RE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: truly not myself, I had been run down working outdoors during a heat wave, and had absorbed a lot of other peoples troubles this week. I thought I had cleared that from my consciousnesses as I usually do before going in and felt good-ish
(physical condition) Set: tired, nurished, hopeful
Setting (location):Home, safe secure peaceful, in living room
time of day: 7:30pm
recent drug use: no meds, tripped for the second time a month prior
last meal: fruit, lots of fruit

PARTICIPANT
Gender: female
body weight: 133lbs
known sensitivities: I'm sensitive to everything but no allergies or what ever except being sensitive

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Psilocybe cubensis
Dose(s): 3g dry (my highest dose so far)2.6g took me out of body last time so this should have bought me some hyperspace time I thought
Method of administration: ate dry

EFFECTS[/u]
Administration time: T=7:30
Duration: really hard to say I felt a heavy body buzz for hours but only had a 5 second trip where any consiousness was effected
First effects:inner quiet
Come down: many hours after my nontrip I woke up sobbing to the point my sheets were soaked with tears, I was sober but in my raw sleeping state I felt devastated by being denied entry at the door.
I realize this is an over reaction but it felt shitty.


Intensity (overall):0
Evaluation / notes: I should not trip unless I am myself and free from other peoples baggage
OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 0
Implesantness: the body effects are not woth it without the lesson
Visual Intensity: 0
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.
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AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: I feel not good, sore tired, foggy headed
Afterglow: not yet

So trip report:
It was dark, I heard a male voice like a bouncer at a door, light shon through and he leaned out, clearly blocking access.
He made me aware of the worlds emotion and programming(sadness/fear/separation) I had in my subconscious he said
"you can't bring this with you, it's not yours" I knew he meant these are other peoples issues/lessons.
I asked him "what is mine?"
He said "the love" black and silence trip over.

I guess I should be grateful I didn't get a bad trip.
If these are just some chemical I should have been tortured by my subconscious thoughts.
Instead access was denied. It would have been lessons wasted.

Come to class prepared.

Thank you for this honest and open report. Yes, it does occur that hyperspace doors are closed and you have to deal with a shut out. It happened to me too. Looking back on these occasions I know it was because I was not ready for it at that specific time. Now I know to only go when I get the ‘call’.

And true, you should not get loaded with other people’s issues. We all have our own shit and that’s more than enough.

Thanks Startman,

I realize I had been neglecting my inner work the previous 2 weeks.
Business of life meant I was carrying everything I picked up vs keeping the slate clean as I go.

It makes me wonder how people not on this path get by. Withing 2 weeks I had started reacting to life vs responding. Two deaths and some crazy stuff in that span of time certainly made the process tougher to navigate but I should have at some point stepped back and realized what was happening.

It makes me really feel for those who have never known they could or how to step back and reset.
Continually buried by patterns and emotional charges. Yikes! No wonder so many never find their way out.

Hopefully I will get my subconscious back to it's base line and can go back in.
I will wait for the call as you said. thanks again

All things considered (no pun intended), it sounds like even if was a bit disappointing you learnt a useful lesson regarding carrying other peoples baggage and you are integrating this into your life. I would say it was a very useful trip: what you needed rather than what you wanted.