My human brain is still trying to process the "impossible" experience, but ill try to describe my experience to the best of my ability.
I'd like to read some thoughts of more experienced users and noobs like me alike.
Let's start off by saying I didn't break through, I naively believed I could take 3 hits of a 100mg dose my first time.
1st hit:
I had the 100mg DMT fully vaporized in the pipe, took one massive hit and held it for as long as i could remember. After that I could see things around me, almost like they recognized what I was doing and knew that I could see them, they seemed to me from where I was sat on my bed like they were trans dimensional doctors of some sort, and that they have been watching me for some time. This was a very vivid experience, I didn't get the chance to communicate with them before my vision started taking me through all sorts of different things in this realm. I wont even insult this realm by trying to describe it.
At the point of realizing that I still am in a human body and why I was actually here, I knew I was supposed to take the 2nd hit already. However I was still being blasted by profound thoughts and visions to the point where I felt as though I was not ready for more.
As I felt my heart strain, I remembered that I have to beat it, I remembered I have to breathe, at this point I panicked for the first time in the entire trip, when this stage of panic set in I was overcome by overwhelming darkness and felt as though I was allowing myself to be dragged down into a lesser dimension that is still outside of our own. However, when I had the thought to myself that this darkness is actually beautiful in its own way, the black clouds parted and I was met with a great feeling of calmness and serenity. It was almost like my projection of a positive emotion totally changed my experience, for me this was very powerful.
As I felt the DMT start to wear I simply sat with my hands on my face in utter shock and awe. My girlfriend looked at me and asked me "So, how was it?", I was so taken back by the experience that I didn't say anything back for what must have been about 5-10 minutes, until I started to piece together what happened and ponder on the inner truths and philosophy of the universe we live in.
All I can say is how thankful I am to be able to have this experience.
What I took from the experience:
I came into this experience looking for something more than human life, maybe some kind of philosophical insight into why I am here. Safe to say I got that.
I took from this experience that our consciousness has chosen to be here, not because it's easy, but because it is hard. I see this current existence as a sort of VR proving ground for the consciousness to experience itself in this reality. And that the actions we take in this life will be overlooked in the next, and depending on the outcome, the conscious may choose to come back and try again, or achieve some sort of fabled "enlightenment" and who knows what happens after that.
I have pondered with theories of simulation from other psychedelics I have taken in the past, but for once I feel as though I was given some kind of comforting yet definitive answer the didn't just come from my own psyche.
Thanks for reading this post, sorry if I come off as rambling at times but as users will understand, the data that is downloaded into our puny brains is a lot to process, if not too much.
I look forward to hearing from you all, Namaste.