Whats up everyone?
So, I've been a lurker around here for probably about 8 years, but I just realized today that I did make an account at some point!
When I a young teenager, I was all about popping whatever pills I could find to get high. It wasn't until I was 16 and tried mushrooms for the first time that I realized psychedelics were the way, for me at least. My first several trips were tainted with darkness as I failed to consider set and setting, yet I knew that there was something more to it all.
On my 18th birthday, I blasted off on 20x salvia extract. I had smoked it once before with minimal effects, light closed eye visuals, but I had read that traditionally, tribes in Mexico would use salvia in place of mushrooms when they could not find any, which was exactly the problem I was having.
Idk how much I smoked, but I packed the bowl fat, ripped it, held it in.... then I noticed the smoke inside me seemed to have dissipated, and my chest felt very light. so, without exhaling my first hit, I ripped the pipe again, and all reality melted away before I knew what was happening....
Next thing I know, I am swirling in a salmon colored realm. I was freaking out, how could I return to my meager reality, after this experience, seeing all I had. I would be scarred for life, I feared. At that moment, there was an essence, not a voice or an entity in full, just an essence that communicated to me with pure love, from which I interpreted, "It's alright, you're safe, everything is going to be okay. I have brought you here to show you that there is something more. And you are going to go back to your life, you will not be scarred by this experience, you wont even remember half of it, but you will remember that I brought you here to show you that there is something more..." and with that, I melted away back to this reality, completely shocked by the experience. I opened my eyes, turned to my friends, and managed to stutter, "w-w-what j-just happened?", to which they replied that i had just been sitting there crying and drooling for about 2 minutes...
After salvia, I was a believer. I wasn't sure in what, but I felt it necessary to explore the realm of plant spirits. I continued to work with salvia once a week for a few months, but was a bit intimidated, despite the comforting message. I stumbled upon mushrooms again, and decided I should take it to the next level...
From what I had heard, you'd have to eat your body weight in mushrooms in order to overdose- i do not know if that is a fact, but i do believe the LD50 of psilocin and psilocybin are much lower than caffeine or aspirin, two things which seem to be ingested rather generously these days. So, I didn't have a scale, but I eyed out about 1/2oz or 14g of some beautiful closed-cap cubensis, and put them all in my mouth at once, chewed for about a half hour or so, or as long as I could before they started swelling and I had to swallow. and ate them with fresh pineapple, really think that might've done something. This was not planned out well, and ended up being a nightmare. Long story short, I had a lot of cleaning up to do on my character, and it all came out. I felt so much guilt for being the bad person I was, and there seemed no way of going about fixing things without making things in fact worse and hurting more people. I had to go lay down, ended up falling out of body for the next 4 hours. It felt as if I literally went through 1000 lifetimes of this, until I finally surrendered my control, and gave in to the mushroom spirits. In my visions, I found myself a quiet grove in the forest, and gave my body up so that my soul may go back to the source. I saw many seasons change, as my body lay rotting, all the mushrooms I consumed sprouted out of my abdomen, then flowers and grasses grew, and soon all trace of my physical self was gone. Then I saw the Hindu god Shiva descend from the heavens, dancing. He carried away with him my soul; there was Shiva dancing, and then I was there dancing with Shiva, and then, I WAS Shiva dancing. I then reconstructed this reality, returned to earth, and stood tall and awakened. Every year since, I embark on a legendary journey in remembrance, but none can quite compare to that first time. There's not a day that goes by that i do not think of this experience...
Later, I was blessed to experience LSD. This helped me to find myself, and to work through a lot of the negativity I was experiencing on my mushroom adventures. I feel quite functional on LSD, and have spent extended periods of time eating it daily and going about my life. I wont do that on mushrooms, but I also don't generally eat more than 3 hits at a time (I've done my share of thumbprints, just don't see the point, doesn't gain much past 3 hits). I started working with my diet, which I found helped a lot with my mushroom journeys. I began having extreme indigestion of meat, and ultimately went vegetarian. I had always had digestive issues, but actually paying attention to what I ate while dieting with mushrooms showed me what was causing the problems.
Through these diets, I began experimenting with passionflower tea, a weak source of beta-carbolines. I had read somewhere that about 1/3 of the mushroom alkaloids just passed through us in our urine, and were wasted. Idk if this is true, but I believe it still. So i keep my mushrooms in my mouth as long as possible so its more of a sublingual ROA. But then I learned that if I drank passionflower tea, I could slow down the rate my liver metabolizes those alkaloids, and likely make use of those otherwise wasted alkaloids (the ones urinated out). Passionflower, being a fairly common herb available in several commercial tea brands/flavors, I assumed would be a safe and mild admixture. Little did I know I was walking the fence of ayahuasca culture...
At some point, I attend my first real festival. I had been to a few family-style gatherings and such, but not major events. I was supposed to be meeting friends there, but I arrived on my own, and about as soon as I arrived, I received my first taste of DMT freebase. I didnt feel comfortable letting go to the blast there, but I soon began to work with the spice quite a lot. One night a few weeks later, halfway through an lsd journey, idk how much exactly, but I vaped a good .2-3g of spice, and strait died... again. I remember experiencing a brief moment of dread, and then I recognized what was happening, and was like "OMG this is soooo much easier than eating a half oz of mushrooms!!!"
I still continued to perform my same legendary journeys, supplemented with passionflower tea and lsd, nightcapped with the spice. Things were getting weird for a while. I started to experience negativity in my journeys again. I had moments where I wasn't sure if I would return from my blast all in one piece, and others where I had to manually control my breathing. i took a 2-3 year break from LSD, and did about the same from the spice. I think a lot of the weirdness had to do with the relationship I was involved in at the time, but I also recognized the mirroring of my own conflicts within.
Years later, I am getting back into it. I've re-attuned myself with some good clean LSD, traveling around trying different mushroom species, they have different spirits about them with different messages to share. and I am trying to reconnect with the spice. I still cannot freely blast off, I get huge amounts of anxiety and want to pull out as soon as things start moving fast. I can drink ayahuasca without too much anxiety, for the most part. sometimes i fear I ate something bad, and then it feels like it will never end, but then it does and everythings all good.
I would like to try vaping spice again soon, I think if i have lots available but just smoke little bits over and over, ill get there. it will take more, but thats ok. I notice if i smoke a little bit, i enjoy it and get excited and almost obsessive. I would then encourage myself to smoke a lil bit more, ease my way through my experience, getting more and more comfortable with what is happening until I am ready to just let go.
I also would like to start drinking ayahuasca again. last year, I skipped both my legendary shroom journey, and i didnt do a serious ayahuasca session like I had the previous two years. I also work with nightshades, and as part of that diet, i do a salt fast. I already was cooking everything I eat from scratch, so I had total control of my diet. I cut out salt for a month, then I did rice and plantains for a week, continued 2 more weeks of rice and plantains while drinking aya brew. Id drink full dmt containing brew one day, then just caapi brew the next, alternate back and forth for 2 weeks. then finish with one more week of rice and plantains, some other fruits. but i continued my salt fast for OVER A YEAR. let me tall you, that was one of the craziest experiences by far, no salt for a year.
Im overdue for brew sessions. Im totally addicted to sugar right now, gotta end it. and hopefully make piece with the spicy goddess locking my out of my dreams.
ok, long story.... hope you enjoy...
