Some "?" Pill gave me quite some insight. I think it was probably MDA. Not sure. But it helped me recognize negative thought patterns. My next best guess is something like a stronger Ritalin.
That is ofcourse not what ur asking. I uhh.. Simply communicate on an emotional level with other people when it feels right. Usually i find out more things about myself just by sharing it. One thing leads to another.. etc.
This morning just after i woke up i got so angry from a certain thought. And i literally kicked my door in the first thing after I woke up. Talk about anger issues. Anyway, I realized exactly where my random rages come from when i can't find my coffee or something. I proceeded to meditate for half an hour to calm myself down. And i'm happy to have gained some insight.
A funny, relevant note is that my dreams that night had nothing to do with anger. They where more of less messages for me to decode (i suppose). My anger was basically a continuation from the emotional state in which i went to bed last night..
Now, there's another thing that really bugs me and I am trying to find out why I can't feel comfortable around people for more than a few hours a day. And simply talking to someone about it who happened to have the same feeling.. I kind of realized that my emotion is largely related to some bad experiences from my past. Loads of em. So even though the present is much brighter. I still tend to "Want to run away" from situations. And that very tendency is what makes me so nervous and what people around me can feel and in turn makes them nervous!
I'm not wholly there yet. I'm working on Hypnosis. One of my goals is to induce a dream-state using Hemi-sync or other brainwaves. Doesn't neccesarily have to be a dream state, really. But i have noticed in a lucid dream i have had, that every single thing that happened around me in that dream had to do with subconscious triggers made conscious in my lucid dream. To this day i am still trying to regain that state of consciousness.
