Hi, I've been a father for a little over 12 years now, I enjoy it very much. When we separated, with my ex wife a couple years ago, my son, wife and I agreed that it would be better for our son to live with me.
I must say, I'm a proud father. Educating my son has proven challenging, but extremely rewarding. I did not take shortcuts and the results are showing.

I always believed the truth to be the one and only way. Some people say it's sometimes ok to lie, but I don't believe this. It's harder but more rewarding to say the truth in an appropriate manner regarding to who you're talking to. You may not want to say the whole truth all the time, but goes from step to step.

My son grew up without a TV, he's a young teenager now and I sense that he is on his way to become an oustanding human being, he is very sensible, very smart and funny, we often have rather deep talks (we always have, but as for recently I notice him going from child to man, he has proven to be very mature and positive. His spirituality is also awakening (I have what I'd like to call an "open minded christian way of life", I use christian vocabulary to express my spiritual views because I was raised with that vocabulary. I go to mass because I sing in the choir, but I tend to detach myself from "traditionnal" christian views)


anyway, I've been to some "hyperspace" made up from my own mind, but I never was to the "chemical" hyperspace, I doubt I've ever gone that deep. I'm preparing for my rebirth.

However, it does seem to me that the psychedelic experience is of great value, assuming that you're a fairly balanced and honest human being to begin with.

I was asking myself about whether or not I should, as a father, introduce, one day, my son to the psychedelic experience, guide him and also "hold his hand".

Obviously, I do believe he is much too young now, but I was thinking, maybe for his 18th or 20th birthday. Give him the choice (think "blue/red pill" and guidance. Accept any of his choices and help him deal with it.

I surely am not the only parent here. Asking such questions in the "mainstream world" would probably have me ending in a very uncomfortable position. But you guys and girls seem open minded enough to bare with me here.

Do any of you ever wondered about the same thing? do any of you actually went this way?
I have no idea wether or not it's a good or a bad idea, I'll probably know more once I came back from hyperspace. But I thought it'd make for a good discussion.

much love

you sound like a good dad. of course the idea of introducing your child to psychedelics will always sound wrong to society but i believe you are going about it with the right mindset and your experience should be nothing but positive.

Thank you

You know, we all have our demons to deal with, me or my son are of course no exception. I have made some horrible life choices in the past, people have suffered because of me (still, regular life shit, no one died or got physically hurt here )

I grew up and I'm a better person now, I try to be more proactive about being a good person than I used to. And I'm raising my son using my own failures and experience, how I dealt with it. And he teaches me just as much.

I have a few more years to think about the hows and whats of this all, no one knows what the future holds. I simply believe that it's my father's duty to pass on to him as much as my own life experience and teachings. Knowing that his life will be different and he'll have his own challenges to deal with, I can't be helpfull for everything.

Right now, I take care of him as good as I can, I make sure of showing him positive perspectives, it enables me to face my own demons, the extra motivation to show "the good attitude" for as long as he looks up to me. Children make you grow in a very different way, it's like some sort of switch for the "giving" state of mind that isn't necessary something that today's world help anyone develop.

At some point, he'll have to go live his own life, face his own challenges, be on his own.
I want him to have as much chance as I can possibly give so I can grow up and be truly happy. I don't care about career plans, as long as he does what he loves to do and as long as he finds happiness for himself, spreading it onto others.

I can't think of anything more rewarding for someone, than seeing that you took a baby and make it grow into a good person. I hope I can keep it up as a father, I know more challenges await.

You are thinking very far ahead.
Since you have no experience with psychedelics, you don't even know if you would want your child to experience it.

At least in some shamanic cultures, initiating children is normal. For instance, it isn't impossible to find children drinking ayahuasca in south america. But that is a completly different cultural context. Giving children psychedelics in this society would just lay a guilt trip on them because, afterall, these plants are "illegal".

you are right, I don't know and I do think far ahead.

I have come to also find other mentions about that bit about children and ayahuasca in south america. it is indeed a very different context.

I understand the urge to "fit in" in this society. But we also are part of it in that we are the ones who build it.
And sometimes, there can be occasions where society's value are not our own.

This is also what I try and teach to my son, to have is own critical view, question everything that's told to you, regardless of how confident the person telling it to you may look. (and that also includes whatever I say to him)

Right now, I'm not considering much and I'm pretty sure that whenever the time comes, I will have some answers and I can make an educated decision about all of it.

this thread was more about discussing and sharing views and experiences.

Don't give him the option (he might feel that its expected to participate) maybe there is no intrinsic need for him to explore psychedelics.
Just educate when the question is asked and create an open environment so that asking to learn more about psychedelics is no taboo.

Also if you have no experience with psychedelics, how will you guide your son ?

indeed, however I do plan to have this experience in the near future. And I believe that there will be no debate to be had about this afterwards (either way).

and then I'll still have about 6/8 more years to either experiment further, have other experiences and familiarize myself, either leave it aside all together. I don't know

right now it's just a little "brain tease" to think about what ifs and discuss it with open people, see if others have those thoughts, or even if others have acted this or the opposite way.

I'm aware that regardless, this may be an uncomfortable topic to discuss (for example, I wouldn't mind should the topic disappear from these pages and I'd totally understand, we still live in a heavily regulated world where those discussions even, can be seriously frowned upon)



for example, he knows that I smoke "something other" than cigarettes, I never told him what it was, he rarely sees me smoking (I don't smoke when he's in the room). I believe he starts now to understand what it is. And when the time comes, I'll talk to him about it (better me than "friends", better safe than sorry).
But I also struggled with MJ in the past, I'm over it now and I can handle and manage it so it doesn't affect my life in a negative way.

but for that, he'll learn about it eventually. This may not be the case for psychedelics. (hell, I've only learned about them since the last couple of years or so, maybe 3, and I'm closer than 40 than he is to 20)

I don't know (but shall learn about it) what psychedelics are and do to someone, and obviously, I'd never, ever would anyone who isn't completely "matured" as an adult, responsible etc... to ever go on psychs.

should there be an appropriate "age" (I don't believe there is), 12 is surely not that age to even learn about them in our society at least.

Identity has to be built, but also broken in and challenged. You don't take a path by starting by the last step. There is tremendous value in human day to day experience, and I don't think that has to be neglected to profit to some sort of "short cut make believe".

But maybe, for myself, I wish I would have informed about psychedelics half a life ago, they seem a formidable tool to apprehend life.

that is, actually, what I'd like to discuss


I'm aware some of you are younger than I am, and in that regard, your opinion is that much more valuable to me.

This is an interesting topic. I am not a father, not even planning to be for many years. But I can share my own experiences as a rather young man.
When I was about 14 years old and they started to educate us about drugs in school, a lot of lies were told. Like cannabis causing childlessness, brain cancer, violent behavior and stupidness, among others. As you know, kids like to do things that are forbidden from them. In high school, around age 16, many kids I knew started experimenting with cannabis and realized they were being lied in school. Inspired from that fact, some started experimenting with nastier drugs too. Some of them are in very deep shit nowadays and some are not here anymore.

I don't know what's the drug education like in school nowadays, but it's good to talk about these things with your child when they are topical. And it might be very soon. The first time I smoked cannabis was at the age 18, under the supervising eyes of my father . I have to admit it was better that way, smoking a pure product in a safe environment rather than smoking some unclean smuggled hash in parties or something like that. My mother always told me if I wanted to taste some alcohol, it would be better to do so in home. So I took a little sip in my teens, but haven't touched alcohol since then.

It seems you have raised a really smart and responsible son, but a lot of stupid things could be done in a wrong kind of company at the wrong kind of place. I think it's good to educate children about safe and responsible drug use, and also tell which drugs really are those that mostly do only harm. Many kids get interested of drugs in their teens. If parents forbid these thing from them like the society does by keeping them illegal, they will do them secretly. Usually before even knowing the effects and realistic risks, when a lot of bad things can happen and we all know this. So I think it would be wise not to forbid, but to educate and tell to wait till they grow older. For example, if your son becomes interested in psychedelics in his teens, you could tell him that he is free to try them safely under your eyes when he's like 20. You should also be able to tell him about the realistic risks and why he shouldn't do psychedelics too young or in certain kind of environment. Your own first hand experience with psychedelics would of course be beneficial in this case.

Best thing that I can think of regarding the subject, would be to teach your son how to find reliable information and to separate it from false information that the world is flooded with, so he could safely educate himself about things that he's interested in and thus helping him make his own decisions regarding life overall.
Good luck with being a father and have fun

this is a very valuable testimony. thank you very much for taking the time to write it down.

As I approach the experience myself, I find myself thinking that I'm pretty much alone in this, and this scares me. I'll go very slowly, dose wise, and build up. my sitter will be a good/close friend who experienced psychedelics but not DMT and not in a spiritual way. However, since then, he matured alot and I trust him in taking things seriously.

But I wish I had someone with an even stronger connection to be with me when I do the jump. If and when the time comes, I want to be that person to my son because, really, no one cares for his well being as much as I do (probably his mom too, but we live in different universes)

Of course I don't want to ever push this onto him, but if I believe the experience to be worthwile, then I will educate him about it when the time is right.

We'll probably have the cannabis talk in about a year or two

I've been thinking about this topic a lot recently, because I'm now a father to my 9 month old son.

I think where I'm at right now is along the same lines as you...but there are some exceptions. I on the other hand have had much psychedelic experience and understand many subtleties that go into things like decisions to journey.

My question to you is how much of psychedelic culture has or will your son be exposed to by that time?

I don't plan on ever hiding or censoring my psychedelic side with him, so that he is fully aware and curious and asking questions by the time he is 18 or 20. That way he's already got his own philosophy forming in an organic way.

I would think complications could arise from suddenly introducing someone to that part of you if they've never known it until the present. With curiosity and trust your son may be completely willing to take the red pill yet also be full of trepidation due to his own inexperience and unfamiliarity.

I studied psychedelics so much before I ever took them that I felt very familiar with experiences as they came - this to me, is important for most people who will choose to journey because it provides a comfort and safety that is often needed for a positive trip.

I applaud your achievements and hope I can say some of the things you do one day about my son. And I like your ideas on a perhaps ritualistic-esque psychedelic offering, but my advice would be to introduce him into the culture so that he can look forward to this ritual for a number of years.

A good metaphor is when young children get old enough to drive a vehicle. Parents let them know that this day will come for many years in advance. The kids look forward to that day, they form ideas about it, they research it, etc. This is a must if you want a safe, responsible driver the day they earn their license. And so this advance understanding of psychedelics is a must for a safe journey.

Cheers

Interesting claim @ 50:54

http://youtu.be/MG4pDYTuC_c?t=50m12s

I think it really depends on what kind of person your son/daughter grows up to be. If they become a socialite and talk a lot...maybe just let them find their way to it on their own. Because angsty teenagers tend to badmouth their parents to their friends (yes, even the best teenagers might slip up) and their friends might spread that information to somewhere you don't want it to be. I'm not an advocate of having anxiety over this kind of thing, but people like to talk. Confused teenagers make mistakes because they don't understand the world yet...but in time they will.

That's just one potential factor to keep in the back of your mind. The other point that was raised is very important...don't try to get them into it. Not everyone is of the shamanic mindset. Let them be curious...and believe me they will. If you're a good father, then they will look up to you and want to be a part of what you do. It's at that point that you give them information about it in a very nonpartisan mindset. Ultimately, it's their decision. And if they're not ready for it, then it won't be helpful.

Honestly, though, I think a person should be introduced to it with shrooms. And if they like it, they should only do it very rarely thereafter until they are approaching their mid-twenties. But that's my angle on it. The brain is still developing in men up until they're 25 on average.