Hello! I find it difficult to write about myself because that would require that I know who I am. I do not. I could talk about things that I have done, am doing, and intend to do. But that all seems so lost in words. I suppose my intention is to be aware of life. Not in terms of knowing life as an idea or thought but rather by being. I am fascinated by language. What did my thoughts do before I had English to represent them? I think as we grow up and learn language we don't learn that it's just noises. We learn that it's a real thing and certain words can be good or bad. We then think the words we are thinking are us. I think it's time for a new language. One based on awareness not objectiveness. I have done DMT a handful of times and only had one breakthrough. I see it as a wonderful tool that can help identify where life is occurring as thoughts and bring awareness into the present, and allow our senses to percieve more than the limited bit we are typically sensitive too. Much like the red pill blue pill in The Matrix. I choose to wake up. Just writing this I feel my ego trying to express and make sure these words do it good. Keeping an eye on that movement within is difficult but getting easier.

I had my breakthrough 3 years ago and it's been on my mind since. It was a death experience and it was the most peace I have ever felt and I knew death was only a doorway. The force of it on my mind has just kept growing. After my son's death 2 years ago it just got alot stronger. To the point where I would be very ignorant to not act on it (i did a successful MHRB extraction). Something in the way he went has me feel as though his soul made a sacrifice for me and the rest of us to get something. I intend on his passing from here to leave a ripple of awakening rather than grief.

The vibration of the Nexus community seems to harmonize with myself better than any other online community. I hope I can add value! Thanks for reading.

-Rarefaction

Welcome!

Language is indeed fascinating! Out of curiosity, do you speak any other languages? I took 3 years of Spanish way back in high school, but I don't think that quite counts since most of that knowledge has faded with time!



Your idea for a new language is an interesting thought! Maybe this new language will finally allow me to properly describe what a DMT trip feels like! ...Anyway...

PEACE

Welcome Rarefaction,

A fantastic post, I love hearing about people's idea of self-image. I feel as though one's self-image is ever changing. What once defined you can actually be something you despise as time passes. It is incredibly permeable to outside influences, although, core values tend to stay to same. I am no expert on the subject, this is just my opinion.

I am sorry to hear about the passing of your son. I am happy you are viewing it in a positive light as well as seeing death as nothing to be feared of. I have only lost distant grandparents so I can't attempt to tell you I know the heartache.

Your thoughts on language are fantastic, I have given these same thoughts hours of pondering. I enjoy thinking about the subconscious language, or the language spoken but not heard. So much knowledge of one's intentions can be gathered by listening to words not said.

Thanks for a great and thought invoking post. I hope to hear plenty more from you!

I took some German in high school but lost it.

My personal experience with DMT is through the vegetal, called Hoasca, which I've been taking regularly for over a year now. I am a member of the UDV, and have gone regularly (twice/month) since the first session in this location, March 2016. I have gone through more than 30 sessions with the mysterious Tea we call Hoasca/ayahuasca.
It has been my experience that the most difficult sessions were those in which I dealt with the passing of a loved one. I find that the most difficult sessions are those in which one is not able, or unwilling, to deal with deep-seated issues, such as loss of a love one. Yet, through moving through the emotional state, the emotions and feelings, and those pesky regrets, where we as humans make the most progress through our growth as people.
The vegetal, she does not allow shortcuts, or cut corners in dealing with our emotions and deep emotional issues, like physical death. If one has not dealt with the passing of a loved one in this life, the vegetal is sure to be addressing the issue for the one putting it off.
In a recent session, I was forced to address the rusty relationship of my younger sister Holly, who passed in April 2017.
During a session of vegetal, officiated by the UDV, the primary language is Portugeuse--translated into English. I am slowly learning this new language. Romanized-English is a terrible language to start with. We here now are held victims to "Gutenburg's Galaxy": text, rather than script. Terence McKenna talks much on this subject in general during many of his dialogues...which I won't attempt to rejuvinate here. I will simply suggest that the nature of the printed word, in linear text creates a prison-based environment for the Logos.
McKenna describes the LOGOS as the "transcendant other." I come to call the Logos the Divine Utterance, the Divine Word, from which all conscious life strings forth.
I personally don't feel there's been a breakthrough in one's voyages, unless that one has made contact with the Logos.
It is through contact and working with the Logos where one comes to understand the language of the heart. The vegetal is a path with heart. All other paths should be avoided. It is through the vegetal opening up my heart, the heart center energy, where I, where others, are able to speak through the heart, to the heart of another.
Once a person passes, then words and spoken language are useless...yet there they still are, able to communicate through the heart center. It is through using this language of the heart where one is able to communicate to those souls who have gone forth into the spirit realm.