Hi.

I am happy to have joined this forum.

I have used LSD for 22 years. For five of those years I used the substance as a 'party' vehicle. Thereafter, I have used the substance as a 'journey' vehicle - to truly, and without self deceit, look at myself in a mirror to reveal my true nature.

These journeys have ranged from spectacular, to horrifying. But without fail, after every journey I came away with a clear direction of where I should be headed, and with a (temporary) renewed energy to steer myself in that direction.

My life was once in very bad shape. But now I have groomed a career for over ten years. I have nurtured a relationship with my partner for eight. I have overcome a very negative relationship with food. I also on both an intellectual and emotional level, now understand that everything is connected to everything else. And finally, I have started making music. I would not have been lead as directly to these milestones in my life if my spirit had not been periodically reawakened on my journeys.

Johannesburg where I live is the New York of Africa. It's harsh, and may be having an effect on me. Of late, I have felt two things in me grow.

Firstly, I am becoming increasingly detached from nature, animals, trees, and my fellow man. The mad rush to pay bills on time and beat everyone to the next big thing leaves no space to 'connect'.

Secondly, as transformational as my LSD trips were, they all left me with a sense that those journeys were about ME, and MY relationship to myself, nature, and the physical world around me. These were self-centered experiences grounded in the physical world around me. Recently however, in my day to day life, I've come to suspect that there is more than what I have experienced. Those close me suspect that I am starting to become religious. I do not subscribe to (but respect) common religious metaphors. All that I can say is that there is something beyond 'me' and my relationship to the physical world - and I can sense it, and I sense that there is more to be learned.

These two feelings have brought me to this forum, and I look forward to learning.

Love, ElevenDream.

.. evlendream, thanks for the heartfelt intro.. The spectrum of experience you describe sounds like life has given/is giving you quite the ride.. As for getting caught up in all the hustle and bustle of city life, I think it's something that a large amount of people deal with.. and cope with in various ways.. For instance making music, providing some solitude from the busyness-ness.. What kind of music are you making?

Glad you're here, look forward and onward to hearing about more of your experiences

Thanks for the welcome colour.

> What kind of music are you making?

I'm currently working on a psyambient album. Sphongle, Shulman, Vibrasphere, and Tripswitch are influences that immediately spring to mind - so I'm certain their influence will be heard in anything I finish.

Dear Elvendream

After reading your intro, I decided to join myself, as a fellow Johannesburg occupant.

I do think a lot has to do in the environment you surround yourself. This is especially true with the company you choose to be around with. Energy can be taken from you (or you giving freely), on a subconscious level (of course) leaving you feel drained and detached, sometimes this also creates a block. It is your responsibility to be fully aware of this state and also to understand what you need to do, in order to generate more energy.

This is not always an easy task, as we are talking physically, emotionally and also chemically.

I do not really know if this helps you at all, but felt I to communicate this with you.

:-) Your Fellow Joburger!