So this is like round #3 for me, I believe. This time I tried delaying 5 min between substances, and I changed the dosages around a bit. Round #2 was 120mg harmalas and 50mg DMT, and since I felt pretty ill (but not in a particularly bad way), I decided to back off the harmalas and up the DMT. So this time it was 100mg Harmalas and 60mg DMT, both swallowed with OJ, separated by 10 min in order to try and maximize DMT efficacy.

Started off with stomach pain/light nausea from Harmalas. Was concerned I'd puke before the DMT was absorbed, but all pain/nausea disappeared as soon as DMT started showing up. This trip was pure bliss, and I learned A LOT. I think the dosages were about perfect, though I want to try 70mg DMT next time to see where this all goes, because holy cow just bumping up 10mg from last time was crazy awesome.

Some of this is hard to describe using language, since language was invented with what I'm about to say being considered impossible. OK, here goes...

I once again lost all sense of self. But this time, it was even more so. Not just the memories, the personality, the relationships, all of that... no, this time I lost sense of physical presence. Which was a bit odd, to say the least. At the peak, I guess I reflexively went to scratch my scalp and it felt really weird. Like "whoa, hair is really strange. Is this my scalp?" That level of weird.

From that point I started to question everything. And I mean everything. And what I basically came up with was the following: Nothing is real except consciousness. Everything that we perceive is a sensation. A sensation that appears in consciousness. So, the body is a perceived sensation. The room is as well. The entire universe is a bundle of sensations. And sensations themselves, are a part of consciousness.

Along with that, I guess I answered some questions I had. DMT doesn't appear to do anything at all, really. DMT is the excuse our consciousness uses to try and remember bits and pieces of what we really are. Without the DMT escape pod, the reality we have build for ourselves is so convincing that we don't suspect otherwise. This apparently is for our own entertainment. Even the bad stuff, I now realize. The limited body and reality we build for ourselves is created by us in order for us to eventually break free and realize what we are. Because that realization is the highest high one can ever dream of having. This certainly counts as the happiest I can ever remember being. Just pure happiness. Not wanting anything, not desiring anything. No fear, no worries. Just the simple observation that I control everything, even if I don't want to believe it during my "normal" daily life. Along with that, we are apparently eternal. The body dies, but it was just a perceived sensation. The perceiver does not die. And that is a rather humbling thought.

I don't remember crying, but my pillow was drenched in tears (of ecstasy, I guess). I had a personal favorites playlist on in my earbuds and every song seemed like the perfect song at the perfect time. I was hard core jamming out in my consciousness and it felt absolutely amazing. Every cell in my body seemed alive and was dancing to the tunes. But then I wondered if it was really my cells that were dancing, and then just like that, they weren't my cells. They were just blooms of energy. And I could control them somewhat. Which was amazing.

So, please don't take this the wrong way, but I think we tend to look at the visuals of DMT the wrong way. There aren't external entities showing up. The entities are us, they are creations of our own unlimited consciousness. We look at our creations and we marvel at them and maybe fear them sometimes, but it's just our own "minds" fabricating them. I find on DMT that I can control what I see, magnificent as it all is. This is huge for me, because now I'm no longer waiting for something to show up and do something.

I will say my heart, for a short period of time, was beating REALLY strongly, which I've read others mention as well. I was worried, but the temporary time out blood pressure check was elevated, but fine. It went away -- I suppose, because I decided so (so weird).

Anyways, that was a lot. I told myself to remember as much as I could, because this was a life changing realization. Gonna take a few weeks to reintegrate, lots to consider. All in all, the trip took 3.5-4 hours, and it was was the happiest I've ever been, if my memory is to be trusted (which I'm not so sure of anymore). Try pharma if you haven't already, it beats the absolute pants off straight vaping IMO.

Cheers!