Hello everyone. I am new member and oh so, so excited to be a part of your forum. I am 31 year old Italian American man living in Michigan former shoomery member and long time drug head.

I have come to this forum because I have noticed the quality of the discssion seems a little higher compared with the shroomery.

Anyway I just wanted to share about me first DMT trips and ask for any advice. On me first btreakthrough I merged into some sort of void of total awareness. It was aware everywhere in every direction. Way way overly intense. For a while there was no duality, only that awareness. It was everything everywherre and it existed before/outside of conventional. Pretty soon me ego began to rise and as soon as there was duality i realized this awareness thing was actually God and that I was a actually a son of the most high God. Then God spoke to me. He appeared to me as a loving father and mighty king. He commanded me to receive his healing. Them a beam of energy shut out from him and hit me in the body. I could feel it surrounding every cell and membrane in me body, right down to the molecular level, and healing them. I came back from the trip a much different person from the person who went on the trip. I decided I would not smoke a breakthrough dose of DMT ever again, because it is too sudden and itense for me.

Well last night I was trying to discern whether I should still trip or give up psychedelics for the time beign and focus on integration. I decided to smoke a low dose (non breakthogh) of deempster but it wasn't working so i heated me pipe on the stove and it worked too well. I realized that I was going to breakthough. Again way overly intense and super traumatic for me. I find myself in some strange after life realm with hideous evil spirits flying at me from every direction trying to devour myself. I called to Jesus and instantly all the evil spirit fled in terror and I am finding myself safe in the arms of Jesus Christ, the Lord and savior. Never ever in me life have I ever felt so loved and never ever in my me life has I felt so much peace. I realized that this was it. This love i felt was that thing whuich I has been search for me entire life. I realize I do all these drug only because I search desperately everywhere for this feeling I call Jesus love.

Jesus then began to speak with me. He told me that he was with me always and that at the deepest level of reality he was one with me as well as being the source of my life. He then told me that God could do anything. He did this because he was able to see what I was thinking which was doubt as to whether God could in fact actually heal a soul as broken as me own.

Oh bother, sorry I got carried away. I know you folks probably dont want to read long accounts of some newbie's first steps in hyperspace.

I feel as though a whole new world has open up to me but I know not how to navigate.

I would like to know whether anyone has successfully integrated these sorts of experiences and become truly a loving peaceful enlightened being from smoking spice?

I would like to know why do i find it hard to feel Jesus love even though I know how it be here always?

I would like to know, how do you guys discern when to put down that deempster pipe and when to pick up the deempster pipe. I always feel like I am not ready for the experience when I pick up that deempster pipe. Is this becase I am just not used to it? Do you get used to it or is it always a big shock when you enter hyperspace?

I would like to know has DMT harmed you or any of your family members? Or have you found it to be healing and theapuetic?

Hello and welcome!

First of all, you are not alone in this! Many people, including myself, have had some very heavy trips indeed! You are feeling the true and utter power of DMT. It can be very unnerving and scary at times but there are lessons within the so called "good and bad" journeys.

How to integrate? Well, that is a common question around here. I will recommend a couple threads for you to read if interested:

Integration WIKI
Question Regarding integration
What Is Integration to You?

The first link is probably the most useful, IMO!

Just so you know, you never truly get over that anxious/nervous/excited feeling. Shock and awe are very, very common reactions. That is just part of it. There are ways to minimize it through meditation and breathing or coming up with little rituals that help calm your nerves before taking a journey with DMT! It is best to try and be physically comfortable as possible and to clear your mind and relax. Perhaps lower doses of Changa would be more in your ballpark of comfort? I don't know, it is only a suggestion...

When to put the pipe down? Well that is a matter of personal preference. If you wanted to smoke everyday then you could but I do not think that that would prove to be very productive. I believe it is important to integrate your intense experiences first to the best of your abilities and THEN move onto your next DMT lesson. But to each their own.

DMT has not harmed me or any of my family members. Since I started using it I have noticed my mood is elevated, I feel more open and free to life in general, and I feel more alive than I have ever been. Sometimes it takes a stroll through hell to really appreciate heaven, you know? And DMT can do that so easily it is ridiculous!

Anyway, I will wrap this up now! Welcome once again and may you find everything you are searching for!

PEACE

-The Grateful One-