Ive been experimenting with psychedelics for years now shrooms, salvia, ayahuasca, dmt, san pedro and until last week ibogaine.

WOW!!! EVERYTHING IS STARTING TO MAKE SENSE!!!

WHERE TO BEGIN...
about 3 years ago i took a dose of 5 grams of shrooms up at my cottage and came in to contact with what i perceived as a "demon" I resisted and resisted and came to realize that this "demon" had been with me for a very long time. It was a part of me that people liked especially girls. And I could not shake the feeling that my mother knew about this demon somehow.
I ended up surrendering to this demon and broke out in ecstatic dance, pure joy felt like my limbs were moving in a 4th dimension would have loved to see myself in a mirror lol.

I again came into contact with this "demon" the first time I drank ayahuasca with a particular shaman. Again immense resistance very painful, sweating buckets, puking, laughing, crying... The shaman has me lie down and puts a singing bowl on my chest and rings it. I match the frequency of the bowl without even thinking about it (vocally) and have the distinct impression that my voice made the bowl louder... anyways. BOOM no more resistance peace bliss joy and really in awe of what I am capable of in this life.

Again though I had the feeling that my mother knew about this demon. I did not vocalize this and a russian man said "shes known about it for a while hasnt she". I answered yes how did he know etc...

What Ive come to realize after taking Iboga (INCREDIBLY MINISCULE DOSE 0.1 ROOTBARK) Is that this demon is not an external possessing entity. Its me. Its me at my most joyous and freest. Its me knowing im truly capable of anything.
I had tremendously strict parents growing up and am now realizing Ive suppressed the part of myself that is "free" to get along with my parents.

Right now im the clearest ive been in a very long time. Daily I am able to ask questions about myself and receive answers. Profound deep stuff. I am so grateful for Iboga. Its really helped me fully integrate my past experiences and "connect the dots". Also 2 weeks free of a porn addiction theres no going back.

I have a new motto for how I live my life now
Love of self MUST precede love of anything else

Peace and Love

Hi HT777

That's a powerful account of personal liberation. You said you had a strict upbringing. I had a strict fundamentalist family and fun, drugs, sexuality ( everything good!) was seen as sinful. Or the actual devil acting on you.

I know this is the DMT nexus but I also danced all that shit away by raving for a decade usually on E.

Years ago I saw a quote in the Fortean Times were Harry Smith said "civilised man thinks his way out of difficulties, primitive man dances out of his difficulties" ( just quoting no value judgements on my part as to civilised or primitive). I had tried therapy , talking around in circles. But not thinking and dancing on drugs gave me the real insights.

Also I think there are fewer more harmful and alienating things a human can do than release dopamine whilst watching porn alone. Well done on taking action.

Dance can be the cure!

I'm very curious about ibogaine, as well as vaocangine, any thing you feel would be important to share I would be happy to hear.

-eg