Around this time last year I discovered shrooms for the first time.

I was drinking daily, depressed all the time, and arguing with my girlfriend non stop.

One evening, I was drunk, and we had a massive argument. After screaming at eachother (and probably waking the neighboarhood) I walked out of the house drunk, and walked to the beach.

I sat on the bench and looked out at the water. I was ready to go for my last swim and kill the pain, once and for all. Alcohol and weed didn't numb it anymore.

I cried and begged to God to save me. I didn't know if God existed, but I though I'd give it a shot as a last resort. I sat on bench overlooking the water, crying and begging to God, who may or may not exist.

I didn't kill myself that night, but I cry to this day when I think about how close I came, and how I almost abandoned my girlfriend and our 2 year old son.

Anyways, about the shrooms. Somehow, by chance and "coincidence", shortly afterwards I found myself interested in trying magic mushrooms. I've never done anything other than weed and alcohol (mostly alcohol)

I was scared to take them, as I didn't know what to expect. I was on my last rope so was willing to try anything. I read in the news that they may help with depression and addiction.

I ate 2 grams of dried psilocybe cubensis and waited to see what would happen.

I can't put into words what happened to me, the closest I can come to is God touched me. I "knew" that there was something more to existance than just what I see.

I instantly changed that moment, and the following morning took my girlfriend and my son out to breakfast and I tried to explain to her what had happened to me.

My depression was gone, and stayed gone for weeks. My job, which I hated, suddenly seemed ok. For the first time, I could honestly say that my job was an ok way to spend my days.

That was one year ago. I've now been 10 months without a drop of alcohol, or a single cigarette.

I've got a long way to go. My depression comes back sometimes, but not as bad, because I no longer fuel it with alcohol.

My partner and I argue sometimes, but much less now, and much less fiercly.

I eventually quit my job and am now trying to start a new business, something I've dreamed of and have been trying to achieve for many years.

Most importantly, my son has a more safe and happy environment to grow up in.

I'm now trying to undo the damage that's been done to me, as quickly as possible, so my son get's a better start to life than I did.

I'm still addicted to weed, but at least liver cancer and/or lung cancer won't kill my chance at raising my boy into the man I wish I was (and may someday become too).

In a few weeks I'll be going to a Ahayuasca ceremony for the first time. It's in a safe environment with a reputable guide.

I'm nervous about facing the darkness that's inside me, but without psychedelics I probably wouldn't be alive today, and know that it's my best shot at one day being free and living a happy and normal life.

Anyways, wish me luck! Peace

Good luck! I hope to do aya myself at some stage. And congrats on quitting alcohol. I also quit alcohol and feel I can thank psys for making it easy. In my case, as soon as I got symptoms like stomach pain and bad hangovers even from small amounts of alcohol, I quit cold turkey. This was about 2 years ago. On an acid trip at the time it became clear alcohol was doing me serious harm, and, not wanting to die, I quit drinking. The acid made it seem so easy and simple.

Thanks for your post twattlehead. Congrats on quitting alcohol too mate. Yep, its amazing how easy psychs made it for me too. The first few weeks were still rough, but waaaay easier than they would be otherwise. I look forward to a world where this kind of help is available to everyone, and not just those lucky enough to come across it

Glad you found a new path. Wish I hadn't waited til my 40's to get sober. I would have lost a lot less if I'd given up alcohol sooner. Dealing with depression is much easier without dumping alcohol on top of it.

I did psychedelics as a teenager, but back then they were just more drugs out of all the drugs I was doing. Even then though I knew they were different. Later, I was sober almost 10 years before I revisited psychedelics, and they're the only psychoactive drugs I will do, besides caffeine. Endorphins are good dope. Sobriety is good dope too.

Welcome to the Nexus, and I hope the Aya Ceremony goes well for you.

Hey dude,

Welcome to the Nexus. I'm really happy to hear that mushrooms helped you through a dark period of your life and gave you peace and allowed you to give up some destructive habits. I love reading accounts like this, and this empowering and life affirming property of mushrooms, and you're certainly not alone. I personally cherish mushrooms above and beyond all other psychedelics, and if I could only take one psychedelic for the rest of my days, it would be mushrooms. I've recently been getting back into growing them which is a great thing unto itself I think.

I wish you all the best with your ayahuasca journey. While I didn't ever seem to really deeply connect with ayahuasca, at least as other seems to, ayahuasca was of amazing benefit to my sister during a really dark time of her life, and pulled her out of a deep depression and off a self-destructive path she was on. It was a definite turning point in her life, and I will always have great reverence for it because of this.

Feel free to chime in here following your experiences; I'd be interested to hear how you get on.

I wish you all the best on your journey...peace & blissings to you

Beautiful man. Really!

I had a religious experience under psychedelics, even knowing it's all in my noggin, it changed my life.

I hug my kids tighter than I ever have, I fell in love again with my wife of 10+ years. I spend more time with my parents and less working. This stuff has a lot of power in it. Even if it is just us inside these heads of ours.

I am very happy to hear about this, and glad to see you are happy and realize what you are doing when you do it. Again beautiful story! Seems like a lot of people come here just to let the world know how much power is in these life changing experiences.

~I met a Shaman.

Thanks for sharing something so personal! What a great something to read today! I can relate to what you said. I am happy that you have found some peace of mind and I wish you luck on your continuing healing!

Please let us all know how your aya ceremony goes!

Good Luck!

That's awesome and I can attest having been in deep depression for so many years and having attempted suicide myself that shrooms can have very powerful affect on depression.Indeed this can be overnight and was for me as well.I started microdosing a bit to keep my depression at bay because depression did try to come back.I had a period of time where I was not doing them and was on the verge of suicide myself again after having survived something I should not have and falling right back into a situation that brought it on in the first place.I decided to experience the full power of the mushroom with Psilohuasca and I believe this has permanently changed my life.I have not been the same since and I am sure Ayahuasca will be a great benefit to you.I will be doing this myself but highly recommend Psilohuasca with much homework as well.I did not want to medicate my depression I wanted it gone and I believe that shrooms have the power to make this happen.All the best to you in your Ayahuasca ceremony and the future.Life is becoming so much more beautiful and valuable.
Peace

Hey guys,

Thanks so much for all your posts before, it's great to hear that this stuff has helped so many others and it was really comforting for me to read them.

I had my Ayahuasca experience a couple of weeks ago now, drinking twice over 2 nights.

I came in with 2 main goals/questions - to reduce my weed dependence and to answer some questions about my current relationship (should I marry the mother of my kid, or break it off)

I'm a believer in synchronicity etc. and I don't know about anyone else but the more I notice it the more it happens.

Both questions were answered by Ayahuasca, mainly by crazy coincidences there and the following days, and connections I made with certain people there.

I drank the same brew as everyone else, and others were having pretty crazy trips, but I stayed present in the room the whole time, never going to any "hyperspace" or anything like that.

I experienced visuals the first night - a big grey alien face staring at me, psych patterns and colors, but that was short lived, and nothing like that the 2nd night, except for a shadow that looked like a grey alien face that I stared at lol

I got a distinct feeling of lots of entities were surrounding me and eyes looking at me, but other than that I just sat there awake pretty much the whole weekend, feeling a deep depression but having to face it head on. I hardly slept at all.

I'm still processing it all, and can see I have some tough decisions and rough seas ahead, but feel confident in having the balls to do the best I can in life, and not just going "back to sleep" and sleepwalking.

Cheers and peace+luck to you all