, the doubt and worry I had
carried with me in the past months was extinguished. Love
was all that I needed, and I could not help but smile and
hold close to my heart this feeling.
Louis had mostly come down and was sharing his
experience, while I kept texting my love and swooning to
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the feeling. Then, Louis and Slater both looked at me and
asked how my trip had been. I shared how much love I felt
and how absolutely incredible the feeling was. They both
smiled and sincerely expressed how happy they were for
me, and the entire room seemed to be filled with love. I did
want to see what else DMT held, and I looked to the man
who had given it to me and asked, “Can we do more?”
“No, you’ve got a tolerance to it now. You have to
wait until another day.” My curiosity was there, but I was
not disappointed, only happy to share with everyone the
great love I felt, and how much truth the saying “Love is all
we got” holds.