Hello readers.

I have been posting here lately, without any intro, so now i feel its time tell something about myself.

Once i did completely forget my identity, and "woke up" in a tent with a dude i did not recognize. (the guy fell asleep and was laying there, so was i). I just struck in my body. It is the mind which seeks the explanation, and some moments later i realized that there was some kind of "action" what triggered all of this, though it is an action only if i make note of it... It was a perfectly disturbing day.

I have had this situation where i tried to squeeze just few drops of L from eye-dropper bottle. Thats the kind of bottle, where ALL liquid is hanging above your mouth, not in a separate dropper... Boy oh boy, i squeezed the living best out of it, about 50drops in one puddle. There we go, with my 2 best friends, walking to the local mountain on 4/19 day. Both of them were on both sides, talking separate things. Things like, other one is saying to this other, like "you see those unicorns there? aint you coming nuts huh, or are unicorns real?", and the other was talking to me: "when we get rid of this third".
I couldnt give any political statement there, cause i was going further and further.

It was no suprise, that i yelled to both of them from top of my lungs, asking "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?!", about hour later. We ended up losing each other there. Funnily i did confuse white light on the sky to sun. Thinking: "damn, suns bright today...", i did turn my head a little, and noticed mindblowingly that the actual sun was on the other direction.

Times are indeed changing, as i was told. I did went to prison that same year for about 10months. That time was refining of intention. Surely it was interesting to been put to criminal psychiatric assesment. They send prisoners there to get "head inspection". Everybody out there was waiting judgement for murders and for burning things like houses up. Decades of sentences and mine was for less than year for robbing the local store with knife. I met there many rare kind of perspectives of this life. On notable was the relationship with inspecting, forensic psychiatry special doctor. She, told me that she is 100% against legalization of cannabis, cause, as she told me "i see everyday young people on psychosis brought to here (mental hospital, toughest one here) for month to recover only to be letten loose to do it again, and you know what, that sucks for big time! I dont want to deal with that kind of stuff, people with their own narcomanic behaviour..." Here i remind that people like her, is the people whos opinion in political level is really respected.

I had some fiery conversations with her. I ended up getting the "not in full understanding" paper, that cut the sentence by 1/4.





Now i want to make this more simple. So i say that since releasement from prison i have wanted to something beautiful. To do beauty.


Now in first time in my life here i really know what i want.

Latest lesson of mine, has been a realization that nothing is more painful, than causing sorrow to person you love absolute most. Realization that i am the only one between her and love. All i want to do is to take her on my arms and lift her to light. Im seeking aid to not cause pain to her cause of my blindness, my unconcious actions.


You guys here are great, you have literally helped me to shape my work, having eye there where i dont.

Ending with reality of this moment, which is that heart is feeling the pain of lifetime, though its not broken. It is crying, and thus are my tears warm. Sun shines even when its raining!


Song that i like