It's always a nervous experience, meeting new people.

A beautiful pair they made, on the day they celebrated their nuptials. The ceremony was well past over, and the party was just starting. I knew maybe 4 other people, with whom I used to spend a lot of time around, usually until the late hours of the morning. Dancing, talking, being with each other. But circumstances change, people grow apart.

I had arrived quite late, the wedding (a weekend long affair) was in the national park at a scouts retreat. I could hear the music in the hall from the campsite as i pulled up, it carried up the water worn path with inviting bass lines. It had been so long since I had spent time with these people my natural inclination was to drive all the way back home (2hrs). It was dark, almost black with the faint rustle of trees in the near periphery. The light of a cellphone was meandering my way, two people approached. They were unfamiliar.

Be yourself

The conversation started in the usual introductory way, one was a DJ (playing a set at 2am) and apart of the bridal party, he was with his girlfriend. They needed a lift to the coast to pick up a box of records left in a family members car, I offered (likely the only sober person there).
The trip to and from the coast was both temporally slow, and conversationally quick. It didn't take long to gain a sense of comfort that allows my full personality to shine through, this was going to be an amazing evening. They invited me into a room with a group of possum eyed folk, mdma was lined up on the coffee table. After a small line and introductions I was out the door and back up to the car where the "good stuff" was.

I had spent every evening of the week leading up to the wedding slowly shaving 50 HBRW (indian variety) seeds past the fuzz. I also peeled the outer shell that was just below the fuzz (difficulty = insanity).

I chewed 3 seeds on the walk back down the hill to the hall, deciding to swallow them at the last minute. To quash the queasiness building slowly in my gut was simple. Dance, and danced I did.
This has always been a treasured past-time for myself, the only form of meditation that felt to me to be genuine. Assaulted by lights, sounds, smoke, sweaty bodies and chaotic wooden floor akin to a small earthquake I danced myself into a symbiosis with the very matter around me. I had no cares in the world for that briefest of moments (1-2hrs).

Leave the room, go for a cigarette.

The effects of the HBWR were in full swing now, my body felt as though floating on clouds with a mental gravitas pulling me back into the welcoming embrace of the music. Every ounce of me wanted to go back, but I hadn't seen the bride and groom yet (selfish i know). A familiar face was there, painting a face of equal familiarity with tribalistic patterns that no human before this night had manifested into reality . She drew me in on an invisible thread upon her recognition that I had actually made it there.
No words were spoken, none were needed. This encounter could have been an apologetically filled awkward disaster, but the only exchange was paint on skin. I was initiated, past transgressions forgiven and friendship renewed.

I needed to assimilate this.

The rain had begun, a persistent sort that only a Forest of this kind could deliver. After sharing a joint (or 3?) with a beautiful group of people (bride and groom included), and another quick dance (to the DJ who's music was saved by yours truly) I decided to go back to my car for another seed (I felt amazingly at peace in this place and didn't think more than one was required).

You need to assimilate this, alone.

The walk to the car was wet. An umbrella clad figure was approaching seductively, it was the groom.
Peeking his head from behind the umbrella he spoke:

"At least going this way you can see the puddles."

I hadn't even thought to look down at my feet, they were soaked.

"I'm kind of enjoying this rain."

"The one thing better than enjoying a nights walk in the rain, is a walk in the rain under a wide umbrella."

He handed me the umbrella and made his way towards the light of the hall. For a reason that is unimportant, what he said had the most incredibly profound implication that for the life of me I cant remember. But they set the course of my journey from that point until just before sunrise.
I ate my fourth seed with those words on my mind, I had to discover that feeling and meaning that was projected to me from this man. So I went for a walk, and walk I did.

You are doing it right, discover it for yourself.

I felt the gaping maw of the dark Forest calling me into it's embrace, coupled with the music calling me back with its deep slow bass. Following whimsy, I decided to go by way of the Forest in a round trip back to the hall. It was sublime, quiet, alluring beyond the noise of the party, yet I had not explored it's depth. A thrilling sense of fear overtook my body after each step into the void, all I could hear now was the rain atop the umbrella and the gentle rustle of an infinitely immense canopy.
I could see the white tips of my feet as the steep ground fell away with each step (a very steep hill), I could see each truck as it manifest before my eyes from the deep black only to disappear into my periphery.

Stop, now

I stood there for an eternity, waiting for something. Nothing happened.
I whistled once, twice, three times. Still nothing.

I reshaped my lips and listened to my whistle, I mean really listened.

Of Course!

I whistled again, this time projecting the sound beyond the rain and foliage (It was so obvious). I felt as though I had penetrated the entirety of the Forest with my whistle.
Sure enough, I received my reply. The poor bird of a species I don't know was awoken by my realisation, I'm sure it was telling this stupid monkey to be quiet and go back to the other people.

And go back I did, with a lesson learnt.