They say that breaking through is like having an orgasm: when it happens, there’s no doubt you had one. Well, that’s how I feel right now, even though my experience is not so similar to what I read here.
Some context:
Most of the time, I use the e-mesh technique. I had just changed my set-up and believed it would be more efficient so I was excited.
I left Paris to go to my parents’ house in Normandie. I love the place, love the feel of nature it provides. This is where I had my most significant LSD experiences. I’ve never done DMT outside of my apartment. But this year, it wasn’t gonna be that easy/simple for me to do acid at their place so I thought: « why don’t you pack some spice and try it outside? »
Before I left I wondered what I go with, FB or changa. I went for both!
So, as my parents left the house to get dinner with friends, I decided I was gonna sit in the garden and do 25mg of FB DMT, my regular « trying to breakthrough on a new set up » dose…
I don’t know what happened with my last tweaking but it failed miserably. Generally, I’d say I take 90% of it in one toke. I’m aiming at inhaling the whole thing, obviously. This time, the air wasn’t getting hot enough, and so, it took FOUR tokes to inhale the 25mg. Suffice to say, this wasn’t even close to a sub-BT.
But, in a sense, it was nice, cause this light experience was pretty close to some parts of my acid trips in this garden. I actually got to see the trees and the grass exactly like I did on LSD. It was a pretty heart-warming reunion. I was too lazy to tweak the device again so I thought « fuck it, let’s smoke some changa then ». But at that time, I had given up on breaking through. So I smoked a little bit: I’d say, about 70mg of 40% changa. Had a beautiful beautiful trip, feeling my consciousness expanding, it was very easy and moving. I thought « damn, I’ve never thought of mini-dosing changa, but this is like an amazing LSD experience, without all that’s complicated with acid (the background anxiety, the fatigue…) ». It was very nice. So it got me confident and I went for another little bowl: 65mg of 55% changa + caapi.
This got pretty intense, I fixated on the garden in front of me and felt a connection to nature I had never experienced before. I thought « damn, this is god, this is its manifestation ». I also thought « this is feline ». And when I got back down, the cat got there. I thought « oh yeah, it is a feline territory! ». I was smoking all that in 2 or 3 tokes and having the best time, tripping very high, while calm and happy, connected to earth. Absolutely brillant.
So I went back and put another bowl of 40% changa with caapi. Can’t tell you the dose, at that point, I was too high to really pay attention. It doesn’t matter tho, cause I can tell you I didn’t finish it anyway. I was just playing around. Getting high for the sake of getting high.
But, yeah, as the visions, way more intense, were coming, and the hallucinations too (my cat split herself into two), and as eyes were appearing everywhere, curtains of shapes becoming more intense, something above my heard « grabbed my mind » and make me look « there », in front of me. I couldn’t move, couldn't look anywhere else, couldn’t think really. I was under a dome and I was shown another world, like, there is this all other reality right here, right where we live, but hidden from it. I knew I was somewhere else but I knew it was here.
There wasn’t any entities and I didn’t directly communicate with « anyone » as I’ve read here and there but it was so moving that I actually burst into tears saying « thank you, thank you for showing me this ». It's like I was shown were "they" work, or, more accurately, where they "make the universe work". I cried and laughed and cried as I was going back down. It really was like I was shown the most glorious place of all, the most beautiful thing, and even more affecting, I was discovering that this supra-reality is just all around us all the time. I cried and cried and thought « I’d never be the same again ».
And here I am, happy, full of questions and blurry memories. Can’t really grasp what I saw. But I know it’s there. It wasn’t so much « hyperspace » than « underworld » or « parallel dimension ». But, honestly, what’s the difference? ahaha! I feel like I
know there's an afterlife.
Well, this was AMAZING.
Love you all,
Paul
"How Small A Thought It Takes To Fill A Whole Life"
Wittgenstein