Hi folks, It's been a while seen I've been posting but I thought I'd say hi, and share the reason why I've been absent.

Alcohol played a fairly large part in my life for about 10 years. I used it initially to escape a methcathinone addiction, but then found myself stuck in it worse than I ever was with the cat. Bitter irony.

Some years back now I discovered DMT and it helped me realise a lot about myself. It tore down a lot of self illusion and other nonsense I had built up in my head and replaced it with... something. The further I ventured into the realms of DMT and it's intricacies the less tolerant it grew of my alcohol addiction. At first it was gentle nudging, "hey you'd better do something about that" type of thing. But I continued anyway. Then it was more forceful, "don't come in here with alcohol in you" which I ignored only once and was punished for. Then the ante was upped, "don't ever come back unless you are free of alcohol." I tried to pretend I was free of alcohol and went back in there. Got the slapping of my life, it was merciless.

I knew after that I couldn't do DMT again until I had sorted out this issue. Even on mushrooms the DMT entities were in the periphery/background of my visions, they instilled fear just catching glimpses of them. I had disobeyed a very simple request. Don't come near our house like this.

So I stopped all psychedelics for over a year. Then I stopped drinking all alcohol in the early part of this year. I rid my mind of of it as well as my body, broke the cycle.

Last weekend I took mushrooms again for the first time in a long time. It was just like I remembered it, beautiful and connecting with nature as always. When I closed my eyes and dropped into the fractals the entities were pleased to see me. Joyous even. Sending me a feeling of love. I was being pulled deeper and deeper into the visions and it felt like I could just take a simple mental step and break through and be there with them, but I did not know how to take that step. I was just an observer.

I know there's a strong rationale to say that these visions are all self generated, that it's just my subconscious. I suspect it is. But these things seem to be autonomous. It's a very convincing illusion if that's what it is.

I feel ready to smoke DMT again, just waiting for the right moment. But I know it will be soon after I finish some things coming up in the next week or so. I can't wait to be surrounded by the splendour and magnificence of that place.

So in a way DMT helped cure my alcohol addiction. Because I wanted it so much, and it would not accept a less than whole me.

Even if it just your subconscious generating those visions, that means you yourself have a deep underlying desire to kick a toxic habit. There is no running away from the Self. We can lie to ourselves, but we can't lie to our Self.

Dependence on anything can be toxic, regardless of the biological implications.

Northerner, I had noticed your absence, it is good to hear from you again.

It sounds like you're doing a lot of work that might not be very easy, I hope it continues to be good for you.

Thanks Sunnyside, it's good to see you here again. It's good to be back and be able to contribute in some way as well.

It's been an interesting journey for this last part, the growth into another phase of life is something to be celebrated. I feel better than ever. Trial by fire is always the surest way to temper a person.

I'm glad you understood my meaning so well Philosopher? and thank you for your additional insight on the topic, you're always adept. It's good to see you too.

In my case mushrooms showed me I was drinking too much alcohol and that it was bad for me. They also showed me I should be spending more time with my children. I was lucky enough to get this message.

Both changes have improved my life and the life of my family tremendously. I have a deep gratitude and owe a lot to the mushies.

DMT is so utterly non- human to me that it really does not give me a lot, if any, personal insight whatsoever. However, the one message I do get from it is a deep chastising for wasting the precious resource that is living. It requires more than a temporary set and setting, it demands a better life.

Hey Northerner!
Glad you are doing well mate! I was wondering why we had not heard anything from you in awhile. It is great to hear that you are improving your life and you sound proud about it as you should be!

Welcome back!

Thanks YouAreWeAmI It's also good to see you mate. I see you've lost your old account somehow?

I'm considering buying a new smoking device now. My old honey bottle bong is pretty gross. I guess I could clean it and get it going again, but it seems like it has a lot of old stuff attached to it. It might be happier just going to landfill.

It's funny that you say it gives you little to no personal insight null24, I've heard that a lot from people. I think though it's not so much what we are presented but how we integrate it afterwards. It's like the most insane ride you can't possibly imagine, but sometimes there's some core truths in there presented by analogy. Not everything is always as it seems.

I'm with you Loveall, there's a lot to be said for mushrooms. Sacred medicine.

cheers mate, thats good news

Thanks Intez.

The birnd people tell me it's good to be free of the heathen poison.

I can highly relate with this. DMT hasn't been the most insightful for me, but Changa on the other hand really has been profoundly insightful at times, and then just plain fun at others.

My last DMT trip however was very insightful, even more insightful than I would've preferred. I just wanted to go for a nice lil journey but instead got smacked with having to face some important things I've been putting off for some time (I was forced to address feelings for my ex, and current gf). I should've known better.

But after that initial round of emotion, I was able to lighten myself up and continue on dosing and having a great time, basking in elation.

Love and Light and Travel Well.

It makes me happy to read this post. I stopped a 20 year opiate addiction that had begun to spiral into smoking heroin after one breakthrough trip. DMT has helped guide me in making positive difficult changes in my life more than anything else in this world. It saved my life. I'm so glad it helped you.

Psychedelics in general have a way of telling us things that are going wrong that deep down we probilly know but somehow convince ourselves isn't there! For me there was a 10 year very bad opiate addiction followed up by 10 years of "medicine" that was really just a continuation of the addiction. I look at a addiction as the neurons craving a molecule so much that they will violate even the most basic rule of surviving to get more of that molecule. But even tho some neurons want it overall the brain knows its no good. Somehow with psychedelics they pull this idea that its no good out of the background and bring it right front and center! And trust me I have been there where it "suggests" something and well if you don't listen it will smack the hell out of you! I am tapering off of my methadone right now for this very reason. It told me that it wasn't good or needed anymore and well then it SCREAMED this at me! Wether its the sub conscience or not it only wants us to be our best! So why not just listen?

Anyway I am ALWAYS happy to hear when things like this help to cure a addiction that is negatively effecting your life! that is something I will always be eternally great full for so its great to hear when it happends to someone else as well! Keep up the good work man!

The founder of AA said he believed that LSD could help recovering alcoholics. DMT works on the same principal.

Hey Northerner! Nice to hear from you after some time again!
I still remember how you were actually the first person to converse with me in the chat.
It was a very good and gentle introduction to the great community of DMT-nexus. Thank you for that!
I'm glad you're having success with battling the alcohol addiction. Just keep up the good work!

You're welcome Triglav, I'm glad to see you're still around mate.

I tend to lurk a lot more than I used to. Not so active on the forum or chat, though still here.

I'm having more realisations at the moment. This morning when I got up it felt similar to the harsh kick in the pants I had the day I realised I could no longer support alcohol. It's got me thinking about a lot of the choices I've been making. I'm old enough now to spot the patterns, and some of these patterns have been going on for a very long time without me even realising. They remanifest in different ways but they are the same thing, just with a different face. Initially DMT was just part of this pattern but as it turns out it's the spanner thrown in the works that has brought the whole mechanism to a grinding heap.

Humans have a need to have vices. Whenever we meet someone who appears not to have any we only have to look a little closer and find that the vice manifests in a different way. It's the balancing high that offsets the inevitable low of the human condition. But with many (if not most) of us maintaining the balance between these two is difficult to master. Vices and lows present themselves in ways we do not expect and cycles repeat despite our best efforts to avoid them. The more I think about this the more I realise that I'm not as in control as I thought I was, ever. Little more than a clever monkey with delusions of grandeur.

Of course I've discussed the illusion of control and reality and all these sort of esoteric subjects over the years. But once again the truths of these things are hitting home again. It's almost like everything is predestined, or happening some time before I perceive them. Even my thoughts aren't truly my own. They've already happened before I am aware of them. I'm just an observer, yet my hand is locked onto the tiller to guide my path through the maelstrom. It's an ironic duality.

Anyhow. I must go on with the show now... there's other things that require my attention.

I am so glad you posted this and glad DMT helped you. I myself was able to stop a 20 year opiate use that had drifted into abuse and even some heroin use. I knew i had pushed things too far. I was both ashamed and knew I had a huge battle ahead of me. It was hell but I did it and DMT aided in my resolve and motivation. I have to say the idea of using is just gross now.

I had very similar experiences with gentle nudgings. I then set my intention to help me stop taking opiates and being slapped around without mercy is a great way to word what happened. My trip went as far as to tell me if I ever did heroin again and did DMT, it would kill me. Now I dont believe DMT can kill me but i have experienced its ability to just repeat the same trip over and over until i got over whatever it was i was working on or perhaps promised myself. For example, the sudden death of someone i was very close to. I had held on to a tremendous amount of guilt. DMT just replayed this beutiful breakthrough three separate times until I fully understood the message and took the steps to fix it. In the case of my opiate abuse, I knew I had to make a choice between DMT and opiate use. DMT for me is medicine it allows me to work on myself and get to know myself better. It has humbled me deeply.

That breakthrough was not fun. It literally reached into my chest grabbed my heart and gave me a physical sensation of it stopping for a brief moment. It also felt exactly like being slapped around throughout a good portion of the trip. The idea of repeating that was not appealing. Since all that my breakthrough trips have been nothing short of mind blowing and very positive. DMT could certainly simulate a death experience or worse if you break promises made inside im my humble experience. At the same time this is controllable to a point with your intentions. And sometimes people get messages that are not really valid. You know like "shut your youtube channel down" or whatever can sometimes just be your subconscious which doesn't necessarily mean its valid if that makes sense.

The autonomous nature of some experiences is... still a great mystery to me. I am not sure it is explainable. Im working on a post on that very issue and some of my more wild experiences that showed an autonomous aspect that... i can't explain. idk what that is. I'm a realist but... i can't explain some things that happened to me.