To start with, I feel it is important to share my setup for e mesh as I have had some issues getting it just right and I know a lot of others have as well. I am currently using an Aegis Solo with Wotofo Profile 1.5. I have the original Profile as well and both work just fine. I'm using 3cm of Vandy Vape #200 ss316 mesh and my settings are the same as Minty_Love and Adeptus Psychonautica (TC-SS mode, 204c, 35w). What finally started working for me consistently is prefiring the vape for one second before inhaling, so when I am ready to take my hit, I hit and hold the fire button and count 1 Mississippi and then start inhaling.
I went camping this weekend after some concerning news from a CT scan. It was a trip we had planned for weeks but was sorely needed after the week I had. On Saturday I took 3 different doses. One was a small dose, maybe 15mg. The next was a 25mg dose and was super enjoyable as all of my sub-BT doses are. I had decided I wasn't going to go for the breakthough because there was a generator running and someone was listening to some garbage music that I didn't want to distract me... lol as if that would actually matter.
It was about 5pm and the sun was starting to go down but there was still plenty of light hitting the tops of the trees. It hit me. I was going to do it. I grabbed my stash, loaded up about 35mg, went behind the tent so I could stare into the forest while blasting off.
It was really difficult to describe some parts but I will copy/paste what I wrote to my like-minded friend after the experience.
Not three seconds after I hit, everything goes from wavy to "holy crap I’m in another dimension". Eyes wide open. It had all turned into this still, kaleidoscope forest that a second later opens up like a giant venus fly trap and swallows me up.
I’m floating in the cosmos with my entity and she says “are you ready?” ... “there it goes”. And all of a sudden I feel this buzz. It was like pure white energy melting me away from my toes up. It was was a vibration that was worse than getting teeth drilled but the pain was like a split second followed my nothingness, and this was happening to my entire body, layer by layer, from my toes to my head like a laser was simply erasing me.
As I feel this energy consuming me and dissolving me, I see the entire universe as I know it all being sucked away like a drain. This happened up until I couldn’t feel anything and I was just barely hanging on to whatever I thought I may have been just so I could observe until there was nothing but a circle. It was all bright, flat white, empty space with a massive, thin, black, perfect circle.
Then it was as if she said, “and now for that last bit of it” and pop.
That pop was an explosion of information as if I’m flying through the akashic records, absorbing everything that passed by. Never mind my whole life flashing before my eyes. It felt as though ALL of my past lives were flashing before my eyes.
I’m seeing or feeling or absorbing all of this data and at one point I think “how did I get here? Where is here? Who am I? Oh this place looks familiar”. I was back in my favorite domain, the joyful yellow domain, and my entity was sort of pulling back the veil/filter so she could ask me if I’m okay. It was then that I realized my hands were painfully cold. Evidently during the first phase of my breakthrough, the "oh my god what have I done" phase, I ended up putting my hands between my knees and interlocked my fingers. It was already getting cold outside and I was also cutting off the circulation because I was squeezing them so hard. I moved my hands up under my arms to warm them. Unlocking my fingers felt like untangling snakes. It was so weird. Then she says “okay, good.” And then boom another blast through the cosmos.
As I rode out the wave of incomprehensible geometry and the flood of "memories", it began to shift and morph into that familiar come down hyper colored goo phase but it was sooooooo intense and just as vivid as if I was in the peak of a sub breakthrough dose. I could hear all of existence groaning and bellowing in this low, powerful rumble, like the growl and moan of a growing universe.
I opened my eyes and I could see all the geometry of the forest. I could hear the universe humming, could feel life and love.
I cried.
The most incredible part of this experience was how my entity literally stopped the ride, just so I could check on my body, and then once we both knew I was okay, it was back to hyperspace. I have nothing but love, respect, and trust for this medicine and am excited to see where else it takes me.
The ego death is the one thing that I wanted more than anything, and all of the failed attempts at breakthrough were really challenging, even stirring up my own rejection wounds whenever I thought I was shut out. I wasn't shut out. I just hadn't gotten the vape right. Now it's perfect and I am filled to the brim with wonder, awe, humility, gratitude, love, peace, and everything else I never really realized this stuff was truly capable of.
Trust the medicine.
Thank you for reading.
Love and light to you.