Hello Nexus

I'm very new to the world(s) of DMT, and a proper report of my early experiences is on its way.

TL;DR: Do members here often experience the same textures and entities repeatedly? As though that's their own particular 'flavour' that they're stuck with?

Thus far I have experienced what I believe to be 1 forgotten breakthrough (Which I remembered on my 2nd breakthrough) 1 full breakthrough, and an absolutely sublime, and life-changing experience on sub-breakthrough dosage. (As mentioned, I plan on writing this up here very soon.)

I'm most curious about my 2nd experience, in which I broke through into a 'colossal' room (I use the word 'colossal' as though it adequately describes the size involved, but it is of course, wholly inadequate) full of equally huge columns, cogs and 'machinery' spinning impossibly in all manner of colours (mostly pink, black, [sunset peach] blue[?] ) and approximately...

3 Jesters.

These jesters were laughing (manically) - in that metallic, vibrational sound that seems to accompany mine and other's trips - at the cogs, and potentially at me.

One of the jester entities (female, while the other 2[?] were male) seemed to be quite dissaproving of me and I got a feeling from her of intense frustration that I wouldn't let go, and laugh with them.

I'm working on letting go (via meditation, self-reflection and being more 'present' in my daily life), but in this experience I couldn't due to fear of the unknown, and perhaps a fear that I'd become one of them forever.

Also, both breakthrough experiences (remembered and re-remembered) have been very sharp in texture... bright like a video game, digital, fast and electric; not what I'd consider very 'spiritual' in the classic sense at all. The jesters, while not malevolent, or 'too scary' were somewhat stressful to be around. (I am trying to figure out what all this means, perhaps that I need to let go more, or be more accepting of the brighter side of life).

Do members here often experience the same textures and entities repeatedly? As though that's their own particular 'flavour' that they're stuck with?

I know I'll be shown what I need to see, and imposing my wishes on the molecule is like asking a tsunami to please go somewhere else, but I was hoping that further experiences might wind up being very different - Earthy, analogue, loving perhaps.

Really good to finally say hello properly (I've been lurking for a long time), and thanks in advance for your input. Looking forward to sticking around and exploring the 'us' with you all.

P.S despite the initial question, I'd also thoroughly welcome and appreciate any insight on what all this meant. I hope for that when I post my complete report, but analysis here would be really satisfying/helpful/appreciated too, if you've the time.

I saw these spinning cogs and giant machine, as a dream/nightmare when I was about 5 years old. This place might not be as individualized as you think, and perhaps more universal?

Yes. It seems that i only remember dmt space once I'm there and then it's intensely familiar. Like "oh, yeah, right, howdid i forget that?" is often how i feel there.

There are different "rooms" that consecutively lead to different experiences but the first ones are most recognizable. This seems objectivity seems to dissolve into personal visions the further out i go.

The deeper i go there seem to be temples and spaces constructed from my mind and then even further into a place of pure experience. But the initial chambers seem to reflect a objective universal encounter with something if i go by some descriptions in the trip report literature since many of it is shared.

It's effing strange but i think it speaks to a shared consciousness...or something???

The cog stuff was already in the Bible, long before machines were invented.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Living_creatures

I've found that to be one of the more enjoyable aspects of the journey so far! Every deep dive so far has had that same revelation... Really sets a more comfortable tone for the rest of the experience.



I gather from this that I have rather alot further to go out Exciting! Do you tend to further based on dosage or some sort of mid-flight technique/intention?



This is where I find myself a little at odds with the majority... The place I go to doesn't seem to fit (or come close to) many descriptions of the initial 'rooms'. That said, 'The Jesters' seem to be a recurring theme (archetype?) and, with many thanks to ajlala; the cogs also seem to be shared, across millennia!

This 'shared experience' aspect of DMT was what drew me to read more on it years ago, and for me, elicits a great deal of curiosity. I'm so glad I've been brought into experiencing some of the same dimensions, concepts and imagery with you all

Just a quick update: Today I went back in (out?)... Yet again found myself in exactly the same place (deja vu! deja vu!) but this time (my 3rd high dose) I found the experience much more digestible. In fact, upon coming back to earth, I had what I can only describe as a 'spiritual cleansing'. Throughout pretty much my entire life I've staunchly considered myself an atheist; so as I'm sure you can imagine, this 'cleansing' came as a bit of a surprise! Absolute feelings of joy, release, and acceptance. I've now come to feel that if this 'flavour' in the initial chambers is the one I'm bonded with, then that's pretty incredible. It's a truly beautiful place.

The next time I go in (under/over/out?) I'll be going with a healthy respect, but with far less worry and angst.

Thanks for taking the time to answer, both of you!

Love & light

Thanks, it's interesting to read these posts. Have you read Jung's book "Man and his symbols"? He would believe these might be part of a "collective unconscious".

The clown archetype is also interesting. One of my earliest memories was being very scared of a clown.

Why would A "cleansing" and "Absolute feelings of joy, release, and acceptance" not be compatible with an atheist perspective?

Sorry that should have read 'spiritual cleansing'. By that point, due to irl stuff, I confess I was rushing a little.

Before not too long ago I was very closed off to what I would constantly call mumbo-jumbo (essentially anything to do with the spirit or the soul, anything smelling even slightly of mysticism, any idea of cleansing anything but the psyche and so on). In fact, I was closed off to a great many things. Little by little I had become a grumpy old man (I'm only 33 years through this dream!) closed off to new thoughts, concepts and experiences. Talk of spiritualism, a couple of years ago would have invited a raised eyebrow, an audible groan and a complete lack of true listening. I was a bit of an ass I guess!

Only recently have I begun to open up to even the slightest possibility. Over the last few months I've been realising how counter-productive and exhausting this aggressive denial has been over the years - regardless of the potential validity of the subjects I was turning away from. I suppose I held on very desperately to scepticism as a way of life, and flew that anti-spirituality partially under the flag of atheism.

I'm working on shedding those aspects of my personality, as they don't seem to be serving me very well any more (they probably never did) but there are still bumpy concepts I haven't reconsidered yet, and every time something profound like this happens, in which I have no option but to call it a 'spiritual event' I'm completely surprised. The grumpy old man in my heart is livid that he has no other way to internalise it too

The feelings of joy, release and acceptance, while on their own wouldn't be incompatible with my particular flavor of atheism/scepticism/wilful-ignorance, they felt very spiritual in nature at the time. I'm not sure how other people consolidate their atheism with spiritual experiences, but it was never really a possibility for me; If the spirit existed, it was something connected to a higher power or realm, and continued in one form or another after death. I just couldn't combine that with atheism in the end.

I've been finding increasing comfort in an open, agnostic mindset over the last while (partially before DMT but mostly now, after these experiences) with what I would consider a still ample supply of scepticism and a (hopefully decreasing) supply of grump. But who knows, perhaps that will change too and you'll find me in a monastery humming mantras to myself a couple of years from now. I doubt it, but I'm very, very glad that simple possibilities aren't something I immediately relegate to the basement any more.




Thanks for the suggestion! I'm building a reading list from the nexus and your suggestion is to be added

Do you ever encounter clowns (or clown-like entities) when taking spice?