Hi, so there's a point I'd like to go back to, I believe now that it may be a central point in the way that I experience DMT (at least so far).
This is the feeling of being "pulled out" of my body.
I've only taken small doses and had very light experiences. I remember for the first time getting this feeling to "lose" my body. For that first time, I really got caught off guard and started to panic a little bit, then I remembered reading about "letting go", which helped with the initial fear of the initial experience.
This experience and most of the following ones weren't total loss of body, rather the feeling to being pulled out, or maybe take off (like a helicopter) outside of my body.
Never completely, at the exceptions of very very short occurences (while having CEV) when I had the feeling to "be a part" of whatever it was that I was experiencing. I think I can definitely relate to some stuff that I've read. (only almost happened once while having my eyes open)
I've started to increase dosage and use better ROA lately (as in "today"
![Pleased](/forum/images/emoticons/happy.png)
mostly chasing after that feeling of "dissolving into the experience". This is what I'm looking for, this is what I'm after.
Now I'm wondering, I'm very aware to be a very ego centered person, I've had people define me as "narcissistic" (to which I may agree, up to a point, I don't think I'm that bad tho). And I'm pretty sure this will bite me in the face during one of my next experiences with DMT.
However, I was very surprised with my "eagerness" to let go and abandon myself to the experience. Beforehand, I always thought that, regarding my ego issues, this would be the hard part. So now I'm confused. Are there several stages of "letting go" and "body separation"?
I'm very excited to continue forward with my experiences, next time I'll do 20 or 25mg, see what happens then. I'm probably not yet ready for a full on breakthrough, but I'm definitely looking forward to get further out of my body and into this mad place that I'm beginning to see small glimpses of.
What I'm wondering is, how easy is it for others? to "let go"? should I consider myself lucky to have been able to quickly fight this fear? or (and that may be the more likely scenario) should I expect an ever more intense "detachement" somehow? later down the road? I'm thinking ego death and whatnot.
I remember in one of my last experiences, I remembered that people sometimes ask what they want from the experience beforehand, so I asked, out loud, that I would like to remove my fear of the experience, and it did help, definitely.
but let's be honest, how much of a placebo effect is that?
I could not thank this board enough