I'm not a father myself, but a conversation with a friend brought this question to mind. What would you do/say if your kids came to you curious about psychedelics (circumstance: they're 16-17 yo and do what they're supposed to ie grades up, chores always done, never in trouble)?

If I had a kid that age, and they came to me curious about alcohol or weed, I would give them a beer or let them take a couple hits. I'd rather them come to me, and be safe about it, rather than go to their friends and risk getting into trouble, or worse. That's how it was for me, and it kept me out of trouble until I got out on my own and started making bad choices.

Now when it comes to psychedelics, that's a different story. I'd like to say I'd tell them to wait till they're older, that there is plenty of time in life to experience whatever their heart desires, but we all know that's not a good enough answer for an adolescent.

Psychedelics have done me a lot of good in my life. LSD obliterated my meth addiction, mushrooms showed me how shitty my life was and what I needed to do to change that, aya helped me let go of more pain than I knew I had and helped me forgive myself for my shortcomings as well as forgive those that have done me wrong, and DMT, just this morning, taught me that I need to keep fighting for what I believe in and my future and not to give up the moment things get a little rough.

Had I taken psychedelics as an adolescent, I don't believe these profound and healing experiences would have ever happened, in fact I think it would've caused me a lot of harm instead, but I could be very wrong. They just as easily could have kept me from ever doing K2, pills, or meth.

So what would you do if your kid(s) wanted to try psychedelics?

This is a good question and I think needs to be asked / talked about more.

Personally I'm hoping to have decent chats with my offspring about "drugs" long before they're likely to want to try any. The question is that of balancing what information they can be trusted with (i.e. that will not draw other parents or law enforcement on me and my psychedelic practices) with that which will help them the most. I wish I could be completely honest and open with them. I would imagine that growing up knowing that, say, Mommy takes a day every now and again to do LSD or mushrooms in the forest and do introverted creative things which she considers vital for her mental health, would give one a far different picture of "drugs" than most kids get from the vague and tantalising bits of (mis)information that filter down to them through the mass media.

I do definitely intend to make very clear, when they are old enough, the differences between different types of drugs, and the actual risks of taking them. i.e., that heroin can be laced with the far more lethal fentanyl, or that taking psychedelics to run away from your problems may lead to your problems growing teeth and chasing you down your mind's alley. And eventually, I hope they will come to me when they want to trip because they'll have figured out I must have the good stuff if I have the good info. I really hope one day to trip with them when they are adults - I think this would be incredible.

I wouldn't do it with them or share anything with them when they are under 18. But after their brains have done developing, it would be a different story. Overall I would be glad and relieved if they came to me asking questions at any age, because I know I could give them the straight story.

Oh, and I am a parent.

I would hope my kids would try psychedelics in a responsible way and at a proper age. If that was the case I would be glad. If not I would be sad but not angry if they did it in a "bad" way.

My kids are 10 and 11 and they have already asked me about drugs. The media is awash with drugs and sex and it's inevitable that they will be unwittingly exposed.

I just deal with it honestly. I tell them exactly what the drugs are and what they do to people. I've told them that I believe that MJ should be legal for adults, that it is dangerous for growing brains. I tell them that alcohol is very dangerous and addictive, that crystal meth and crack are extremely dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. I've told them that DMT and mushrooms are medicines that should be used with great respect by responsible adults and are not party toys.

My kids have asked me why drugs are illegal and I've explained about the problems that caused prohibition and the further sociological/political issues that created such a novel way to make a "war on drugs" and keep people in line.

Just the truth. The whole truth, not a selective blinkered half truth.

That said, I negate any questions about my habits by reminding my kids that I am drug tested regularly at work, which I am. When the time comes they'll figure me out.

I hope one day that if they ever choose to use any substance they will listen to my advice, but if they choose not to that is fine as well. I would even share experiences with them when they are adults, if that was what they wanted. But I would not encourage them. It's a personal choice and being such an influential figure in their lives I would not positively assert it, that would be remiss of me. I even keep my stash in a safe, it scares me that they could go through my stuff and find it... and scares me even worse that they might eat or smoke it not knowing how powerful it's going to be.

Thank you for your responses! It's nice to see similar view points on this between different parents, and of course I will tell my kid(s) when they are old enough everything I can safely tell them about "drugs". It's a shame that we live in a world where something like this has to be thought about. It should be something that can be openly discussed without fear of the law.

I hope, that when the day comes, I can look back to this conversation and remember the wisdom you've all imparted. If my dad had actually talked to me about drugs, instead of just saying they're all bad (it was my mom and step dad that would occasionally let me have a beer or 2 with them during game night back in hs, and my step dad smoked weed with me my first time because I was so curious about it) I may have made better decisions with substances. He used to talk about weed like it's heroin, even though he use to smoke, and he's done LSD and mushrooms many times (I got all my Grateful Dead T's and CD's from him, he was even at the last show). Now he's loosened up about weed a little, but even as an adult I don't feel like I can talk to him about any of this, not really.

I don't think I would be angry if my kids were to try psychedelics at a young age, or even if they were trying to use them as a party drug, but I would be disappointed that they did not take my advice or come to me.

I'd be keeping it in a safe too Northerner, the first time I grew mushrooms I was living with some family to help them get back on their feet, as well as my own. Their oldest was 15 at the time, and while I kept my dried mushrooms in the safe, I was afraid he would go pick some fresh or drying ones and eat them, luckily he didn't, cause they were the most potent mushrooms I ever grew.

PlantTraveller, I totally agree, I think it would be wonderful to take my grown kid(s) out for a camping "trip" or to a burn or festi. I can only imagine how powerful of a bonding experience that would be. I hope one day my mom's interest in my mushrooms, and the healing experiences they've given both me and my sister will lead to me tripping with her sometime.

I have always been honest with my daughters about my past addiction and current use. I sometimes smoke weed with my 17 year old. If she asked for mushrooms I would trip with her on a low dose or trip-sit, but DMT? Mmm...she is aware of it, seen me extracting it but it is so personal, I'm not sure how I feel about it...

the truth is the only way. i dont have kids but if i ever did i would encourage them to understand the accurate truth of drugs not the lies about them.

Yeah Fidelsbeard, mushrooms I'd be less hesitant about, lower doses aren't likely to totally shatter someone's reality, and are much more likely to be pleasant rather than terrifying imho. DMT, I think, is something that is best left until a little older (just my opinion, by no means am I trying to tell you how to raise your daughter) when "who am I?" is a little more answered. I don't think I'd want to be unsure of myself like I was at that age, and then be faced with the question of "is any of this real, am I even real?"

I totally agree Cactus Man, but there's only so much you can say without increasing someone's curiousity (I'd want it to be their choice, not my influence), or risking it becoming a topic amongst their friends which could lead to some unwanted attention (assuming you still use psychedelics yourself at this point). I think being honest, without busting out all the trip journals and psychedelic literature, and sharing some highlights of the "good" and "bad" experiences would be appropriate, especially the "bad" since it seems to be something neglected, with up and coming psychonauts.

I have to agree with you about DMT probably being left till older 00Burnout. It's extremely powerful and even as a very experienced psychonaught it made me doubt everything for a while. Mind you, I loved it from the very first try, feeling my teeth shatter in my mouth and being thrown into a world of foam and shooting tunnels took me all of half an hour to get over before I wanted to do it again. I don't think I would have dealt with it so well if I had done it 10 or 15 years earlier. It's not a toy for kids.

It's a great observation about bad trips not being highlighted enough as well. Like that stupid "Spirit Molecule" doco being hosted on Netflix, that has done so much damage. I understand after watching it how every man and his dog wants to do DMT. But the truth of the experience is just brushed over and looked at through rose tinted glasses. Not that the creators weren't well meaning, but I think it has had unexpected negative consequences that were not foreseen.

The echoes of poor integration and difficult experiences are something that need to be shown in their glory as well. The balance of what is given with the medicine.

I'm not sure I'd like to impose on my kids what they're "supposed to do". Just let them be. I've been subject to abuse because I didn't do what I was "supposed to do", and it would be hypocritical to impose myself like my parents imposed themselves on me.

If they wanna trip, let em trip, in fact, I'd grow their mushrooms, their dmt, and trip with them or trip sit them. Not sure if at age 16-17, because I'm not properly informed of how the brain may or may not get damaged for using psychedelics at that age, I'd have to research that.

I'm not sure I'd take my kids to school since that is where it all begins, the brainwashing, the boxing you in without allowing you freedom of thought by forcing you to think about bullshit that doesn't matter. F#$! school, I'd teach them to grow medicinal plants, trees, and food. Teach them to defend themselves against people who don't respect peace. Teach them to eat healthy and strengthen their body. All of these things should be taught at school, but they need to teach all the bs and distractions in order to force you to live in capitalism. At least that's how schools work where I live.

I actually enjoyed that movie, but I was able to view it from the perspective of a psychonaut, knowing that there's no way that DMT is all sunshine and roses. Even LSD has had it's moments of darkness for me, but they were easily overcome and incomparable to the sheer terror mushrooms have given me, and I'm sure I will find moments in DMT where I am absolutely terrified as well. It is the nature of the journey, and imho it is where the most healing can happen. I can definitely see how it could have (or has) caused problems, especially since they make it out to be "smoke this and you'll be in fairy land", with absolutely no talk of the never ending unanswered questions, the inability to rationalize reality, and the doubt of your own sanity. I have not had a DMT breakthrough yet, but the high doses of mushrooms I've taken have given me the same issues, but I've been able to integrate them and ground myself.

These are such powerful tools, and I hope that if my children find interest in them, they learn how to use them appropriately from me, instead of learning the hard way like I did.

The absolute best thing you can do for a child is to teach them how to research, understand, and think critically about these things for themselves, so that they can make their own informed decisions when they encounter the inevitable.

There is some research on adolescent use of Ayahausca within the UDV, and the results are mighty promising:
Editors' Introduction: Ayahuasca Use in Cross-Cultural Perspective
Ayahuasca in adolescence: a neuropsychological assessment
Ayahuasca in adolescence: a preliminary psychiatric assessment
Report on Psychoactive Drug Use Among Adolescents Using Ayahuasca Within a Religious Context
Ayahuasca in adolescence: Qaualitative results

This one is also a really good read regarding raising children on the medicine path in the Native American Church:
American Indian Religious Freedom...
and a father's right to raise his child according to tradition

Citations

Dobkin de Rios, M.. and Grob, CS (2005) Ayahuasca use in cross-cultural perspective: an introduction. Journal of Psychoactive Drugs 37:119-121.

Doering-Silveira, E, Grob, CS, Dobkin de Rios, M, Lopez, E, Alonso, LB, Tacla, C, Brito, GS, Castello, O. and Da Silveira, DX (2005) Ayahuasca in adolescence: a neuropsychological assessment. Journal of Psychoactive Drugs 37:123-128.

Doering-Silveira, E, Grob, CS, Dobkin de Rios, M, Lopez, E, Alonso, LB, Tacla, C, Brito, GS, Castello, O. and Da Silveira, DX (2005) Ayahuasca in adolescence: a preliminary psychiatric assessment. Journal of Psychoactive Drugs 37:129-133.

Doering-Silveira, E, Grob, CS, Dobkin de Rios, M, Lopez, E, Alonso, LB, Tacla, C, Brito, GS, Castello, O, and Da Silveira, DX (2005) Report on psychoactive drug use among adolescents using ayahuasca within a religious context. Journal of Psychoactive Drugs 37:135-139.

Dobkin de Rios, M, Grob, CS, Loopez, E, Da Silveira, DX, Alonso, L. and Doering-Silveira, E. (2005) Ayahuasca in adolescence: qualitative results. Journal of Psychoactive Drugs 37:141-144.

Here are some related threads, if interested:

Children and Psychedelics
Psychedelics and Children
raising kids/taking entheogens
DMT after children
DMT and children
Tripping parents ???
Psychedelic Parenting
Psys and the Youth
Doing DMT at 14
Psychedelic parents?

That's what is so sad, it's all about context...in an ideal world responsible psychedelic use could benefit a family,Aldus Huxley's "Island". I wonder if the high THC weed some teenagers smoke a lot of is harmful. I used to love the weed strains and hashish from individual countries, something has been lost I think. My children are more grounded than I was at their age, more focused on school/college, I let my older daughters boyfriend stay over when she wants him too. Young people can be responsible when trusted and given the information they need to be able to decide for themselves. I love the idea of community ceremonial use ala the ayauasca churches but personally I am atheist though if there were no religious overtones and people were free to take from the experience what they needed without preachers/religious texts I would go

Thanks for the links dreamer and TGO, I'll start reading them as I find time, that's a lot of good info! It's ironic that you brought up the Native American Church as I am intending to send in my spiritual adoption form soon. I knew some cultures (can't remember which off the top of my head) give psychedelics to new borns, and that children often join in ceremony. There is, however, a huge difference, imo, between traditional ceremony and simple curiosity. Not saying there is anything wrong with being curious about it, after all, that's how most of us got here.

I have not read "Island" yet, only "A Brave New World" and a collection of his shorter works (can't remeber the title). It would be a remarkable world, if these tools became accepted by society, and responsible usage was taught instead of, "drugs are bad m'kay". It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job raising your kids, and I hope that I do as good a job as you when I'm a parent someday.

I am sure you will 00Burnout

I take it that it is already assumed here, but i like to think that as parents my gf and i have shown that we are approachable and open to any and all topics with our daughter. Shes naturally more inclined to go to her mom with most, if not all situations, but she knows im just as receptive.
With that being said, i find that communication is a hard thing to keep open with a teen or pre teen, no matter how much i showed that it shouldnt be. But assuming that there is an open line of communication and my daughter feels safe being honest with me, then truthful information on the goods and the bads, without my unbiased opinion, would be the most beneficial. Shes already seen the worst of what drug addiction can do and only time can really tell how thats played on her, or if maybe any of our past will leave her reluctant to talk about whats up with her. Its really hard to say. Weve had the "talks" already though. I imagine theyre somewhat not as normal as the average american family sort of talks, but its inevitable that every parent will have to do this accordingly, unless you could care less..another topic.....just like its inevitable that every child will face the things that weve all faced already. As far as providing anything aside from information, i dont feel i should concern myself in that area until a certain age. I dont know that age, its not specific, but if this scenario ever plays out in my lice i guess il decide then. Kids are gonna do what theyre gonna do and it can be dangerously impulsive, misinforming can make it that much worse...just my opinion

Totally agree...I made a decision long ago to always tell my children the truth about myself and my past addiction and current use. The way I do this changes relative to their age and understanding but I always try to answer any questions about any thing as honestly as I can.

Great conversation.

The only thing that I would add is that much of how the conversation should go depends on the kid themself.

For every drug (even caffeine), there is someone who would have been better off not even trying it. Drugs such as cannabis or mushrooms present less risk for the average person, but I have known individuals who have been harmed by each.

No parent can know for sure what their child can deal with responsibly, but its their job to think hard on it and guide the child to do what is best for them-- and it may not be the same thing that was best for the parent when they were younger.

As the kid gets older, the parent has to let go and guide less. That's why its so important that they are equipped to do the research Dreamer mentioned.

Letting go doesnt have to mean guiding less though. And guiding doesnt always mean verbally