Thank you for the warm welcome! I am very happy to be here; this is perhaps the best forum I have ever come across, and it is one of the greatest archives of knowledge of which I have ever been a part.
In regards to the specifics of my spice use, I have not extracted in the past. I am waiting for the perfect moment, and with my current studies I am unable to invest the time that is needed to perform a perfect extraction. I am also a little hesitant working with caustic materials.
Before, I have ingested San Pedro cactus powder in capsules without an extraction. So I do understand how powerful the plants themselves can be, and after some recent reading I decided that next time I venture out I may simply make an ayahuasca brew rather than go through with the whole extraction process.
I have only used freebase before, the first time in a freebase pipe where I burned my mouth (I tried using a torch on a tiny pipe and it was not a good idea; it's a learning process for sure). Then I used a bong with the sandwich method a couple times which worked well. I vaporized it with the Arizer Solo, on which I had one of my most powerful journeys; it was a good full 20 minutes of just being out there! Then I went back to my new DMT only bong.
My latest journey was at the peak of a mushroom trip, which was absolutely stunning. I have felt extremely peaceful while I am out there. I came across a grand sphinx (even though I describe it as a sphinx, that is just my human mind trying to put words to what it was to transfer the meaning to anyone reading). It gave me certain instructions on what to do, and I integrated these into my first tattoo that reminds me every single day of that trip and those special instructions.
In the future besides the aya brew I do plan to purchase a Vapor Genie. If I am going to go a lot deeper into this I might as well have the tool that professionals use.
![Very happy](/forum/images/emoticons/grin.png)
I already have a nifty torch lighter, and once I get all my needed extraction materials I will be set for a while.
Regarding the "healing space" you mentioned: LSD brutalized my mind after the first couple uses. I became extremely guilty about the horrible things that I could do with my body. I would look at things and think about things, and just the most horrible thoughts would come into my mind. I was terrified, but after a couple months of trying to integrate I realized that I was having extreme existential anxiety. I've always been a mature person but the LSD propelled it to a new level.
Long story short, I realized my freedom. Yes, I could buy a bunch of liquor and get drunk. Yes, I could get stoned everyday. Yes, I could eat a bunch of candy and fast food. Yes, I could have sex with disgusting women. Yes, I could not exercise, sauna, stretch, meditate, or hope. But that't the beauty that so many fail to realize! We have the ultimate choice for what we want for ourselves in the end!
Before I would ask, "How can I make choices if nothing matters objectively?" Well, I do things that I want to do. That I find right. Why recycle; the world's fucked as it is, right? But I don't feel right if I don't recycle. I KNOW it's better. And although to some it may sound like hedonism, I believe it is almost the opposite. Instead of just going through the motions I try to think about what is right for me, for others, and for the world. Without drugs, I would be a worse person by my standards. I even saved a man's life, and I'm not sure I would have done that had I not started psychs.
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There are downsides, however. I now have problems relating with superficial people. Deep down I love them and would help them, but I get so frustrated on a daily basis just looking at some people. It has hurt my communication with them, and now I have troubles finding suitable friends and girlfriends. Is this worth inner peace? I think so, but I am still searching for a social balance.
Thanks for reading if you did; if you wanted to know me a lot is in here. I'm looking forward to where we can go on this forum.
"Think for yourself and question authority." - Leary
"To step out of ideology - it hurts. It's a painful experience. You must force yourself to do it." - Žižek