Heyyoo
Regular cannabis user (has helped not created DPD), occasional Amphetamine user, Loving the magic molecules <3
Introduction: Born with a water filled lung and been "suffering" from Depersonalization Disorder (DPD) as long as i can remember, (15 years atleast i'm 20 now). Started reading about Tryptophan for a few years since i had my first seizure caused by SSRI medication about 4 years ago.
Been looking for more natural ways to boost Serotonin levels and maybe get more of an emotional life since the DPD makes me a bit "numb" or rather distanced from reacting with an emotional "output".
Since taking Ecstasy/Mdma for the first time 3 years ago i have been able to use that as a reference for the emotion explained as "love", even tho i know that it's a fabricated feeling it's a base to start off with.
After taking my first psychadelic (LSD) i felt like something started that hadn't been there earlier, like it stimulated just the right regions to create deeper emotions and remove a bit of the uncomfortable feeling caused by the DPD.
This made it worse for the first 2 weeks, felt like my councioussness was too big for my body so it couldn't fit comfortably. 3 weeks after my first trip i took some mushrooms for the first time with hopes that my uncomfortable feeling would disappear, it didn't. The even more uncomfortable feeling had settled a bit or i got used to it like i've done with my DPD to get by.
BUT! after this it was more like i got acsess to totally leave the body or be inside the body with a feeling of being dumber both in movements and thoughts.
Have taken multiple trips since this with much sucsess in "curing" the thing that i seriously thought was incurable.
How this has happened i do not know (most possibly Psilocins neuroplasticity effect), from the information i have gathered i have come to the conclusion that personality is most likely to be located in the Prefrontal Cortex which could be the part that could have taken damage from low oxygen for a quite long duration after being born (gonna get my journal from the doctor to do more research into this).
Thanks to my later trips i have now reached the most wonderful mindstate i could ever ask for, i can distance my view of myself to observe my own bad habits and change them, i have been able to feel a connection to a person and starting to care more about my surroundings well being.
Questions/Random Thoughts:
Could DPD be something like being born with an Soft Ego Death?
Amphetamines forces my counciousness/soul into my body but the increased stimuli removes the uncomfortable feeling, is dopamine responsible for the Ego perhaps?
Could Tryptophan be used to refill the neurotransmittor Serotonin and shorten duration between getting good vibes from the shrooms or other 5ht agonists?
Would love to get a discussion going with basis in Neuroplasticity/transmittors, Amino acids, Magic molecules effect on the brain, or any other subject that might be relevant!
