Hello,


I’m not going to go into my past too much besides my use of psychedelic drugs, I’ve used Marijuana, Mushrooms, Salvia, (tried mescaline unsuccessfully), and now DMT. I’ve also used other’s not specifically in that class that have given me hallucinations including , DXM, Promethazine, Diphenhydramine, and probably others not coming to my mind right now. I am highly sensitive to psychedelics since I quit smoking marijuana daily about 8 years ago. Now 1 large hit puts me in the bed with intense CEV’s and paranoia. I take about 2-3 hits per year. Since my quitting of marijauana I have developed an addiction/abuse of alcohol. The longest I’ve gone is 44 days without drinking with 2 or 3 other abstinence periods lasting about a month. I have drank pretty much every day besides those periods for the past 8 years btw I am 29 years old.

Any way I’ve wanted to try Ayahuasca since I first learned about it way back when I was an adolescent browsing erowid maybe 14 years old but never had the opportunity. Last month sometime I was out with some friends and Ayahuasca had entered my mind again. Days later I re-researched and decided I didn’t really feel like purging but still wanted the experience and decided I would try smoking DMT and pharmahuasca instead. So I took the plunge and got some lab equipment that I’ve always wanted and a kilo of MHRB.

My first 100g extraction was pitiful and yielded about 300mg of yellow wax with some white crystals. I used heptane as my solvent. This was mostly due to my impatience. I rushed the whole process doing only one pull just wanting to get something to try and see if my bark was legit. The two times I have vaporized DMT have been from this extraction.

My first DMT hit I had loaded 15mg(not all made it on) onto the vaporizer. I had 4 beers in me and just wanted to try it to make sure it was DMT again just wanting to make sure my MHRB source was legit. I had done enough research that I should have known better but alcohol makes you stupid so you know. I took the hit at my computer with a dragon ball super episode playing and was immediately like oh shit I should probably go lay down. So I ran over to my bed layed down and blew out the hit.

In bed I start to hear the carrier wave and this sense of dread and the intensity of what I just did as the carrier wave intensifies. I get a sense of I'm going to a place I’ve been to before but cannot remember ever being there. At some point my mind tells me close your eyes but it was more of a command than a suggestion that I immediately close my eyes. I can’t remember the visuals much but I do remember at this point getting scared and wanting to go back. I fought way too hard and the damn dragon ball super episode I never stopped I could hear occasionally in the background was pissing me and the DMT off. So it shipped me back to my body. I relaxed, enjoyed the OEV’s on my ceiling for a few minutes, and was back to normal.

I did not drink the next day or the day after with no desire to. I did not go about this trying to quit drinking; it was not my intention at all. But nonetheless It made me quit. As I contemplated the trip and realized the error of my way I was building the courage to try it again. So on the second day of not drinking or 2 am of the third day really I finally built the courage to try it again.

My second hit I weighed out 16mg and was much more careful about loading the vape making sure to melt it in and get every bit on there. I layed in bed, played an Ikaro on loop, did some breathing exercises and took the hit. This time I immediately closed my eyes and was in the dark. The beginning I was greeted with a booming voice “YOU WILL NEVER REMEMBER ANY OF THIS!”. I was then put in a red triangle or pyramid like area with 100’s of intense firework type fractals exploding in my face and the booming voice says “THIS IS YOUR MIND ON DRUG’S!”. It continues like this for a little bit torturing me with the idea that this is all there is here for you. A personal hell that you’ll keep coming back to you addicted little fuck.

While that shook me to the core once I realized that even if that was all there was for me it was still pretty amazing. I relaxed and it gave up trying to torture me and set me free to continue the rest of the journey peacefully. I ended up in the swirling fractals of indescribable amazingness. Everything was trying face fuck me which was weird but I was okay with it. Everything was laughing at the giant cosmic joke which was explained to me and I came down back to this reality laughing and smiling. I enjoyed the few minutes of OEV’s on my ceiling again especially noticing how everything centered on my fire alarm as it was an eye.

Once back to normal I thought holy shit did I just break though on such a relatively small dose? In retrospect I don’t think I did, I don’t remember a door or anything but some say you don’t always see it. Nor did I experience any entities. I've got a 28mg dose from my second batch weighed out for next time I don’t know when I’ll take it because I’m still drinking and I know for a fact that if I don’t quit drinking for at least 30 days before I do it and integrate what it taught me in my personal hell I’m going to be going in for a very bad time.

My second extraction was much better. I yielded 1.859 grams from 100g of MHRB of fluffy yellow crystals/powder. I used an ultrasonic bath to break down the cell walls and did 6 pulls with heptane this time around. I took .5 grams of that and crystalized it got a yellow crystal with a white core weighing about .4 grams and a few other small pure white crystals.

All in all it was a difficult but good experience, everything I hoped for and more, I’m both scared and thrilled to journey again. I have definitely learned not to treat it lightly no amount of reading will truly prepare you for the intensity of the experience. I like to think I took it well at least the second time around lol by acknowledging that even the worst was just a lesson to make me better. I want to thank this community for the insight and knowledge that helped me prepare for this journey. Without it the experience would have most likely been much more terrifying. You all are awesome and I wish you the best in your journeys.

Congratulations on your first steps! I suggest taking some harmalas (like syrian rue) to soften the trip. I believe that the vivid images and the trickster entities you encounter are mainly a distraction and if you keep your mind clear and retain your intention to go through, you can reach a spiritual level where there is space for insight and growth. If you're physically or mentally worn out, it's difficult to keep sufficient determination and the world may become taunting.

You could try listening to positive suggestions while taking the dose. Somebody here recommended this one and I've been enjoying it: https://youtu.be/6tF14GnCJqk At the moment, though, even the tape itself feels too intense for me 🙂

You can reduce the nausea by the way by applying lemon essential oil on your skin. It's a 5-HT3 antagonist, the serotonin receptor responsible for the nausea reaction. The oral-dmt (with maoi) is worth experiencing. The nausea is tolerable especially the first time when there is so much else to pay attention to.

Good luck keeping the alcohol down! I managed to cut my own use by switching first to low alcohol beer and then non-alc beer to break the habit. Doing anything that distracts from the cravings is much easier than focusing on "not drinking".