Hello Nexians. I figured it was about time to finally immerse myself into this wonderful community. I felt as though it would be inappropriate for me to post anything here without any personal entheogenic experience, but recently that has changed.
A little bit about myself: Growing up I was always the oddball. More into music, art, and the outdoors than my hicktown colleagues; basic midwestern life. I remember when I got into highschool, the concept of psychedelics really intrigued me, but I was still in that phase where I thought any drug other than aspirin was going to make me a dirty addict. After graduating, I slowly got into cannabis and realized that maybe I had been mislead as far as psychoactive substances went. I had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and went through episodes of manic anxiety and OCD as well as depressive episodes where I found myself cooped up in my room for a week at a time. Needless to say, I was miserable. Every day was a struggle just to exist and, being a very staunch atheist, I really had no higher power or anything guiding me or giving me purpose.
That was 6 years ago. Since then, I met the love of my life, got off all the anti-manic-depressive-OCD-mood-elevator-brain-eaters I had been on for the past 10 years and started to figure some things out. My girlfriend slowly introduced me to psychedelics and my life changed forever. My OCD started to become more manageable, my mood swings lessened and became mere nudges, I could love and laugh and my life had meaning. That's when I finally decided to really delve into my inner conscious. To learn more about myself and maybe what it means to be human.
I have spent the better part of the past year or so researching the spice; watching videos, reading articles and trip experiences, looking at DMT inspired artwork, and consuming the culture as much as I could. I have a one note file filled to the brim with the history, science, and theology of DMT, so needless to say, I was tiptoeing on the edge of the rabbit hole. Over the past 2 or three months, however, I focused my research on the chemistry of extraction. I rummaged through the forums looking for my perfect tek. I have experience with cultivating cubensis and, to be perfectly honest, this was fairly similar as far as the preparation and attention to detail goes. I had a few dozen LSD and psilocybin experiences under my belt and learned something about myself from nearly every single one of them. I was prepared for this elusive and undoubtedly special molecule, so I set out acquiring it.
Following the wonderful Earthwalker Tek, I extracted 1.5g of snow white spice. I stared at my handy work. After almost 10 hours of babying this brown, smelly soup, I had created the key to unlocking the inner dimensions of my mind. I stared at it for at least an hour, taking in every little detail of every tiny crystal under a macro lens. Like watching a large bird of prey; observed from a distance and only to be approached if the bird beckons you. This was it.
I set up my ceremony. Two of my very good friends and myself, and after wasting a few grams working out the kinks in the technique, I finally blasted off. The report of what I experienced is for another time, but this experience made me finally realize my true intentions, and why I joined the nexus. I want to share my experiences and have a place where I can go back to them, where people can give their own interpretations of what happened. I want to see how my experiences compare to others as to learn more about would could be truly a different dimension. Maybe this IS a key to another place that is inside all of us and is connected. I want to learn more about this wonderful new world that has been opened up to me. The people in this community, with their vast amounts of knowledge, will be my companions, mentors, and friends, and that is an awesome feeling.
//End Rant