I'm somewhat new to DMT. I did some Aya then recently made my own freebase and had maybe 6 smoalks using a Machine. Entered closed eyes hyperspace more often than not, but I was hunting for a breakthrough (not even really knowing what it was). Waited for my GVG to arrive in the post.
When the GVG arrived, I tested it with a small dose, then I waited for A Right Time. I had things to do, then I had a cold... then I recovered. I was well rested, at ease. Now.
Loaded up the GVG with 40mg fluffy white spice. I noticed some previous spice was left from my previous (and 1st GVG) hit. I knew 40mg + residue was likely to be a monster hit, but I was not wanting to mess around.
I did some deep breathing for the preflight nerves, put on some Shipibo Icaros, and prayed that I be shown what I needed to be shown.
I took a first hit and kept my eyes open and all the lights on as normal. I figured (without knowing anything about it to be honest) that if I was 'broken through' then eyes open or shut and lighting conditions and so on should have no effect.
It seemed to come on strong but was sub-closed-eye-hyperspace, which surprised me for the dose size. Everything 'went funny' but not TOO funny. Crawling walls, geometry overlays and so on.
That faded. I thought I'd 'done' most of the bowl so I thought 'well, I'll just polish the rest off and go to bed'. Lit up, inhaled deeply and the thought 'OH SHIT' entered my mind.
THAT WAS WHEN THE INSANITY BEGAN
HOW CAN I POSSIBLY EXPLAIN WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE?
Whatever I say cannot possibly in a million years do it justice. Whatever I say here can only be a millionth of how totally off the chart insane it actually was.
With eyes fully open within a fraction of a second after completing the inhale the whole room exploded into hyperspace. My whole body disappeared, my head exploded and so did 99% of a sense of 'I'. Breathing was still going on, that was recognized in a remote way.
Everything in the room was screaming hyperspace colors and patterns at me at incredible rates and frequencies. I saw a mind struggling to comprehend what was going on. Who was I? Where was I? What was going on? How was this happening? Dumbstruck. Awestruck. Shocked. Totally a Goner.
Small robot creatures (that I've met before in eyes-closed hyperspace) jumped up and down on my desk as real as real can possibly be, saying (telepathically) 'here we are, you wanted to see us? well here we are! Haha!' (and so on). Totally real. Totally. Real.
It was totally, totally mad. The icaros in my ears stuttered on and off (was it the player malfunctioning, or my hearing abilities switching on and off, or...?), seemed to be playing backwards, and speeding up and slowing down, with pitch changes.
Some recollection of having smoked something became known. A thought drifted by... 'I should ask for help' (from my wife, upstairs) but wasn't acted upon because the very idea of even TRYING to do ANYTHING remotely normal like speak, think straight, or make any kind of co-ordinated physical movement was instantly known to be totally out of range.
Another disembodied thought drifted past: 'I will just open my eyes and come back to reality'. Followed by the realization that the eyes WERE open. Then the thoughts 'Will I return? I just don't see how I can come back from this.. Will I be here forever? Will sanity be possible even if I do return? How can one see this and be sane afterwards?'.
These were not troubling thoughts, but real questions. There wasn't any sense of panic or discomfort that I remember - I was seemingly too blown to smithereens to have such a human reaction.
After what seemed like an INFINITE amount of time, the insanity subsided to a level where 'I' returned and could take a scientific kind of interest in bits of what was going on. The robots had disappeared but hyperspace was still fully intruding and penetrating into this dimension in other ways.
The encroachment of hyperspace had altered the things in this dimension - for instance the large fake plant in my room - all its leaves had changed size shape and orientation and was emitting some information to me. I had the true feeling that it was revealing itself to me to be 'alive' in some sense. Everything is 'alive', it just doesn't seem like it when viewed only from this dimension.
I took time while I was still broken through to thank whoever or whatever was listening out there in whatever dimensions there are for this continuing incredible and totally freaking insane experience, and said 'take me back anytime, please, please show me more - this is what I'm here to experience, the full effect - don't hold back on me'.
After I returned to 'near baseline (in truth I am not even at baseline yet and I took this hit about an hour ago) I started to shake and shiver and got very cold, my heart rate went up, and I started to feel a bit 'travel sick'. I think I was 'catching up' with the magnitude of what had just happened.
This could take quite a while to integrate. I'm very happy to have broken through. I can't really say how an experience could be any more extreme than that was, but perhaps it can be. All I know is that I'll be heading back there soon.
PS this made all my other experiences with every other drug at any dose look like kindergarten school by comparison. This was absolutely ludicrously insane.
All posts are made on behalf of, or referring-to, a paranoid internet buddy who does not wish to post on this forum directly. He or she reads the forum and tells me what to respond. I sometimes paste his or her communications in verbatim to save time (and therefore these posts naturally use 'I', 'me' and so on). Other times I write as myself and refer to my buddy's exploits explicitly ('my friend', and so on). I do not know my buddy's real name or location, we met on another forum. I am basically a member of this site as a human proxy for an anonymous other.