RE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: a bit holding on to issues of the day but curious about what I could learn from the mushrooms
(physical condition) Set: healthy, awake, excited
Setting (location):Home, safe secure peaceful, in living room
time of day: 5:30pm
recent drug use: no meds, tripped for the first time a week prior
last meal: banana muffin 4 hours earlier, some dark chocolate with the mushrooms because dear god these ones tasted so strong I almost couldn't choke it down
PARTICIPANT
Gender: female
body weight: 133lbs
known sensitivities: I'm sensitive to everything but no allergies or what ever except being sensitive - cumin the herb knocks me out,(this probably isn't the intention of the question Pleased)
history of use: first real trip last week,
BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Psilocybe cubensis
Dose(s): 28g wet
Method of administration: ate 1 huge mushroom on it's own fresh
EFFECTS[/u]
Administration time: T=5:30
Duration: 6hours
First effects:my legs were weekend immediate and my body felt like it was swirling in a counter clockwise circle, I knew it was going to be powerful but had no idea what I was in for
Peak: after 1h - hour 4
Come down: had to get reacquainted with the body but not bad
Intensity (overall):4
Evaluation / notes: I don't see any need to trip deeper, I went out the door, last week I stood in the door way, this week I entered and visited and am bringing my connection out into life
OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 4
Implesantness: nothing
Visual Intensity: it took my body so eyes were closed
.
.
.
AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: so far nothing I guess I will know for sure tomorrow, was very easy so assume there wont be an issue and will take 5-htp just incase
Afterglow: I mean I get it. Everything is fine now.
REPORT
During my trip I actually figured I couldn't write a report. It would sound like maddness but hey who cares so here it goes.
Preface I went through a 3 year long ego death so am not very well tethered to my ego, I think this is making the trip process much easier.
Starting out I should have known the mushrooms were strong as with every bite the remaining stem immediately turned blue, the taste was equally intense and I could barely bring myself to finish the one big mushroom, after about 20 minutes I choked the last piece down,
Another 20 minutes and I was starting to lose my legs, my sitter wasn't yet home so I quickly stumbled to the phone to let him know it was hitting, and hitting hard, and oh god the taste can you bring me a burrito I can't handle the taste.
My sitter arrived as I was basically equivalent physically to being drunk on 4 whiskies. I'm a cheap drunk so that is saying a lot.
I was slowly losing my body. I choked down about 2 inches of a great burrito then everything was spinning so fast I had to stop, I was being layed out, deciding I am going to be incapacitated so should at least do it somewhere comfortable I fought for enough body control to climb up and laydown on the couch,
from there it took me, little by little I lost all sensation of the body, it felt like being buried and I asked it are you killing me? If so I trust you lets go, with that it tested me and my willingness, burring me deeper and deeper till I was clearly choosing to go with it over my life or the body.
Then I was out and I was talking to her, we talked about everything, all my life issues she had the answers, we talked a lot like the wise all knowing counselor I really was enjoying every moment with her. Eventually I confided that she was the first female I ever had such a good connection with. I felt so much respect for her, and trust her completely and I wanted to know who she was, then I felt buried even further. We kept moving there were more of them.
They had all the answers to everything I could ask about everything. They were all one but many and I was one of them. I was home, back out of the body with those connections of consciousness.
Once in a while I would feel pressure on a part of the body I was still peripherally connected to and I would suddenly say thanks are you fixing that now, knowing they/we wouldn't harm the body that is used to carry us in life.
There were many conversations, we discussed this egos unnecessary fear, and decided it was really just nonsense we don't need to bother with anymore. It isn't necessary it's just drama for no reason so we are going to eliminate it. We discussed a few minor health issues and also decided it was no longer necessary to experience them.
For 3 hours I couldn't move except enough to let the sitter know I was ok but the 3 hours I was out and now feel so ok with everything. Everything is under control and I don't have to feel alone because I am not, and I don't have to be scared because I am not the body, and the body is necessary for this life so it is going to be safe.
The contrast of last week not being able to see the beauty I saw everywhere else when I looked in the mirror this week I saw what a great help this body is in life and that it deserves my appreciation and care to ease it's burdens.
I know some have already been here, that this will sound like spiritual nonsense to many and maybe not even make sense to others but it was the most healing and stabilizing experience of my life. It all makes sense now. I am going to do my best to keep this in daily life but certainly can go back for tune ups when needed.
Thank you dmt nexus for walking me to the first steps. I couldn't have done it without you.