Hi everyone!

I have been around for a while, and I used the site as well as the forum as a source of information. I read journeys, tried to find the ones that are similar to mine and enjoyed the comments that helped me to make sense of my experiences. Recently I decided to be active, so here I am.

I have been on the path of psychedelics for a while, but DMT and other entheogens are rather new to me. Not that I didn't know of them, but I discovered their unique language rather lately.

My first DMT experince was too intense and it shocked me deeply. I believe I wasn't able to recover from the shock for a long time. Maybe over analysing it, maybe something else had caused this but I got the feeling of a very frightening deal that is going on. I couldn't explain it to myself, but I felt something is always watching me, something is always mocking me, something vey powerful and cruel was going to do something bad to me.. I am a person who has sleep paralyses very often, and at that time period my dreams were resembling the experince and I had experinced sleep paralyses more often. I had even been told by some mischievous entities in my "realistic" dreams that I was their prisoner and I would never be free..However, at the same time I felt a deeper connection to what felt like a higher self.It was like it was calling me..

I was never sure if I made all that up to unconsciously entertain myself, or if I exaggerated everyhting and wrote stories.. So I decided to do a healing session on my own. I wanted to face with what I had inside. I took entheogens and sat still in the dark for hours.. And well, I felt like I got rid of all.. There began my journey on this path. I decided to study plant medicines and explore them. DMT still scares me, and I get angry at some point during the journey because I want to understand but I don't. I still ask myself what am I doing, or what it is doing to me. Because each time I feel it is doing something to me.. I try to keep a positive attitude and try to learn to trust and stop asking so many questions..

Thanks for baring such a long introduction

Morwen

In my opinion, there's 2 popular ways to interpret this.

The 'entities' may be peripheral personalities of your own psyche, therefore representing something in your own mindset holding you back, making you feel like a prisoner.

Facing yourself, your fear, as you did, and as you mentioned, surely helps.

'Entities' may also actually be beings of other realms. In this case, I would speculate that the entities are only trying to halt your progression toward the light. If they can scare you back, you don't get to realize your power. I believe there are entities which feed, like parasites, on fear. The way a tick feeds...but we can always win. In the end, light always wins over dark, love always wins over fear. What do we do when we find a tick on us? We pick it off and squish it ;P