Hello, everyone. SWIM will soon try 5 MeO DMT.

Many trips have been read involving NN being responsible for discussion with other worldly beings, but access is not likely. That is the interest. A heavy loss was experienced lately, and the interest is in trying whatever possible to visit that person who is no longer with us.

It is best to avoid traveling the same path they took, because that is the final exit. Allegedly they took their own life, but the circumstances are very suspicious. This person was a potential lifetime mate, but they felt trapped being supported by an ex mate. The wish is to talk to them, if such a thing is possible. So many ideas weren't given to this person, that they were beautiful, that I loved them, that I feel lost without them. They left before these things could be said.

Theories exist which state that DMT is released by the pineal gland of the brain upon death, but isn't this NN DMT? Unfortunately with reading experiences of 5 MeO DMT, there seems to be no visitation with the guardians, machine elves, or what have you. Just a general sensation of loss of ego, and becoming one with the universe in what most describe as a frightening but lucid experience which they later come to enjoy. Feelings of elation, that sort of thing.

So there's the Colorado river frog, and a limited ability to grasp chemistry worse than any simple school child. The confusion is pretty bad, let me assure you.

What is truly desired above all else is answers. Visitation, what lies beyond this life. I must apologize for not being excessively cordial in this introduction, and I do welcome as much feedback as possible regarding this. I don't know if it's a good idea while in mourning, but the experience will be soon. And the pain of mourning does not seem it will go away in an entire lifetime. The mind tries to convince itself of many reassurances. But the pain does not relent. The phrase that time heals all wounds seems like a platitude.

What I'm trying to say is that I feel lost and desire connection with this person. Without them I feel desolate and all interest in wordly things has left. Any assistance or general guidance is much appreciated.

Thanks, and greetings to all of you.

Rethink your quest. You cannot know what experience you will get from the molecules, and open yourself up to crushing disappointment. To smoke DMT and 5-MeO in the hopes of being able to speak to, and hold the departed is unlikely to succeed.

Psychedelics don't really provide answers to those big questions, they just help you learn to ask them in different ways.

Death and the cessation of being is part of life. It has been from the very first second of creation. You will find no happiness trying to overcome it for it cannot be done.

That's not to say that you won't get something out of DMT or 5-MeO, on the contrary, I'm sure you might find the experience profound and enlightening, however, it will almost certainly be nothing like what you are expecting.

Blessings
~ND

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EkswucIfVc this man talks with his deceased mother during an ayahuasca experience.

athough not as relevant; you might relate to this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX81IuhgxrQ

suicide is a hard thing to deal with. it's a way out i know all to well since my family has had suicidal tendencies. i never had someone pass on but i know that it's hard on you.

in this time of grieving i hope you can come to terms with this and maybe learn from this experience in your life. regardless we are here to support you through this. i wish you luck in contacting this person.

thank you for sharing with us this situation; it takes bravery to mention it and open up about it.

Thanks for the advice, I'll take whatever help I can get. There are no assumptions of what 5 MeO DMT is like besides stories from others and the general feeling something entirely different than what was sought will be found. The experience is probably far beyond what words can describe. Humbly, there is acceptance that one has absolutely no idea what they're in for. As for success of meeting the departed, there is acceptance of the unlikely over the impossible. If SWIM has to try every DMT known to man many times, and only succeed once after many failures, then it will be worth it. If it never succeeds, there is only one way left.

This is a point of my life with many failures and only one success. That success was tainted and taken from me. There isn't likely to be another of their beauty and cheer, or genuine interest in one such as I for the rest of my intended short life. There has never been interest before, and I have never progressed as far. Oh, I'm not a young one either. Only the end seems to hold any value. Such as, if there is a specific place for specific departed, then the best way to meet may be to join them.

I hold out hope that is not the case, and so certain journeys must be embarked upon before the end.

And thank you very much for that, Just Say Know. This brings a little hope into the awaited experience.

I wish you luck, but let me share a personal story:

I first starting using psychedelics to enhance my mathematical perception. I had heard of geniuses using these sacraments, and I desperately wanted to join their ranks. Although I did a significant amount of math on my first couple journeys and my skills definitely improved as a result, what I eventually found was so much more. My interest in math has waned, but the psychedelics still fuel many of my other actions and thoughts. I could have never anticipated what would happen to me.

I understand that you are in a tough position, and desperate times call for desperate measures. But when you go under, if you have preset goals you will very likely forget the actual goals, yet feel some anxiety as you know you are forgetting something very important. This is probably not what you want and will not help you accomplish what you want.

Nathaniel is right in that the psychedelics will change the way you ask your questions rather than give you direct answers. We are not dealing with magic pills here. They are tools that can help incredibly with the healing process, however.

Please be safe. If you do decide to try it then I hope you will at the very least find guidance on your path.

DMTheory, your story is interesting and a little distressing.

The line in your response of having an 'intended short life' is hard to get by. Suicide is a pretty big issue with me, it's touched my life in several ways, I can to some extent empathize with your loss. Last year, my best friend died at his own hand. The woman whom i was dating for over a year up until six months ago suffered terribly from the suicide of her previous lover. In fact, she often stated similar desires of communication as you do.

I'm not going to pretend to know or have any real idea of what's beyond the veil, and offer advice on how to use DMT to contact this person on the other side. However, that being said, i will offer what i feel. I don't think that consciousness survives in any way beyond the cessation of life in this plane. Yes, DMT and psychedelics have offered glimpses of what may be beyond, but what it has offered leads me to that conclusion. All that one is, that which individuates them, that which is their 'self', is shed like so many old clothes, never to be donned again.

That being said, 5meo DMT is the 'death button', with it, you may be able to enter a part of that realm. Conferring with your lost love though, i don't know. You may receive insight, but into what, i couldn't begin to offer conjecture.

Good luck, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFgQzaaUwqQ


i remember a moment. i heard the front door slam. suddenly this ball of anxiety; this "signal" of danger overcame me intinctively. i rushed out of my room, and ran into the field after the dark shadowed figure. i soon found it was mom; and cradled in her arms was a diet coke and all of her pills. she was going to kill herself. i did everything i could to stop her and in the end i managed to save her life. then i had to move. for a while i didn't speak to her. when i tried LSA one of the profound messages in my experiences was to tell her how much i love her. it came with the guilt that for so long i hadn't spoken to her as though she was a stranger. in some ways i think i was avoiding the past. but the past has this funny, funny, funny way... of catching you in the middle of your sprint. it has a way of stopping you before you go forwards.
i like to think that suicide is one of those deaths that are especially painful. and i wouldn't ever want someone to take their own life. and the thing is... i had no remorese over taking my own life. so why would i care for someone else?

when i got into watching sociology lectures; they talked about the social causes of suicide and how there is egotistical suicide (a lack of meaning of life) and anomolic suicide (frustration). i soon discovered the "secret" to why it happens. but did that change anything? no. i still felt like i couldn't let someone kill themselves; yet i would have no remorse over my life being taken; by my hands, through accidence, or by someone else's doing.

as i started to live; i realized there's this quote that sticks in my head. "life is like a seed. sometimes in order to grow you have to be dropped in dirt, covered by darkness, and struggle for the light" and i realize how important every second of fighting suicide was. i realized it was survival... i had to survive. i cannot let myself take my own life; because that would be like someone else taking their own life. i realized i cannot self harm; because that would be like someone else self harming.

i don't know if this touches you...but i hope that you find what you are looking for... but most of all i hope you survive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIU7Eabredw

in a way this describes my experience with surviving depression.

So is it 5MeO DMT that exists within the pineal gland, purported to release upon death? Or was it NN DMT? I ask because I have had conversations with alleged veterans. They do not seem to know which one it is, but they tried to warn me off of 5MeO DMT. A couple I've met have said the same thing, that NN DMT is the one where you have conversations with other worldly beings. While 5MeO on the other hand, brings one into loss of self and ego. Both said they never broke through, so I'm beginning to doubt their veteran labeling. It's seeming that they tried it once or twice in small doses. That video of Chris Kilham's experience is making me consider saving my money for a trip to Peru.

I really must keep trying to speak to them (the person lost) before I leave to see them, by any means possible.
On the chance of 100% failure..
If a complete loss of consciousness and self goes away upon the end, I'd be the better for it.

There is next to zero scientific evidence that N,N-DMT is involved with the process of dying, or released from the pineal gland. That was a theory that Dr. Strassman postulated (but has never claimed to have evidence for), that somehow took on a life of it's own, thanks largely to Joe Rogan (who you may recognize as someone who is in no way shape or form qualified to speak on topics of neuroscience or biochemistry). I've never even heard of people generalizing it to 5-MeO-DMT.

If anything, DMT is thought to be a ligand of the sigma-1 Receptor, which is thought to be involved in immune system function.

Very often people experience meeting entities under the influence of N,N-DMT (less frequently 5-MeO-DMT), although it's a bit of a crap shoot which entities you get, and probably shouldn't expect to find family members.

Blessings
~ND

it might however still provide insight and new ways to ask the questions you are asking. it all depends. there's never a true way to tell how an experience is going to go. i wish you luck!

Bingo, and echo ND's sentiments.

But then again, you may not.

By 'death button', i wasn't referring to the theory of Dr Strassman's, although i do see why he would postulate it. I meant that for me, the dissolution off self and ego is so complete with 5meo DMT that it may be the closest thing there is to actually dying. Again, i cannot speak to being able to communicate with a decreased loved one,and frankly really doubt it's possible.

A deep psychedelic exp may show you something very helpful. I would recommend ayahuasca or harmalas with smoalked nn DMTfor a visionary exp, yes.

Haven't been able to read the whole thread, but have you read Tryptamine Palace, by James Oroc? It may not be everyone's medicine, but 5meo seems extremely interesting in my opinion.



There is an interesting discussion on the possibility of biosynthesis in this thread below, where dreamer posts a bunch of related (and a few unrelated) studies. Whereas my post further above it goes into the more anecdotal/experiential aspect. Nothing conclusive perhaps but interesting

https://www.dmt-nexus.me...&m=591347#post591347

I appreciate all the responses and relays of personal experiences. That post by dreamer042 is very interesting. It's a pity they don't get more attention from that, to try and form answers to their questions. I happen to have obtained a non internet copy of Tryptamine Palace by James Oroc. I haven't had a chance to read it, but I really should make the time.

I have twice good news today. I have discovered a strangely recovered from deletion social network profile that I knew of the lost person before. They were told for almost every picture that they were beautiful. This takes a load off of my mind, as I never did summon the willpower to tell them. I so badly wanted to that it hurt. Such social limits should be cast forever into the wind, friends. Remember never to hold back. The truth is that love betrayed them, and feelings of guilt swayed them over the edge. While I am not responsible for the betrayal, I am still furious at the one who is.

But I am not a hateful person. I wish only to love and be loved. There is hopefully a change from this anguish with either the upcoming experience or an expensive trip to indulge in ayahuasca.

The second bit of good news is that SWIM will obtain the means in two days. The simplest method one's mind has ever taken in is then available, but the rules are in bold orange above so that explanation will be spared. The first experience however, will be shared.

Thanks for the link, UC, these look awesome. I know what I'm doing tonight

As a neuroscience/biochemistry person, I get a little bit...tetchy whenever I hear the "DMT is made in the pineal and released when you die," meme. There's a lot of really cool scientific work going on with endogenous DMT, NDEs, and 5-HT metabolites, so it's annoying when all that work gets ignored in favor of a meme.

Blessings
~ND

Well, the Colorado River frog (toad) is here. Supposedly. He arrived with glands that seemed pre-milked. There is no assistance from friends to handle it because everyone says they want no part in torturing the toad. There's no intention to torture it. Gentleness was attempted. SWIM followed the instructions from Erowid to the letter, and he just pissed all over the glass sheet intended for collection. Squeezing the glands (like a zit) produces nothing, even though it was said that it would. This is very depressing. Save expensive airfare to a Peruvian resort, all other options seem too complicated.

So now what happens to the poor toad?

So now what happens to the poor ''useless'' toad now? Do you keep it around, kept in a tiny prison for the rest of its life, or just get rid of it because it's not doing what you wanted?

In my Opinion i wouldn't capture the toad for very long. i would milk it once and release it when it can restock on it's venom to protect itself. but i wouldn't keep them for the rest of it's life in a tiny little cage. i believe animals should be free. also i would try to contribute to their natural habitat; since humans seem to only know how to take.

i also don't know if i'd even milk it. it does stress them out and humans kinda think they could do anything to animals and nature and that nature is meant to be used and shaped to humanity's advantage. not criticizing the OP or anything; but just my thoughts on this.

Oh no, there's a decent sized tank for it with everything she needs. SWIM tried to milk her gently through every single means read about without harming her. There's just no motivation to harm her even if that's supposed to be necessary. The problem is that she's pre-milked by the shipper, probably out of some moral delusion against her self-defense compound. She's now treated well, and fed frequently. Considering a release into the field close by once certain nearby plants are investigated. One is unsure about release yet, but it will happen. She is not useless, serves as a sort of companion for the moment. She hates to be held, but stays fairly calm and relaxed when stroked either under the chin or over her head. Holdings will be minimized now. All creatures (besides insects she eats) are loved. They will not be disposed of (like death) by SWIM just because one feature is no longer obtainable Release back into nature, possibly near the river seems the best option for her freedom.