In case this becomes a wall of text, here is a spoiler. The drama was definitely not high. There was no emergency. My stress is quite manageable.

By the time I write it out, I might feel fine and delete it.

I will probably type too much, in efforts to detail the entire situation.

My friend D invites me to his wife T's birthday party, it is an important one for her. Among the 10-15 invitees are another couple, M and M, who along with D and T introduced me to the molecule and to some other psychoactives. I detail this to illustrate the comfort level and trust involved. Both are very high.

I depart from my metropolitan area and arrive at this secluded riverside campground in tall pines. Several friends are there already, and more will arrive. I had time alone in the drive, and I'm very ready to dose myself on arrival, with MDMA and psilocybin. I don't indulge often, and I love this combination and am looking forward to sitting quietly with my GVG and doing some deep hyperspace explorations.

One fellow I haven't met before - J - seems to catch my eye. I don't know what or why. But something is different. And though I'm not eavesdropping, I do overhear him asking questions of someone, something like 'What would I see?' and 'Do you see such and such..?'.

And so I find my quiet space under a tree, near the stream, and I'm in full liftoff from my dosings. And I'm sitting with my GVG loaded, and my lighter in my hand, and my hands and eyes are playing tricks and I listen to them and just hold everything in my lap, there's no hurry, I'm very very fine.
And D sees me and knows and brings his chair, we sit quietly and enjoy. And M circles in closer and we all smile and talk and enjoy. Finally J circles on in and joins us, pleasant and inquisitive. I make some tentative approaches to the GVG, but don't engage it yet, although I can see J wants to see and observe.

He finally asks directly what do I see when I work with the DMT, and I tell him it's very hard to describe, but make some efforts, and D and M both offer their comments. And as I say, I'm dosed, and not trivially. Along the way he asks something like "Do I see dead people/things...?" and I was quite honest and replied something to the effect "I have seen both dead and undead, living and not living..." and he repeated "But what about the dead?" and all I did was reaffirm. Yes, I believe I have. Not in a spiritual sense, just what I have observed. J stops and says "I want that. I want to see that".

For whatever reason, that put me on some kind of alert. The nexus pages spring into my mind, "Why you should not partake of DMT", and the questionnaire, 'What if someone wants you to expose them to DMT'. I think I immediately said "no", and was met with 'Why not?'. "No disrespect to you, J, but I just don't know you well enough. This is a serious substance, not childsplay. It requires care and respect".

D and M supported his request, taking the position that very small tastes would be a good starting point.

I gently offered my resistance, but ultimately conceded "It's probably fine". Remember, we're all here by Special Invite. No General Admissions were available.

In my discomfort, I did set down the paraphernalia and wander away, he's their responsibility now. Don't get me wrong, it is not bad, it just is questionable for me.

So I sit a bit, I move a bit, I enjoy it all. I see J speaking with D, speaking with M, and other friends circle in to their group, and I keep my distance, but I know what's going on, and it's fine.

At some point, J stands up and moves away from the group, and I can tell.

J takes a few steps, squats down, head in hands. Waits. Kneels. Walks again. Kneels looks around, head in hands, squats, kneels, looks, stands, sits...

I circle wide and slow, he looks and waves me away. I say "It's almost over" and he mutters.

I circle to D and M. They offer "It was only a tiny amount...". I tell them "I understand, he seems aware of me, we'll be ok".

J walks, others circle in to me "Is J ok...?" "I think he's fine, it's almost over, he'll be fine..." And I'm getting lots of sidelong glances, but we are here and this has happened and all will be ok. But the difficulty is, it continues. J stays by himself, as others try to circle near, for almost 2 hours, before he finally comes near, where I'm with my GVG and doing my own explorations. And he's struggling and confused, but mostly coherent. Muttering alot, he sits beside me, drops something several times, mutters alot, he and I are getting minimal communication, I wish it wasn't difficult for him, but I'm pretty sure he will be fine, in time.

J's partner comes to get him, her daughter is feeling poorly, they will go to a hotel for the night and rejoin tomorrow. I offer encouragement, it is clear he took a beating in there, but here we are...

Some of you have read what little I post here, I think you can see I try to be humble. And I'm also a worrying person. So seeing his angst did trouble me.
But the train had left the station, there was no turning back. My new friend left, I sat by the stream and did my explorations for another hour or so.

When I got home, I was describing this to my wife, and at this exact point in the story, I told her, as I'm telling you right now, some light bulb came on for me, something clicked, and I jumped onto a conclusion. I grabbed an assumption and held onto it with two hands, for better and for worse. All I said to my wife was "I suddenly realized". And I said those words to my wife and she immediately said her daughter's name. Her daughter is a grad student at university and is diagnosed with BiPolar II.
As I just said, I leaped onto that conclusion. I do not know, I may or may not ever find out. But I believe there was something going on, more than our explorations.

J and his group returned the next day, and he expressed alot of gratitude as I expressed remorse to him. As expected, he seemed fine. I was unable, regrettably, to stay for the final night of the celebration, so I will speak with the others and I will learn that everything was fine and that I worry too much.

So, I've unburdened myself now. I will learn what I can, mostly to just not worry so much I suppose.
The drama was not high, but just enough to get me out from under my rock and tell you all about it.
My time there, my exploration, was delightful, was everything I hoped for and more.

Maybe I should have been more assertive, made a stronger argument. But sometimes resistance is futile. Live and learn, I suppose.

Thanks for sharing your story Sunnyside.

There is no greater danger than the unknown, such is the nature of the world. Someone who wants to see dead things with spice certainly sounds like a great unknown to me. Why anyone would choose that as their intention could only be naivety. It's irrational in the least. Even if that wasn't so, spice is a wily creature of epic proportions. Another great unknown.

It's a lesson (reminder) for all about following our instinct as well. That very first impression we get is usually the right one. When we double take and let others convince us otherwise these sorts of things often happen. Not that we don't wander blindly into chaos from time to time, but when we know better and let others tell us otherwise we are remiss. I feel you Sunnyside, I have experienced similar things. It doesn't detract from our responsibility if we allow ourselves to be influenced by others though. That's the kicker.

I'm glad your stranger turned out to be okay afterwards. Maybe the experience will be a catalyst for important change for him, and these moments you witnessed were just the pain of rebirth.

Thanks again for sharing. You seem like a real nice guy, just keep being.

Sounds like a bit of anti-social anxiety, in that this new person introduced an uncertainty to your environment. It does sound like you worried a bit too much. If this person was being inquisitive then I would say that denotes a certain intelligence. They would not ask about it otherwise. Being that this person is asking about it, it is like you say, it's not like they get an invitation. Perhaps it was time for this person to go and see what they saw and have the DMT experience.

I can certainly appreciate your apprehension and concern. These are qualities of a person who is a caretaker, I mean really someone who takes care. You take precautions and I think maybe you expect others to do the same. You can't always being in the driver's seat and it can be hard when I a novice takes the wheel. Slamming down your foot on the invisible brakes on the passenger's side. Sometimes you just have to relax and have confidence that the person driving has the skills to arrive at the destination peacefully and safely.

Worry is a waste of time. Being in control of everything around us is impossible. Perhaps a lesson to let go for you? Let go in a specific way in this reality?

Northerner and DmnStr8 -

Thanks for your insights, perspectives, and support.

I really do appreciate it.