Hello,
First of all I'm sorry this thread is not related to DMT and or aya.
I very new here, and this is the only place I see suitable for a personal experience/opinion/question thread for new users.
I did a small introducing thread which you can find in my signature, if anyone one want to know my background and my experiences (or should I say inexperience).
I work as a software developer, and had some bad days because of family related problems this week.
So.. starting from last Friday (18th) I received some news about family member who lives with me, connected with cannabis and police, and he's going to court session.
We, because of this decided to not use cannabis at all until the court decision was made.
At the same time I was late on few projects, and I could hardly concentrate. I guess I'm also a workaholic, and work late for more money..
From Saturday until Thursday I worked under a lot of pressure for more than 12 hours daily. Thursday night I went to my home town, and the next morning was the court session. I worked Thursday night until 3 in the morning, and after the court session (don't know the court decision yet) we had back to where we live now.
Friday afternoon, started working again with some mixed anger/depression/sleep deprivation/what not feelings(?).. around 11 before midnight i decided I HAVE to brake the rule and try how it goes with cannabis (8 days no recreational use), rolled a big one, without tobacco (we usually mix it with it, it's kinda expensive here
)
In the next 1 hour to 1 and a half, i was fucking on
IT. Finished around 5 in the morning...
The next day, this Saturday I was thinking about what happened (while sober and still with a lot of work to do), and came to a kind of agreement with myself that I've found a way under an enormous amount of stress, to be able to fully concentrate on something that I have to finish.. I was kinda able to tell myself that after finishing this task I will have one less problem to worry about, and also in my case it will pay my bills.
What this also made me realize is, this substance (or, this thing that we do while hanging out with friends, celebrate?) that I'm using often just for recreation, just found it's place..
1. I can continue using it until I feel like it
- grow wiser? get a family?, this is the kind of mindset we have in my country, because it's illegal. What this means here, is that even it's illegal some people will still use it until some period in their life when they say, "this is illegal, we are not using it because we grew up, or we don't want to teach/treat our children bad.." Something like with alcohol, when you take it on celebrations only, or you are considered drunk/alcoholic (only teenagers do it occasionally). And still, know about cannabis and suggest it when needed in medicine (use it with purpose)
2. I continue to use it only when I have a benefit from it
- if it helps me work under a lot of pressure, or maybe do something else under pressure? then I'm not going to use it for recreation. I can use that free time, to learn something new, explore a new world (not necessarily drug related), or just enjoy something else in life.
I like my second option better, but may consider changing my celebration drink
So, I have found another usage of cannabis for myself,
- it's not desperate medicine seek
- it's not my first option (what usually happens in my country)
And now, I don't have a clue how this all works, and I don't know how to validate my thoughts other than sharing it..
I want to learn how psychologically, cannabis affects my thoughts to be able to concentrate no mater what, when I want that to happen?
I would rather share it with a close person (don't get offended), but there aren't any, I have experts and examples of "people" on alcohol, but not on cannabis..
So, here you go.
I admire your work, am very happy that I've found this place, and I'm pretty sure I'm sharing this with the right kind of people.
Any advice, opinion is appreciated...