I am lucky to have grown up with some amazing people. During the summers my family would spend a couple months in the warm Mediterranean coast, and in this beautiful land one of my childhood summer companions was Cris.

Cris is a kind and gentle soul. She is also beautiful. I would regularly have a crush on her each summer. Her hair would change color under the summer sun, the flowing tips turning a light color, framing her face in a glowing aura. Along with other friends and family we shared hot days at the pool, beautiful sunsets, cool nights, and sometimes warm kisses. We got to see each other grow up while enjoying the beauty of nature around us. I can still remember the beautiful colors of the tan land and salty blue sea, merging with the sweet smells of aromatic herbs and the taste of earthy almonds. The generous almond trees provided plenty - all we had to was climb and pick them. We would throw the almonds into our fire pits and roast them.

I'm older now, the Mediterranean summers gone.

Fortune made it so Cris and I could meet this summer, two decades removed from our youth. This time in a different land near the Atlantic. And this time we took care of the kids instead of being kids ourselves.

I shared my new love of pychedelics with her. How they had made me appreciate life through felt experience. However, lately my trips had been filled with anxiety and missing the estatic feeling of a deep communion with the cosmos.

Chris decided to try mushrooms. I made her a ginger tea and decocted 3 grams of young dry mushrooms into it. She had a good trip filled with deep emotion. She suggested we share this by having me trip the next day. It had been 6 months since my last trip, and despite the latest experiences being difficult, I agreed to have her as my sitter without a doubt.

The next day we cooked some traditional Mediterranean food and had some friends over. After an interesting nexus-like group discussion where LSD, Harmalas, Prozac, depression, cluster head-aches, menopause, and other human conditions where discussed, it was time. I made my own mushroom tea, a copy of the one from the previous night that Cris had taken. As our friends and family left or went to bed I drank the warm magic liquid.

Alone in the porch, Cris and I talk quite a bit as the psychedelic mushroom enhances my conciousness. Tears roll down my face from pure joy when she describes the beauty of nature, from summer sunsets to the cold air of a white winter day. I see hear as a goddess, a mother and giver of life, as beautiful as ever. We look at the stars, Mars red and bright. The porch metal schreen was being charged, likely by the night's Summer breeze, and discharging beautiful small Sparks that mixed with the stars. The set, setting, and sitter could not be more perfect. I talked through my felt experience. I talked about the unity of all life, about the mental trap of ideological convictions such as science, religion, and politics. I told her I saw hope in the story of Adam and Eve, where the garden of Eden is a beacon of hope. A place we can return to once we overcome the concept of sin, once we accept Eve as a mother goddess, and embrace the gifts of mother nature: the psychedelic tree of knoledge. I see us returning to Eden, in harmony with the snakes and all of mother nature, not as dominators, but as a humble small part of the cosmos. A part of the cosmos who considers enhancing conciousness a fundamental right and not an original sin or a punishable crime.

Then it happens. I see Cris' smiling child in my mind's eye. Innocent and pure. In an instant I'm catapulted to a deep feeling of awe and gratitude. I melt in it. I'm in the presence of the Divine. I have done nothing to deserve this, yet here it is. Why me? I weep in awe of how lucky I am, with Cris gently comforting me by my side.

After this mystical moment I slowly return to baseline. Cris goes to bed and I enjoy my landing by skinny dipping in the outdoor pool under the stars.

Looking back on the experience, I'm in awe of it. How lucky are we to be here? I'll take this experience with me and try to be a better person. With as much kindness, humility, and gratitude as I can.

Hopefully the human monkey can return to Eden one day, so we can unleash our love and kindness on the universe.

Loveall,

What a beautiful experience, my friend. You have a lovely way of putting what is often indescribable into perspective, and I appreciate that. I can relate to that feeling of having anxiety ridden experiences as of late, so much that I've taken a break from all psychedelics for a while. It became more stress than what I consider worth it, and one trip ended in full blown panic/anxiety attack, which has never happened to me before. That being said, your story inspires me to never give up, and to find the underlying causes behind the "not-so-happy" trips.

Mushrooms have always been my most reliable and favorite teacher and I know I'll hop back on that horse when the time is right. Thank you for taking the time to write up this report.

Thanks Grateful One. I never really got to the bottom of my bad trips. Like you, I decided to take a break. Going into this last trip I was nervous, but everything turned out very well with my friend by my side. I really think the setting and the sitter made a huge difference.

In the past I had to trip alone. That worked well for a while but the bad trips eventually came. Maybe after learning from psychedlics, I needed to share them with someone close. I think we need a connection to others with the important things in life, we are social beings afterall. For me, at some point, trying to focus on personal mindset alone (surrender, accept, etc) was like trying to pick myself up by pulling on my bootstraps. I for one, needed a little help from my friends.

I wish you the best on your next trip, whenever that may be.

Thanks, Loveall! I love the Beatles, by the way! I play that one on my guitar for my girlfriend all the time, as it is one of our favorites.

About social interaction in general, I know I need a lot more of that in my life. I tend to have a pretty anti-social, introverted personality even though I get along with nearly everyone I meet. Maintaining friendships and meaningful relationships, has always been a struggle, and as a result, my circle of friends is very small. My girlfriend is the exception and we've been together for 5 years. I always trip with her and we always have a great time, until the last couple of trips, where this fear/anxiety and helplessness took me to what felt like the edge of my sanity.

After that, it seems only natural to step back and try to examine it. I'm not sure if I'll ever know why, but I'm not sure it matters too much. I think what matters is that we continue to learn from all experiences sober or psychedelic, good or bad, upside down or sideways, even when the message is confusing or unclear. I think I need to get a better handle on my daily anxiety, so I can learn how to better handle it during a difficult trip.

Thank you for the encouragement and the timeless tune!

Wonderful report, thanks for sharing!

Thank you for sharing. You paint a great picture.

That sounds like a beautiful experience. Sharing it with an old friend is a wonderful thing