Felnik wrote:
When I first started having this kind of entity encounter I thought it would be common. In the years I've been on nexus it comes up rarely. For those that have this am I correct when I say it feels like something outside of the self ?

Yes and entirely, for me to explain this more in depth i'll have to share my very first experience with DMT which is something i have kept to myself until now is was a very odd and emotional thing for me but i see no reason not to share it at this point. I apologize in advance for this being a little long winded but im going to describe things in as much detail as i can.

Since i was young (we're talking early teenage years 1990's) I was very interested in experiencing 5-meo-dmt, which was a legal RC at the time. Unfortunately because of my age and the lack of re-loadable visa cards not being created yet i was unable to purchase any. This led to more and more research into the chemical it's effects and its analogues. Which led me to the discovery of DMT. Due to my lack of chemical knowledge and life as a whole this was put off for quite a while.

Now a small bit of backstory which i will omit some details for safety sake.

The reasoning for my interest in these substances was anything but a "high" i have had many experiences in my life that i have never been able to explain and most of the world either shrugs off or doesn't believe existed (particularly my family) My first OBE (out of body experience) was at the age of 5 my earliest conscious memories are around 17 months of age. I only know the rough age for this after describing a location in great detail to my grandmother and what we were doing. she was shocked and informed me that was a place i hadn't been to since before i was 2. Beyond that general notions of a bad event or something going to happen a few days before it does etc etc. The most prevalent thing i find to be a bit of a nuisance to be honest is prediction. Since the patriot Superbowl directly after the 9-11 crisis... first time i attempted this at least. i can tell who will win this is just an example it doesnt matter what the contest is. I actually have proven this to people in a number of ways a few years ago i told this to my boss who was trying to get me into a pool at work. i declined told him this story and was met with the expected disbelieve. I took a paper from his toolbox wrote the winning team on it placed it in an envelope and told him to read it after the game... Guess who was right and hounded with questions later that week. The reason this is a nuisance as i said is that i have the innate feeling if i was to every use this for personal gain like betting i would be wrong so i have yet to test this theory in practice besides as already stated... Beyond that i am a natural skeptic which had me at odds with myself and wondering if i was just mentally ill in some way, which i can assure you i am not.... feel free to disbelieve this or any of the above i'm used to it but no negative comments please..

anyway these sort of events had me interested in the spirit world and anything linked to it so DMT captured my interest immediately.


Now the report: (Thank you for bearing with me through this rant until now)

May 2010- I was invited to a memorial day BBQ by a very close friend which i attended, the specifics of this are not important just a meal and some drinking. When i returned home i was alone and a bit intoxicated...tipsy i guess would be better understand. no slurring or falling... This is where things got a little weird... I have used an assortment of psychoactive chemicals in my life and enjoy a few but was never the person to "want to get fucked up" not my thing i like being able to think rationally.. I digress.. Once i was home i went to my room and put on some music and was just relaxing when the sudden and overpowering urge to become more i dont know the words to use there.. "fucked up" i guess, but i suppose its better described that mentally i felt i was suppose to be somewhere i had to go there now but i didn't know how or why. So i drank a bit more, as some time passed this feeling only grew more intense. I went into my cabinet and retrieved some mdma I had synthesized a month or so prior (yes i gained quite a bit of chemical knowledge since my youth that will come into play later in this accounting) Since i was already intoxicated i did not measure the dosage but it was somewhere between 200mg and 600mg via insufflation. Again this is where things were odd, i felt almost nothing from that became a little calmer but no mental change other than that and purity was spot on... The feeling i had of needing to be somewhere only grew but alas i had nothing more i could do.. As i thought this i had a memory flash before my eyes (my recall is always of pictures like watching a movie in first and third person) of a small vial i had placed in the freezer some time ago. It was a vial of DMT freebase. I had made some 4-5 months prior to this event but was afraid to use it. My interest in it never waned but was afraid of what it might show me, what it might prove to me... am i crazy.. am i sane... or would it lead to more questions.... At the realization that i still had this i went and retrieved it.. i placed an unknown, but rather large amount of clear to off white crystals on top of a bed of ash in a simple glass pipe... Although i was terrified of this substance normally, this time i had zero apprehension. I inhaled and felt the smoke/vapor fill my lungs it was harsh but no more than that of a cigarette. I held the smoke in for an undetermined amount of time and immediately began to feel it take effect.. That feeling of needed to go someone changed slightly. Instead of feeling like the need was being fulfilled it changed to the feeling you get at the start of a road trip.. i was moving forward but not there yet... i exhaled looked at the amount left in the pipe and took another inhalation... this was met with the same sense of yes this is the way but still not enough.... i took a third and final inhalation.. this was followed by the sense that every atom in my body was vibration independently of the others and an amazing high frequency... Then Darkness.. my vision is black... i regain cognitive function and realize im in another place. I have no body, i didn't realize this until i returned but my way of thinking wad different as well no form or mass just existence but i could still see. i was in a void filled with darkness and a purple glow of energy that spanned for eternity yet was focal like being in a room all expansive yet defined i knew all of this space there was no fear or joy in this is simply was. Before me was a singular entity.. very old these notions weren't conveyed to me in any manner i knew these things instinctualy (sp) and weren't questions but shear facts of existence. These descriptions are going to be poor but words just cant describe the sight properly.. Before shrouded by this purple and black energy was a being with a head that can be best described as an obtuse pyramid covered in sigils of black, it wore a cloak of some sort which was was made of this energy and constantly moving and shifting yet not moving at all. It carried a weapon the best word i could use to describe was a sword but with the color of burnt bronze or amber it was not a metal or in any shape i would ever expect a sword to be. As soon as i saw this being for a heartbeat i almost question what it was, but before that idea could be formed i knew the answers this was a being of almost infinite power, it had/has the capability to wipe out existence with a thought and on a whim without any effort at all, as well as the ability to create these same things. As these answers and facts flooded me i saw the happen before me a galaxy blinked from existence in a moment only to be reformed in another. But it had existed since the beginning and was neither malevolent nor benevolent it existed to exist and these things of destruction or creation just didn't interest it. it simply was neutral in all respects it just didn't care, for it there was no such thing as good or bad and unless it took interest in something or had a specific agenda the effort of interacting was more caring and energy than it was willingly to put forth this i knew as fact...(in an ironic fashion this is always how i viewed myself neither good nor bad but neutral at heart)....( this is where i said my understanding was changed i didn't think in the conventional sense or communicate as such there was no language so to speak i learned and knew just like my memory is now by seeing the event and knowing it as if it had already taken place reliving it to remember) Beyond its capability i knew who/what it was in a sense. we have all heard the phrase "torn from the same cloth" This being/entity was kindred i knew from the very core of my existence that this was a part of me and i it in some manner we were not the same being, but we came from the same energy source our beginning and end was the same my "brother" if you will. I also knew that although this being was peaceful with me i had the understanding that if i/it/we were not kindred bothering/interacting with it in any way would not have been a good idea in anyway. after all of these realizations, which should have taken time to experience but it happened in an instance, were over. this being proceeded to relay information in the same manner pictures as i had learned what is was pictures and instances... it showed me a pile of powder on a glass table as well as a few other things and i knew what each was specifically the instance i saw them. The message replayed along with the picture was to no longer have these things in my life... no consequence was given for if i continued to have them there. just the message not to.. it was like being scolded by an older sibling about messing up in life and to stop doing something bad for you. After that was said/relayed i felt myself descending slowly and the image of this being started to simply fade and just the energy field and the abyss was left i had the same feeling of immense attachment to this entity return like one would have for a family member but much more intense as i descended faster but still gently i became aware of my body slowly... i had a body something was heavy on it and there was a sound... words. i remembered what a body was what words were.. the words were coming from me i was repeating the word brother calmly and slowly over and over the pipe was in my had on my chest and i was on my back.. i had fallen backwards from my sitting position on my bed.. the feeling of complete calm and collect lasted until i went to sleep and awoke the next morning..

Now in my stubbornness i did not head the advice and the thing i was told to part from caused quite a bit of trouble in my life within the next three months.. lost my job, had major problems in my now failed relationship, and many friends that are no longer around or not alive... these i will not go into more detail with...

I finally acquiesced and banned these things from my life and inside of 6 months have returned to the same job and even been promoted far beyond my old station, regained my greatest love (romantically speaking) and am progressing in life and much happier...

For me this being was not a reflection of myself or my unconscious mind. i know many will disagree with me and that's fine to each their own opinion. I i felt it distinctly apart from me and the only connection was our source or lineage of sorts. like when i leave this plane i will be returning to the place we both came from.

As to your question Felnik, about the octopus. It is wholly different, i shared no connection with it nor was i in "hyperspace" when i saw and felt the creature for me it seemed to exist between this space and the next. its intentions i'm still unsure of but as of late ever dose it returns and im still unable to breakthrough. i believe this thing is not of my mind but what/where or its designs im still trying to figure out.

again sorry for the lengthy post but after having that kind of experience i figured it would help differentiate the two.

After writing all this i believe im going to use this as my introduction essay as well. I hope you all find what your looking for and i will keep you updated on any new information that i gleam about opti.

Hi drown! I really enjoyed your compelling story. Had me rivetted. Could have done with a few more line-breaks, though

You sound like a sensible fellow experiencing serial challenges to their credulity, as established 'wisdom' would have it. That's a test of anyone's sanity. Even when they're right(actually, especially when they're right), attempting to communicate the perception of such experiences with the people they want to share it with is generally counter-productive. True spirituality is frowned upon in our culture, because it's scary and I have to drive my kid to soccer practice 'bye! One problem seems to be our insufficiency of knowledge about the brain and consciousness. Then there's the unfortunate tendency of people to assume that other people's brains are unreliable, especially young children's, teenagers, adolescents, young adults and old people.

Accordingly, no-one will necessarily believe a word we say unless we're between the ages of 10-12 or 25-30. Big problem, because even those people dream, sometimes seeming so real they're shaken to the core upon awakening. Now, and I think this is the nub, they may be tempted to think: "Well sheet, if my brain came up with that bizarre sideshow last night, what the hell is going on in HIS melon?" It's utterly insurmountable, like explaining an orgasm to a man born without a penis. Until he sprouts one, you have no shared vocabulary on the subject, which is essentially 'tagged' and categorized shared experience.

Personally, I think you're doing exactly the right thing about it. If it enriches your life, enjoy it. If others notice your powerful grace, and ask you how you found such peace, then tell them - they asked for it! Oh, and the prediction thing is real, but it is a magic trick and you're right not to exploit it. Having said that, I think I read somewhere that you get to properly dice once, just for legitimate experience. First offense and all that. Yes, that's the ticket