Third LSD journey.
7pm: drank some passion flower tea.
8pm: smoked 1 small pinch of passion flowers in a bong.
8.30pm: ingested 1.5 blotter.
I went to bed for 1 hour rest/ mediation as I’ve been up early this morning.
8:45pm: The jurney started very abrubtly and hard and really it took me by surprise, full on visionary experience. The whole bedroom was colourful with fractal patterns. I laid in the bed for an hour or more and just watched the beautiful colours around me.
I went out to the living room and spoke to my partner and things got more “normal” more like the first 2 LSD journeys with small changes in colours and lines was somewhat blurry. We spoke about life and things until she went to bed at 12:30am. It was a really good talk, we’ve been a couple for over 10 years and we cried and laughed and had a really nice time.
I decided to continue my journey in the living room in the dark with just some weak lights from a mosquito lamp, and some other small lights from the hifi equipment. It felt like it had peaked and I was coming down, not much visuals left. I was physical tired and I felt like I wanted to go to sleep, but my head/thoughts was racing, at 1am I decided to smoke some marijuana with low THC content. It calmed my thoughts down and I put my headphones on with Carbon based lifeforms.
I was a little bit disappointed with this journey as I wanted more this time with the higher dose, I more and stronger visuals than the 2 first journeys. I started to think and play with the thought that the brain doesn’t see anything, it is just interpreting signals that the eye is sending to it, if I can change what my brain sees from the inside, I should be able to trick the brain into seeing something else. I started to look at my hand. I had some small visuals left and could see some weak tribals growing up my hand. I tried very hard to force my brain to change my hands colour and shape, my fingers started to disappear from the top and down, I could if I focused really really hard make my hand take different shapes and colours. And after I while I didn’t need to tell my brain to change my hand, I could just do it in an instant.
I was curious if I could change something in the room, could I move a chair?
I tried very hard for a long time and finally the chair moved upwards slightly, I was mentally exhausted, and I let it come down again as soon as it hit the floor the whole room exploded in colours and shapes in an instant. It was like something happened with my brain when it/I realised it/I could move a big object. I could then change everything around me into everything just thinking about it, I didn’t need to focus hard, I didn’t need to think “change” I just changed things.
It was an amazing feeling of power, the room was like a fairy tale. I was curious and tried to change the plants around me and I could make them grow, change shape and die, and I could bring them back to life again. I relaxed and let my thoughts and mind wonder and my thoughts and conscious was painted/written/ played like a movie in front of me on the wall. This experience went on back and forth for me like this, I was changing things around me, then when I relaxed and let my mind wonder it was playing up on the wall like a movie.
I was curious if I could create a person or a being and suddenly a noticed a dark shadow in the corner of my left eye, something was standing there, it was there 1 second, next second it was gone. I looked at the dining table in the middle of the room and suddenly 4 dark beings appeared on the 4 chairs around the table, the atmosphere started to get dark and I felt uncomfortable but still curious. They disappeared and 2 robot like beings appeared on 2 chairs and they were watching me, but I felt like they were being watched by someone or something else too. I could see the beings but I could also feel their presence and it scared me a little bit.
I stood up and I felt really ill and nauseous, I realised that I’ve forgotten to eat “low blood sugar” so I had some mct fats, electrolytes and a big meal replacement protein/carb drink and went back to the sofa. I started to feel better so I continued to change things and and play around with objects in the room.
I started to get very mentally tired so I said to my brain/the substance “ show me what you got” “ throw me a curveball” and boom I just disappeared into something. In could not hear the music from my headphones anymore. I wasn’t in the room any more, I was nothing, but I was everything. I could not feel anything, I could not plan or think about the future, I had no memory it was amazing, I wasn’t scared because I could not think or feel, I cannot explain what happened to me? I have no idea how long time I was gone. I could see myself or feel myself floating around in something colourful, but I could not see or feel?!?!
When I “came back” to the room I was tired and drained, physically and mentally. I went to the kitchen for som juice and fruits. I went back to the sofa and just let my mind wonder and I listen to the music, objects in the room was moving with the music, I pointed my hands at objects and I could orchestra the whole room with my mind.
It was now 5:28am and I still had a full on experience, it didn’t stop until I finally had 2 bags of camomile tea and went to sleep at 11:30am, when I woke up I thought I’ve slept for 30 minutes or so but I had slept for 8 hours without any dreams or anything.
What happened to me when I disappeared into nothingness which felt like everything?
I was surprised that the LSD had a full on effect after just 15 min after ingesting it, was it the Passion flower? And the whole experience lasted for about 15 hours, is this normal?
I’m still trying to process and comprehend the experience, I received some hints from the beings how to conquer my sleep problems and injuries. Since the journey I feel so calm and relaxed.
I’ll write more later as I’ve processed this experience.
Safe journeys everyone.
/Y
I am like a white cloud with no destination, I place goals to trick myself in believing I have somewhere to arrive, everything is a successful goal when I realise I have already arrived.