Hey all,
I'm a long-time lurker in various corners of the psychonaut scene. I’m a long time member of shroomery but have not been active much in about the last 10 years. Unfortunately I’m not a neuroscientist, biochemist etc but I have a related technical background and enough understanding to follow a lot of the papers I read in these fields. My primary long-standing interest in the mind is perception and cognitive functions.
I’ve got a weird, and sometimes heavy-going, backstory that lead me into exploring the depths on the mind with deep mediation when I was only 17 under the guidance of some expert martial arts masters. As weird as it sounds my first ‘trips’ were actually meditation, full somatic and even some weird visuals where I got to states that there where I was decoupled from both my body and somehow consciousness…
It’s hard to explain really; its 20 years ago now so the memories have been somewhat distilled and abstracted. Things I will never forget though were experiences where it felt like my body has dissolved into waves of energy and ceased to exist – different but similar to higher states I have reach on psychedelics. It was an intense strange experience at 18 years old and without drugs!
Anyway, years later I hit similar states using mushrooms and it somehow felt like a shortcut to the same ‘place’. I did a lot of exploration and guided quite a few people close to me that found their own why to psychedelics but had really tried psychonaut territory.
I wouldn’t say I’m at all seasoned or experienced but I have pushed my own boundaries in various ways quite a few times; enough to be a novice maybe. Really my interest in psychedelics comes from an interest in neuroscience that I have been into since I was a young child (fortunate to have quite a few doctors etc as family friends).
I find myself returning to these tools after a 10 year hiatus and many challenges in life, not least of all the loss of several close friends that my experience and research (now more widely circulated than 20 years ago) by programs like MAPS could probably have helped immensely. (for anyone that way inclined I seriously encourage starting to read through some of the published work on MAPS, especially some of older late 60s era etc its incredible the potential applications of these compounds).
I’ve only had DMT a few times and really never pushed high enough doses for full ‘ego death’ but I’m interested in exploring new territory when its available to me. I’m looking for personal growth in a quasi intellectual way and some more spiritual type challenges to loosen some of the restraint imposed by my ego. This more so than say classical healing from trauma but who knows what floats to the surface!
I’m truly happy for the information I have seen made available on websites like this and my heart was very much warmed to see places like nexus, shroomery and erowid still alive and well.
Peace out everyone, keep up the good work and hopefully I can make a positive contribution to this important work and valuable gift.
~ CYBERNAUT
