Helloy guys,

I am new to this forum but have been reading a few posts and really am amazed about what people all know.
Maybe there is some consensus about a question I got which is very personal and a little bit dramatic as well.
Whoever is interested in reading a little bit to contemplate, I will thank alot.

I have a brother who is going through hell all day every day, and I really would like to help him but it seems quite a complicated task.
We are a family living in Germany grown up in a small, little bit conservative city where everything needs to be tight neat and perfect.
My parents were divorced since I was born and made our lives very very horrible and complicated by fighting each other, insulting and all kinds of stuff everyday, mostly by phone, I have rarely seen them together.
Well my brother and I suffered alot through this and flunked in school, by the age we entered into puberty. Whereas I turned quickly away from my parents and started living my own life and growing up by myself, my brother who by this time became very emotional and bad at school seeked the help of my father. My father was of no help whatsoever and my brother had major problems in school and also a couple of fights which traumatized him seriously. So at the age of 14 my dad sent him to a psychiatric institution where he actually didn't want to stay, but my father convinced him and he stayed. Furthermore my dad told the staff that my brother had suicidal thoughts and they had previously diagnosed him as schizophrenic, which is totally a wrong diagnosis in his case by some bad doctors. He was forced to stay there because of his suicidal thoughts and went through horror by being imprisoned and bound up to the bed when he started to rebel.

He fled twice but the police brought him back all the time.
Well his major problems started ever since he got treated in that clinic. The clinic also has a very very bad reputation. He got overmedicated for years, dropped out of school lost all his friends got really fat due to medication and started to be like a child annoying everybody so everybody distanced themselves from him.

I always knew it was the medication that screwed him so much, so I tried reducing it and didn't know the potency of them and the dangers of reducing to quickliy,because I was also only a teenager with limited knowledge and just wanted to help my brother. After years of use We cut off a high dose of medicine straight away and that gave him major paranoia, where they caught him and imprisoned him in psychiatry again. Well this time they made him stay in an enclosed department for 6 months and gave him the most potent medications available, and when he came out he came out totally destroyed and full of paranoia and delusions, he couldnt live normally not even one day. This continued for another 5 years, in which he was being sent to various clinics and institutions what I call institutions for "lost souls" where he couldnt go anywhere without permission and where he ultimately was treated very badly and fled with another patient.

After this escape he spent 4 years at home with my old dad who is already 74 years old, doing absolutely nothing. My mom had died already as well due to cancer that she didn't want to treat because the conditions of my brother gave her a super depression.
Now my brother is being treated with medication for 14 years and there was a lot of drama and sadness, and for 4 years he is being totally mentally paralized and fears everything cant go out of the house anymore, isnt available to talk to people anmore, doesnt have friends, doesnt have any social contacts except me and my father.

I myself have gone through two ayahuasca ceremonies, in which I received the message that I have to help my brother no matter what. So after years living abroad I came back home seeing my brother in terrible conditions.

It's quite a complicated mission, and what makes it worse, is that I bred magic mushrooms at home, and ate a few, went to the forest and had such a great and peaceful time.
I recommended him taking it as well, as I thought it would give him peace exactly as it gave me, but that was the worst mistake I could have done.

He closed the door and his head exploded, he felt so much anger, and after the trip he came out totally paranoid. It's been two months now, and everytime I get a package from the mail he thinks its a bomb. He thinks everybody is following him and try to kill him. Delusions he had never had before.
Ever since the mushrooms he keeps talking to himself about black magic, and says that people want to take it away from him.
He thinks one of the neighbours wants to kill him and hacks the elevator and hacks our scooter and all this kind of weird stuff. He closes the windows and closes the curtains because he is so fucked up really really, and he wasnt like this before taking the mushrooms. I think I have done the greatest mistake in my life. But I also I didnt know how to help myself because he already became so violent with my dad, my dad being the person that sent him to psychiatry in the first place and giving him his medication ever since. He is also taking alot more medication already, which quiets him a little bit but the majority of time it's a total movie and adventure at home and I am so sorry for him I see him suffering so much I would just like to end it all and make him have peace again

I am already in some ayahuasca groups on whatsapp that say, ayahuasca could bring him to lucid life. But I am so sceptical about that, it would probably only make matters worse, as he will review his crappy life without friends without ever having had a girlfriend and all the violence included.

Also I read about Iboga ceremonies or whatever I have already thought about taking him to another country where he probably could meet a girl, which is what makes him suffer the most, the fact that nobody loves him and that there is no woman in his life, after my mom died.
But he is already so weird he is always on the run thinking someone is after him, his medication is more then ever and also taking him on a plane to Mexico or Peru to go through a ceremony doesnt seem like an option to me, because I am too afraid to make his conditions worse, and also he might be afraid that the plane will explode through someone hacking it.

He has several times contemplated taking his life and making suicide to end this eternal suffering he got himself caught up, but he doesnt have the courage, because he thinks he'll go to hell.

I have already asked two ayahuasca shamans, what would happen if we take our lives by suicide, and I didnt really get an answer I wanted. One said that breaking the laws of nature is going to have serious consequences, and the other said, that in the afterlife he isn't even going to recognize he died and will still flee his demons, and through karma and the law of cause and effect he will be reborn with either a mental deficiency or paralized or something else.

Well I just wanted to know the opinion of people who probably have some knowledge or even if you dont have it, I appreciate any opinion on this matter, and also if you know similar people who had been able to get treated in anyway.

Opinions on afterlife, suicide and meaning of life I would love to hear.

Whoever made it to the end of my text, I am happy to see you had so much interest

That is a heavy situation Rioja.

I'm hesitant to offer any advice because your situation seems to call for professional help. I just want you to know that a lack of responses does not indicate lack of concern, it just means you have people thinking a lot.

In reading your post, I keep thinking about the directions they give on jetliners about the oxygen masks - "First give yourself aid, then help others." I know you are committed to your mission of helping your brother, but you need to be sure you are in a strong place yourself. I know a lot less about you than your brother from your writing. Please put in an introductory essay. Report on the aya ceremonies. I would like to know more of where you are coming from.

Also, I don't understand what you mean when you ask, "what would happen if we take our lives by suicide?" Are you considering suicide, or are you talking about what happens generally when people commit suicide? You're doing a great job with English, but I want to be clear on what you're asking.

@Nitegazer
Well the thing with the professional aid is that my brother passed through various careless psychiatrist that basically ruined his whole life and made him go through hell on earth.

I was born and raised with my brother in Germany, we have persian parents (now only my dad lives ), and I had my ayahuasca ceremonies in Brazil while I lived there for a while.
The first one really frightened me, I dont know why but it was scary. But at the end of the ceremony I saw my brothers face in a tree and knew I had to go back and help him.
The second one was better and I could reunite with my lost soul that I basically lost because of the conditions in my family^^.
But also in the second one I could only think and hear the voice of my brother asking me for help I could hear him scream in my head all the time. And while reconnecting with myself some spirit told me that my brother will not so soon be able to do a ceremony as well, it will be too tough for him. Then I asked the spirit so what should I do to help him, and the spirit asked me to sleep and only to enjoy the moment and care for that later.

Well I didn't like the spirit giving me a mission but also don't knowing how to resolve it.
So when I came back here home, I bred some magic mushrooms ate them and went to the forest, and had a great time. I was connecting with nature and asking it for advice, the plants and trees were comforting me and telling me that they also didnt have a clue what to do, and I asked myself what would happen if I ended all this. And the answer was clear: I would become free of this story.

So now I am confused, I dont know if the mushrooms deluded me or if it was just me thinking I'd get free.
I wish peace for my brother and would help him finding a girlfriend maybe going to a warmer country where his chances are higher, but he is quite weird now between people, full of fear and anxiety, always sweating when he comes into conversation with someone and this makes him suffer alot, he asks himself quite alot what this life is worth it, and to me for him it's not really worth it, too much abuse and trauma already. If the purpose of life is only the universe watching itself interact, then I consider no real benefit for him.
The shamans telling me that suicide will only make things worse isn't really what I think a kind creator would do, punishing us But then again, who is the creator, is it us?
I imagine, our human body would go away and we connect back with the universe, but I don't know a thing about it actually haha.
But the shamans and Ayahuasqueiros and those following the theory of Allan Kardec say that we have a soul or a proper consciousness which is here on earth to learn and improve and after death or taking away your own life, it can get caught up in the lower dimensions and be enslaved or tormented and then be reborn as someone deficient or handicapped.
The problem is I cant really help him he is just paranoid all the time now, and anxious cant even get him to come out of house.


Sorry for writing so much ) But whoever wants to read a little bit and maybe add some opinion that would really be nice
@Nitegazer:I love the English language, a very beautiful language in my opinion.
The question for dying is more for him actually, because he is constantly suffering, and if he got caught up in some lower dimension I would try to make a soul rescue by enlightening myself, but seriously I dont even have a clue what I am talking about here^^. I just find it very confusing that we have to live a life which is super painful and we get punished if we dont. That's why I came here to ask for opinions.

Thank you for adding so much more information about yourself. I can relate to your distrust of mental health professionals-- after my mother attempted suicide, it seemed to me the therapists and psychiatrists she saw only put her deeper into her delusions. I also had a friend in high school facing sexual abuse at home, and when I insisted to tell the school counselor, all sorts of shit hit the fan and she took most the damage.

It has taken me years to see the good that skillful practitioners of therapy and psychiatry can do. They are strong medicine, and the right one can truly help.

We are all equally credentialled to talk about the afterlife, which is to say that none of us knows anything really. I do know there are things that give me joy in this world. Physical things, like the smell of hot coffee. I also treasure the time I share with people I love.

I couldn't tell from your story if you have found love in people other than your mother and brother. If you haven't, I would recommend you stick around longer. You feel it's important for your brother to experience, and it could be for you too.

Hello Rioja66.

I know this post is almost a year old, but for everyone's consideration, I want to respond to some of your points.

I have a similar family history to yours and can relate to the problems that you and your brother faced when you were young. My mother was also ready to give up on me, and wanted to transfer her guardianship to the state. She wanted to commit me to a juvenile correctional facility, essentially. But my father did not like that idea, because he was concerned about his reputation, and so I ended up in a boarding school. I am certain, that fact saved me from an early death by overdose or violence.

I have been on antidepressants and in therapy for years going on decades, but was fortunate enough, to never have had a serious crisis. Unlike my father's brother.

My uncle, in his early forties, suffered a complete mental breakdown with many of the symptoms that you describe that your brother has/had, and his wife had him committed to an asylum. He was diagnosed schizophrenic with serious paranoia and was drugged and kept there for several years. I believe that his sister, my aunt, who is an MD, finally got him released from the asylum, after years of reviews and examinations by psychiatrists that did not work at the asylum.

My aunt set him up in an assisted living type facility and with a new psychiatrist. They tried various different medications, to find a combination that worked well for my uncle. Several more years after staying at the assisted living facility, he was finally able to organize his own household again, got a small apartment, and soon later even a part-time job. I think, all together, he lost maybe twenty years of his life, due to the medical miss-treatment that he received in the asylum. I believe it is a crime, to have one of your family members committed, unless they are a clear threat to others, or themselves. And even then, there are alternatives to surrendering the dignity and the rights of a human being to a cruel and careless system that will keep them in forced solitude and drug stupor.

And, although your intentions may be good and well meaning, to be very clear, I would never, ever, even consider giving psychedelic drugs to someone in an unstable psychological frame of mind! That is seriously playing with fire.

I can only hope that your brother will find some form of medical and psychological treatment that will enable him to return to an independent life, like my uncle could.
Good luck.